Hunter - chapter 6, 7 and 8

by EM8650

Published September 12, 2020

12+

In My writing

Chapter six – Introduction to shifters

“Violet.” Ethan called my name snapping me back to reality. “You coming inside.” He was already half way up the stair case that lead to his and Nicks apartment. As I opened my mouth in preparation to answer him but the apartment door was flung open, startling Ethan so much he nearly knocking him over the banister.

“Bro, Hart get in here.” Instructed Nick before he disappeared out of sight. Not wanting to spend anymore time outside I raced up the stairs and even passed Ethan on my way inside heading straight for the kitchen. I passed Nick who was seated in the living room. When I was in the centre of their kitchen I open the fridge and didn’t shut it again until my hand was securer around a beer bottle. “Beer?” I called. From a distance I could hear footsteps approaching, instinctively I turned to find nick standing behind the kitchen counter.

“hand us the bottle Hart.” I loved the way Nick said my name even when it was just my hunter name. I had just finished taking a sip and was handing the bottle to Nick when Ethan entered the room.

“Hey Violet.” Ethan Continued. “Aren’t you like 17?” Ethan tone as firm almost in a parental figure way. At this I turned my attention to him. “So?” I said taking another sip from the bottle Nick and I had been sharing. “Besides I’ll be 18 in a few week plus if I remember correctly you’re the one that offered me a drink last week.” I had done my best to keep my tone from getting any louder as I spoke.

“So why are we here Nick?” Ethan voice was much smother now compared to when he spoke to me.. “Oh right. Hart have you herd of shifters?” I look at Nick then Ethan before shaking my head. “ ok well you might want to become familiar with them. Shifters are what killed that girl not vampires.” I stared blankly at him. “Her throat had been ripped out Hart. Vampires don’t rip out there victims throats they simply puncture them.” My face was still blank and nick looked over to Ethan.

I was about to asked another question but I was interrupted by the sound of a car horn from outside the apartments. I looked at my phone. “Dam it.” I said “Look guys I’m sorry but I promised this friends I would go to a party with her tonight.” I stood swiftly taking one final sip from the bottled I had been sharing with Nick before leaving the room and stepping onto the stars to meet grace.

“Hey sorry. I forgot you were picking me up. Just let me run in and change.” I said opening the door to my apartment. Grace held up her hand. “No need you already look killer in that outfit.” She said eyeing my clothing chose over just one more time before continuing. “Do you happen to have any boots over 2 inch?” We both laughed as we made our way to my room.

As I was changing into my 4 inch boots I thought of no better person to ask about the un-known topic of boys. “Hey Grace.” I said shyly. “Can get your advice on something.” She looked at me eyes wide. “Its about your two cute new neighbours isn’t it.” I could feel a flush of heat spread across my face and I knew I must have been bright red. Grace squealed. “I knew it. Tell me everything.”

I hadn’t wanted or expected to tell Grace everything but once I started I couldn’t seem to stop until I had told her everything about the few brief moments I had shared with both the brothers.

“Nick” Said Grace sounding so confident. “That’s who you will end up with.” I looked over at her, blank expression. “What makes you say that?” I asked cautiously. “He wouldn’t have asked if anything had happened between you and Ethan if he didn’t like you, Violet.”

Grace picked up her phone before looking back at me. “I’m going to go get the car started. You should probably find a jacket.” She was just about to leave but something made her stop and shove a hand into her handbag. “Put this on before you come out.” She said handing me a tube of classic red lipstick. As Graced skipped out of the room, I reached back into the trunk pulling out my old back leather-hunting jacket. After carefully applying a small amount of lipstick. I took one final look in the mirror tucking a knife into my boot.

After stepping out the front door, I was surprised to see Grace leaning against her car talking to Ethan. “Grace invited us.” Said a familiar voice from the shadows of the front porch. “Of course she did.” I muttered under my breath silently cursing myself for telling her about my feelings. Nick emerged from the shadows. “Cheer up Hart. You’ll be spending your night with me after all.” Under the faint light of the full moon, I could see the remints of his most charming smile spread across his face. 

chapter seven – Dead girl walking.

