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139,248 Literary Works • 672,523 Reviews
Lyrics
and thank you to the amazing @Spearmint for writing with me!
Oh washing machine, Oh washing machine,
Spoiler
The way you twirl and tumble.
Oh washing machine, Oh washing machine,
The way you twirl and tumble.
Your glass, so clear and gently curved
We see our clothes-- they spin and swerve
Oh Waschmaschine, Oh Washing Machine
The way you twirl and tumble.
Let us all remember in our gratitude and our reflection,
With our dear Y.W.S friends and chickens,
The real and true meaning of pure joy,
The birth of our washing machine, Waschmaschine.
Oh Waschmaschine, Oh Waschmaschine,
The way you twirl and tumble.
Oh Waschmaschine, Oh Waschmaschine,
The way you twirl and tumble.
Our clothes all cleaned faithfully,
Our trust in you, washing machine,
Oh Waschmaschine, Oh Waschmaschine,
The way you twirl and tumble.
On fabric
On water
On laundry detergent
Waschmaschine means washing machine in German. The lyrics to 'Oh Christmas tree' go back and forth between English and German, so we decided to use that too in this poem!
I love this. This made me laugh so much, that I think I'll be singing this song instead of the original on the Christmas. The title is also pretty funny, seeing how once, you used "washing machine" and "Waschmaschine".
Jokes aside, it's really catchy. I think the lyrics will stay in my mind for a long time ((o(^∇^)o))
Thank you so much for your kind review, friend!
What an absolutely exquisite song to add to the Washing machine Poetry Genre! I have a feeling that @dissonance and @starlitmind the champions of that delightful genre would strongly approve. Though I'd love to hear their thoughts on this piece too - I'm kind of a novice to the washing machine poetry genre myself, so please bear with me as I may misunderstand some of the more technical parts of the genre-specific qualities of this poem.
Overall - this was a great allusion to a beloved Christmas song!
Let's take a look at some of the different sections ~
I thought the chorus was a very successful revision. Reading the wikipedia article about the song - it seems the original is sort of meant to mainly be an ode about how wonderfully green fir trees are - > there's a steady faithfulness to their ever-greenness. And the same is true for washing machines right? They're always spinning... good continuity I think!
Fun rhyming - I also like your nod to the German origins of the song by using "Waschmaschine" here rather than Washing Machine.
This stanza didn't quite flow as nicely as the others to me, the first line's syllables I'm not sure quite fit the song's?
As a tad bit of critical feedback, I also didn't love the "the birth of our washing machine" line -> only because it plays a little too closely to a parody of Christ's birth, with this being a parody of a song traditionally used around Christmas, the line feels maybe a touch too sacrilegious for my preference - but that's just my perspective!
Glad you touched on another great qualities of washing machines; on top of their reliability, they're also great at getting stains out of clothes!
Is there something like this in the original song? The last three lines I'm not sure are necessary!
Only other little addition, is you might want to note the original song writer(s) even though the song is within fair-use now, it's still nice to give the original authors you're inspired by credit.
Oh! Also I love the graphic you came up with for this ~ love the bubbles amidst the ornaments! Clever!
keep writing,
alliyah
Hey alliyah, I really appreciate your review, so thank you!
I am not sure if it is the original lyrics exactly, but the lyrics we searched up had this little blurb at the end so we decided to try and mirror the layout of that version! Thanks for everything you said
Hello hello! It is me Sky! I hope this review finds you doing amazing! Let's get into it shall we?
First of all as an artist I must begin my review with how much I love the art in this poem. The design is amazing with the Christmas theme and bubbles! I absolutely love it! Did you make it yourself? That's so cool if you did!
I also love how this is written in the "O Christmas Tree" tune! Super creative and extra brownie points because I LOVE that song.
I love all the verbs you used to describe the washing machine. Tumble, twirl, swerve, those are all very strong verbs adding extra strength to this poem!
I also love how you added YWS and chickens into your poem! Once again so creative and I love it!
I honestly don't know what we'd do without washing machines lol.
I actually don't read poems all that much but I absolutely HAD to read this poem because it looked so interesting! I really enjoyed this poem! I also didn't know that Waschmaschine means washing machine in German! Very fascinating! I have learned two new words today!
Soar high, keep writing, and have a wonderful day/night!
-SkyVibes
Hi Sky! Thank you for the awesome review
We made it in Canva! Mint is a Canva mastermind, if I do say so myself!! Thanks for the review!!