Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
Green-> @Spearmint
draining reflections from a deep sink
Purple-> @EllieMae
Red-> @ScarlettFire
Turquoise-> @KateHardy
Blue/gray-> @WeepingWisteria
Text version:
Spoiler
light blurs off my metal; it curves through water
all the way down to the lonely place no one has ever ventured before.
nothing reveals my deepest depths where secrets lay forgotten and
scraps of food are swirled down to their eternal repose.
perhaps the depths of my corpse reflect the depths of my sorrows,
water comes in endless swirls but it never washes it all away
i clean the endless dishes and cups and utensils, but who cleans me?
If I only clean myself, will I ever truly be clean?
will i ever be shiny and untarnished again? no scratches, no dents, just shiny silver.
will it be a re start? or can I begin anew memories intact? do I even want to?
if all the soap scums leave will I become the sink of Thesus?
i swirl with deep thoughts and questions of who i am (who am i? i am who? am i who?)
but i am insentient to emotional feelings, only sentient to pots and pans,
they bang and scrap and scatter, leaving scars and memories like wandering ants,
dump their grime through my heart, just glad to get away
but no one asks if I am ready to be defiled, they just say it's my higher purpose
i exist for others. i exist to be filled, to cleanse, to take away what they don't want.
and then i am forgotten, left behind, simple and deep and empty,
light blurs off my scars and scrapes; no one will ever see my brokenness.
i'm just the holder of your dish anxiety
and i'm too fulll to hold my own tears.
Thank you for reading <333
Howdy, everyone!

I remember seeing posts about this but didn't realize it was still in the Green Room! Super fun topic and clever exploration/reflection of a sink's world.
First of all -- I like the title and the cover image, I think they're intriguing and also spot on.
This stanza starts of with a physical image, but quickly delves into the emotional and philosophical aspects of the sink. It looks like most of the lines are exploring the "depths" of the sink, which I interpreted to be sort of the sink's soul, "the lonely place no one has ever ventured before." Since two lines later, we see that "scraps of food" actually make it down the drain, I kind of take it that the rest isn't as literal about the "depths"!
I think it's cool and does a good job of introducing the kinds of things the sink thinks about. And the last line really introduces one of the main themes of your poem, an interesting take on cleanliness.
The one thing I wonder about in the stanza is the use of the word "corpse"--I wonder if it's implying that the sink is inanimate, or that it's dead inside? It seems like an interesting choice to use a word related to death to describe the sink, who is narrating the poem, rather than the food, which I associate more with decay. Maybe we're meant to think that something is decaying in the sink on an emotional level? Which is a cool take!
Love the switch over to largely questions! I think it works really well.
On the second line, I think "If I only clean myself" refers to doing the cleaning, but it also reads as the sink cleaning itself, but the first line asks who is cleaning the sink. I guess it's unclear if the answer is the sink cleans itself (and is that enough?), or if it's saying something different.
Also, I relate to this stanza a lot as a reader -- I just tried to clean out my sink today in a funny coincidence, and yes, there are still stains! D: I hope the sink's memories stay intact. <3
I'm not sure I get the Thesus (Theseus?) reference, but do love the last line with the three who am i/i am who/am i who's.
Ooh I like the relationship with the pots and pans! Really love the imagery of the second line, and how it uses only relevant objects/characters, like ants, who might be around a sink.
I'm not certain what "i am insentient to emotional feelings" -- it seems to be saying feelings don't recognize the sink as animate? When, with the pots and pans bit, it seems like it would make more sense to say the sink is insentient to humans, who can't recognize it as a thinking being? Or, is it instead meaning to say the sink can't understand or recognize its own emotions? Lots of interesting potential there.
So sad to see the sink talking about "grime" and being "defiled" -- this stanza definitely gives a pretty low outlook on the sink's existence. It would also be really neat to see, in contrast to that line about the sink basically existing to serve, what the sink would want to exist for. Seems to me it would be a philosopher or poet!
"Simple and deep and empty" -- I love that. And I like the connection of light in the second line to the very first line of the poem, the shine of the metal. "I'm just the holder of your dish anxiety" was a hilarious add -- it made me chortle. And I also like how it stands out in contrast to being used just to clean; there's another layer to it, the sink also holds the emotion of anxiety. The last line is also iconic, especially considering the sink is probably full of water as well as dishes. I like that image of tears along with all of the water, stains, etc. imagery.
Basically, what I'm saying is, you nailed the last stanza! XD
I love the way you all made me think differently about sinks. The one thing I'd like to see is perhaps even more exploration of the sink's thoughts; there was a fitting emphasis on cleanliness and being an inanimate object and some ponderings on emotions, but like I mentioned earlier, I'd love to see some hopes of the sink, or maybe more of the sink's "body language" :0 would be neat to talk about the spigot and drain and different bits.
But I really loved this, and I guess all I want is even more sink poetry. XD By the way, I didn't specifically pay attention to who wrote what lines, since it was a little simpler just to take the poem as a cohesive whole, but I really appreciate all of the lines every writer brought to the table, and how they come together really well thematically. Reads like a really successful collab poem to me.
-Q
Love a good collab poem! <3
Hi, guys! century here to review this wonderful work using my tea making method! Let's dive in.
first impressions
i love collab poems so much! the sink descriptions scattered throughout were just everything to me. i loved the way you all pondered about becoming anew with cleaning, and describing the pots and pans that go into the sink? genius!
the ending too! ahh! the way it becomes desolate and unfeeling is so amazing. i loved this so much.
compliments
a few stand out lines in my opinion:
the use of respose was beautiful, and i also love how scar described secrets "laying forgotten" instead of like. staying forgotten, for example.
these two were so pretty together! "insentient to emotional feelings" HELLO??? that was such a great poetic choice! and also the way it was described how pots & pans only dump their dirt into the sink so they don't have to deal with it? amazing.
the person-ness (personification?) of the sink in this sentence was amazing! i loved how it added to the poem and specifically how the sink is wondering about why it itself is never cleaned/cared for.
critiques/room for improvement
I don't have anything to say here! This poem was beautiful, and i hope i could join in on the poeting next time
final notes
this was so beautiful to read, i love sink poetry now??? (dishwashers part 2?)
-never stop writing-
century
Wow, I’ve never thought about my sink so deeply before. Good work, keep writing. (Sorry for the short review)
God bless
~Charli
favorite part was guessing who wrote what until i scrolled a little further and saw the key LOL
also this quote goes hard:
like i don't even know what to say. love it all
Ahhh, thank you!!!!
Omg that's my line!!! I'm glad you like it <33
Awesome poem, all of you!
Awe, thank you so much!!