We arrived at the party almost 45 minutes later in Graces 1987 mustang. Climbing out of the car first, we thought it best we stand back while the guys attempted climbing out from the back seats. “Did you girls really have to banish us to the back?” Complained Ethan when he finally managed to climb out. I looked at Grace and we both laughed. “Yes. Yes we did.” Graces voice was light as usually but I detected an undermining emotion within her tone.

After locking her car, Grace suggested we find the keg. Which under normal circumstances would have been a great idea but I was also on the hunt for a shifter or group of shifters that wanted my blood although I still couldn’t understand why.

The four of us had been standing in a group at the edge of the woods for nearly an hour when Grace announced she was taking a walk because she wanted to say hi to the group of girls that passed us only 15 minutes early. As the time went on both Ethan and Nick had left, leaving me alone. When the minutes began to roll into an hour I thought it was, best I go, looking for Grace even though I knew with this many people it wasn’t going to be easy.

I had been wondering around the party looking for Grace for nearly 7 minutes when I stumbled upon Ethan surrounded by a group of girls I recognised form my advanced calculus class. However, the moment Ethan’s eyes found mine he seemed to forget about the group surrounding him.

“Hey Violet. Wanna dance?” Ethan’s voice was clear and confident. “Promise I won’t step on your feet.” At that, I let out a low laugh taking one final glance around I spotted Grace flirting with one of the fraternity boys. With a nod of my head, I let Ethan lead me to the centre of the dance floor.

We had just made it through 3 songs when something in Ethan’s eyes changed. His hand slid inside my jacket and rested on a small patch of exposed skin on my back. Pulling me closer his other hand cupped my chin while his thumb ran over my lips. “You skin it’s.” Ethan spoke softly. “It’s so soft. I couldn’t help but blush. Ethan’s crystal blue eyes were so memorizing in the moonlight. His face was close enough to mine now that I could feel his hot breath against my already flush cheek.

I lifted my eyes to meet his. Ethan began to move closer but stopped when our noses brushed. Taking one final breath, he closed the remaining distance between us. Ethan’s lips come down hard on my own. His kiss was deep, full and demanding, but there was no passion, no spark, and no chemistry. That was when I broke the kiss taking 3 deep breaths, I looked over his shoulder and Immediately spotted Nicks face in the crowed. Hurt flash across his eyes and that was the moment I knew. I knew exactly how I felt about both of them. “Ethan we can’t.” my words were so quiet I wasn’t sure he had heard me. I knew I couldn’t dive deeper into my new understanding of my feeling just yet because that was when I saw her.

The girl that had been announced dead earlier that day I gestured to Nick and spoke softly to Ethan. “It’s the dead girl or the shifter in the form of the dead girl. ” Ethan face lit up like a kid on Christmas day. “You ready to hunt Violet?” I hear to excitement in his tone. I nodded my head and smiled. We walked over to Nick before falling into the hunting pattern we had talked about a few weeks ago and following the shifter further into the woods. I stood in the lead with the 2 boys trailing close behind. I knew that if Nick had, had his way he would have taken the lead but I had been more than insistent on taking the lead.

When the shifter stopped a few meters a head of us we all pulled up abruptly. The shifter turned around with a smile on it’s face. “ Nice of you to come young Violet Hart. No why don’t you put the dagger down and make this easy for me.” The shifter continued to smile at me and I realized that the guys weren’t behind me. “Great.” I muttered quietly to myself. The shifter stepped into the light Grace had been right the dead girl had a striking resemblance to me. I couldn’t help but smile, I hadn’t been on a proper hunt in years. “How about I don’t put my dagger down but instead put it through your heart.” Just as I finished my sentence the shifter decided to make it s move lunging for me, fangs bared. Its eyes had now changed from gold to red. Is first attack was so fast I didn’t have enough time to brace myself and was tossed to the ground. Within a blink of eye it was on top of me pinning my hands above my head as I reached for my dagger which was only inches away from my hand.

