Young Writers Society

Hello Hello, I hope you dont mind me popping in with a quick review. Props to both of you for creating a very honest and reflective piece. By the way, your voices blend together really well ( it can be a tricky balance for sure. ) Forgive me if this is kind of a short review as I did enjoy it a lot so I can't really go that in-depth for feedback.

Before I start with the two lines I would slightly tweak I have to say I also love the use of comparison to seasons. I kind of wish it was pushed a bit further since nature and change can evoke a lot of powerful imagery. You could have tons of fun with it perhaps something to keep in mind for a future collab.

Okay okay, On to the tweaks I would make to some of the lines. This is going to be super small and simple so stick with me with me here.
Starting with this line, "Spring makes me feel like I am alive again," Do keep in mind this could just be me but I feel you could cut the clutter and get the same effect " Spring makes me feel alive again"

Secondly, this one is just me messing around with phrasing. "I begin to feel bare and I can no longer hide from my mistakes," perhaps you could tap into the wilting tree metaphor with a bit of rewording." I begin to feel bare unable to shed my mistakes."

All and All these are just my musings good job you two. Keep writing and drink water!

A newbie reviewer so take lightly!! <3

I loved how beautiful this poem was following the cycle of seasons as a metaphor for personal growth and emotional experiences. The imagery throughout the poem is vivid and evocative, painting a picture of nature's cycles mirroring the ups and downs of human experience. From the warmth of summer to the bare vulnerability of fall, the reader is taken on a poignant journey of introspection and self-discovery.

The use of poetic devices such as metaphor, simile, and imagery enrich the text, adding depth and emotional resonance to the themes explored.

A little nitpicks:
Clichés: Some phrases, such as "breath of fresh air" and "head held high," are clichéd and lack freshness. Replacing these with more original language could elevate the poem's imagery and emotional resonance.

Lack of Specificity: While the poem evokes powerful emotions, it could benefit from more specific details or anecdotes to anchor the reader's experience. Adding concrete imagery or personal anecdotes could make the poem more relatable and immersive.

Winter shows me that I will always have another chance,

To be better than I was yesterday,

And to forgive the girl I used to be,
To move forward with my head held high

Hi names 22Midnight
hope your doing well, let's get into it!

First Impression: I like the title for this, looking forward to seeing what that might mean, from my guesses from just looking at the title, there might be something enveloping a persons growth threw a time where they were in a lot of pain and then moved past it and ended up being stronger on the other side.

Summer feels like a breath of fresh air,

Like a kiss of the sun on your cheek,

The warmth reminds me of how much you used to love me,

The yellow dress you bought, still hangs in my wardrobe.

Spring makes me feel like I am alive again,

Living like the blossoms on cherry trees,

Once again, I feel capable of growth,

I'm proud that I'm not going to be a rotten fruit.

Fall reminds me of my imperfections and inadequacies,

Losing leaves like the trees around me do,

I begin to feel bare and I can no longer hide from my mistakes,

I feel like crying, but I try to see it like the beginning of a new start.

Winter shows me that I will always have another chance,

To be better than I was yesterday,

And to forgive the girl I used to be,

To move forward with my head held high.

Hey y'all,

I'm rusty at reviews. Take with a grain of salt.

The motif of the seasons is well-used, but not unwelcome-- it's easy to connect to, as everyone experiences the wheel of the year in one way or another. I like how y'all used the seasons as a way to illustrate the feelings described in each stanza.

My favorite stanza was the first. It also contained my favorite line:

The yellow dress you bought, still hangs in my wardrobe.

I feel like crying, but I try to see it like the beginning of a new start.

A lump forms in my throat, but this is my new beginning.

A lump forms in my throat, but the old leaves must fall to make room for new.

AHH this so beautiful!! I love it <33