“How does it feel hunter to be helpless?” The shifter snarled. In an instant my all my old training came flooding back to me and with a smooth swing of my leg I was back on my feet with my blade firmly in hand. “What was it you were saying about being helpless?” I was enjoying this exchange of banter it was one of the things I had missed the most about the hunt. Before I knew what was happening I was flying forward. A sharp pain running through my spine. I let out a loud cry.

“Careful! We do not want to lose any of her blood.” My blood I thought, what did they want with my blood. “Why me. I mean there are so many drunk college kids here that you could of snacked on so why me? What make my blood so special.” The two shifters looked at me like I was stupid. Then the one I had been trading banter with came and knelt beside me. “you really don’t know? Did your hunter companions not tell you the full truth?” Full truth? what did it mean by full truth? I made a mental note to ask the guys about it once I had killed the two shifters. Just as the thought passed my mind I heard the scream of a dying supernatural. I took it as my opportunity to plunge my dagger into the chest of the one kneeling beside me.

It was in that split second that a third scream erupted from behind me, pulling my dagger from the decaying chest I turned ready for a fight only to find Grace standing there eyes wide open her moth in the shape of an O. tears started to roll down her cheek as she ran. “Ethan!” I yelled. “Get her, Explain. Now!” Ethan didn’t wait to respond he knew how impotent it was that we got Grace to understand or at least forget what she had just seen.

I heard a twig snap just off to my right and that made me remember that I wasn’t alone and what the shifter had said to me. “Not so fast Parker. The shifter said you and Jones know why I’m being hunted so explain!” I angry at him an I wasn’t going to even try to hide it when I spoke to Nick. “Out with it Parker!” I could see Nick sucked in a sharp breath choosing his next words carefully.

Chapter eight – Graces perspective

(This chapter is written from Graces perspective)

I had been walking around the wood for 5 minutes in a beer-induced haze when I found Nick. He was standing over a pile of black goo. When my eyes landed on Violet, I couldn’t help but scream as she drove a dagger into the chest of the person kneeling next to her.

They both turned to me, Violet jumping to her feet. Ethan running out from behind a tree. I could feel tears forming in my eyes but it was only when one fell down my cheek did I turn bolting deeper into the darkness. I could hear Violets voice behind me. “Ethan.” She yelled. “Get her. Explain. Now!” I could tell that he didn’t need to be told twice as I heard his heavy footsteps in the near distance gaining on me.

I had been running for some time now and my legs were burning. After narrowly avoiding a tree a stop to catch my breath. “Grace?” I looked up to find Ethan standing in front of me. “Stay away from me.” I warned him. “Grace I just want to explain what you saw back there that’s all. I’m not going to hurt you.” I don’t know why but something n the way he spoke made me believe him. “Fine. Just stay there.” I said, airing on the side of caution. Ethan took a seat on the ground and looked back up to me. “You might want to sit.” I did as he suggested and waited for him to start.

“Me, Nick and Violet.” He took a breath. “The three of us are hunters.” Ethan looked at me with sympathetic eyes. “It is the job of a hunter to kill demon blooded half breeds. What you saw Violet kill tonight was no college kid it was Shifter.” I was shock. Hunters, shifters when was he going to start telling me the truth. “The shifter is what killed that girl the other day.” I could hear the urgency in his voice now. “No… Stop lying.” I chocked out. I hated being lied to. “Grace listen to me I am telling you the truth. You don’t have to believe me but I am. The three of us are hunter and we were just doing our job.” I lifted my head and met Ethan’s gaze it was strong but there was a hint of hurt deep within it. “Come on. Let me walk you to your car.” Ethan held out his hand to help me up but I shoved it aside. When we finally got to my car he gave me one final look before speaking. “Grace you can’t tell anyone. Not only would you be putting me, Nick and violet at risk but also yourself.” I reluctantly nodded before driving off.

When I pulled up outside of my dorm, I couldn’t help but feel like Ethan had been telling me the truth or at least part of it. After stepping into my room and locking the door behind me, I pulled off my shoes to reveal the 2-needle size scares on my ankle. The memory was so strong an over powering, it knocked me off my feet. In my mind, I could still see the gold in his eyes before the flash of red, his charming smile and soft voice before the fangs shot out and the snarling began. I had fought so hard to bury the memories of that night that I had almost forgotten, but after listening to Ethan, I couldn’t help but bring it back to light.

I curled up on my bed tears streaming down my face as I will for sleep to come and eventually it did.

Comments & reviews · 3
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IcyFlame
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IcyFlame wrote a review Review · Sep 29, 2020

Ok I'm back!

Wow, three chapters in one post, better make sure I'm mentally prepared! I'm glad you have more action in these sections as the love triangle was taking up too much of the story in my opinion. If you rewrite this when editing, I would focus of trying to sprinkle the whole romance element between the action rather than having it happen in big chunks. That also helps with the perception that time is passing and it would then be understandable (or more so) when they seem to fall for one another.

I do think the pacing is still the biggest thing that needs work for me. You have a really interesting story but some of the best bits feel a little rushed. For instance, the fight with the shifters. This seems like a key plot point and I'd like to see it drawn out a bit more, build up the tension and make us worry that Violet won't get out of this as easily as she does. Readers love/hate an emotional rollercoaster ;)

The other part that I feel could be lengthened is Grace's PoV. I like that you've thrown it in for some extra insight but I also think it would be great if we could have had another chapter from her point of view earlier on. That way we have a bit more knowledge of her before this point. However, think about how much you're going to write from her viewpoint. If it's just this once I would say remove it and find another way to show what she's going through. I'd love to see more of her reaction though - she seems very quick to trust Ethan and get back in his car... why didn't Violet go after her? Surely she'd want to make sure her best friend was ok? And even if not, surely she would call her later?


I've also got to say I'm a bit confused as to Violet's feelings towards the brothers. Is she stuck because she likes them both but can't choose between them? I was getting the impression she preferred Nick, but she always seems to end up with Ethan. I'd like to see more of her inner turmoil around that. Also, they seem surprisingly ok with each other considering they both seem to go after the same girl... maybe that will all come to a head soon!

Anyway that's all from me on this section, hope it helped!

Icy

EM8650 replied · Sep 29, 2020

Thank you again for taking the time to review my work.
I hope you are liking the story so far.
With Graces PoV I have included another in newer chapters.

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kaitlyn
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kaitlyn wrote a review Review · Sep 14, 2020

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm Knight Hardy here on a mission to ensure that all works on YWS has at least two reviews. You will probably never see this but....Imma do this anyway.

First Impression: WOW a lot happened in those three chapters. There was just so much drama scattered all throughout this chapter and then so many hints that are laid out for us. I really love just how much mystery and excitement this chapter contains. Its a nice contrast from the romance heavy chapters that came before this. It should be really nice to see what all of this fuss is about regarding Violet.

Anyway let's get right to it,

“Violet.” Ethan called my name snapping me back to reality. “You coming inside.” He was already half way up the stair case that lead to his and Nicks apartment. As I opened my mouth in preparation to answer him but the apartment door was flung open, startling Ethan so much he nearly knocking him over the banister.


I think the "you coming inside" is a question so you need a question mark there.

“Bro, Hart get in here.” Instructed Nick before he disappeared out of sight. Not wanting to spend anymore time outside I raced up the stairs and even passed Ethan on my way inside heading straight for the kitchen. I passed Nick who was seated in the living room. When I was in the centre of their kitchen I open the fridge and didn’t shut it again until my hand was securer around a beer bottle. “Beer?” I called. From a distance I could hear footsteps approaching, instinctively I turned to find nick standing behind the kitchen counter.


Well clearly someone is in distress from what happened earlier. Great job showing that here with her actions instead of just telling it.

“Hey Violet.” Ethan Continued. “Aren’t you like 17?” Ethan tone as firm almost in a parental figure way. At this I turned my attention to him. “So?” I said taking another sip from the bottle Nick and I had been sharing. “Besides I’ll be 18 in a few week plus if I remember correctly you’re the one that offered me a drink last week.” I had done my best to keep my tone from getting any louder as I spoke.


Well that is a nice way to introduce her age to us. Good choice there.

“So why are we here Nick?” Ethan voice was much smother now compared to when he spoke to me.. “Oh right. Hart have you herd of shifters?” I look at Nick then Ethan before shaking my head. “ ok well you might want to become familiar with them. Shifters are what killed that girl not vampires.” I stared blankly at him. “Her throat had been ripped out Hart. Vampires don’t rip out there victims throats they simply puncture them.” My face was still blank and nick looked over to Ethan.


Oooh well this got even more interesting now. I wonder who these shifters are....werewolves come to mind.;)

As I was changing into my 4 inch boots I thought of no better person to ask about the un-known topic of boys. “Hey Grace.” I said shyly. “Can get your advice on something.” She looked at me eyes wide. “Its about your two cute new neighbours isn’t it.” I could feel a flush of heat spread across my face and I knew I must have been bright red. Grace squealed. “I knew it. Tell me everything.”


Oh dear...that will not end well.

After stepping out the front door, I was surprised to see Grace leaning against her car talking to Ethan. “Grace invited us.” Said a familiar voice from the shadows of the front porch. “Of course she did.” I muttered under my breath silently cursing myself for telling her about my feelings. Nick emerged from the shadows. “Cheer up Hart. You’ll be spending your night with me after all.” Under the faint light of the full moon, I could see the remints of his most charming smile spread across his face.


I predicted this...poor Violet.

The four of us had been standing in a group at the edge of the woods for nearly an hour when Grace announced she was taking a walk because she wanted to say hi to the group of girls that passed us only 15 minutes early. As the time went on both Ethan and Nick had left, leaving me alone. When the minutes began to roll into an hour I thought it was, best I go, looking for Grace even though I knew with this many people it wasn’t going to be easy.


Okay that was a lot...who actually chases after a group of people that went by like 15 minutes ago. Maybe 5 minutes is more likely but 15 just seems completely impossible at this point.

We had just made it through 3 songs when something in Ethan’s eyes changed. His hand slid inside my jacket and rested on a small patch of exposed skin on my back. Pulling me closer his other hand cupped my chin while his thumb ran over my lips. “You skin it’s.” Ethan spoke softly. “It’s so soft. I couldn’t help but blush. Ethan’s crystal blue eyes were so memorizing in the moonlight. His face was close enough to mine now that I could feel his hot breath against my already flush cheek.


Here we go again...

I lifted my eyes to meet his. Ethan began to move closer but stopped when our noses brushed. Taking one final breath, he closed the remaining distance between us. Ethan’s lips come down hard on my own. His kiss was deep, full and demanding, but there was no passion, no spark, and no chemistry. That was when I broke the kiss taking 3 deep breaths, I looked over his shoulder and Immediately spotted Nicks face in the crowed. Hurt flash across his eyes and that was the moment I knew. I knew exactly how I felt about both of them. “Ethan we can’t.” my words were so quiet I wasn’t sure he had heard me. I knew I couldn’t dive deeper into my new understanding of my feeling just yet because that was when I saw her.


OOOOH SPICY MOMENT DETECTED.....I love that!

The girl that had been announced dead earlier that day I gestured to Nick and spoke softly to Ethan. “It’s the dead girl or the shifter in the form of the dead girl. ” Ethan face lit up like a kid on Christmas day. “You ready to hunt Violet?” I hear to excitement in his tone. I nodded my head and smiled. We walked over to Nick before falling into the hunting pattern we had talked about a few weeks ago and following the shifter further into the woods. I stood in the lead with the 2 boys trailing close behind. I knew that if Nick had, had his way he would have taken the lead but I had been more than insistent on taking the lead.


Double spicy moment. This chapter just keeps getting better the more I read.

When the shifter stopped a few meters a head of us we all pulled up abruptly. The shifter turned around with a smile on it’s face. “ Nice of you to come young Violet Hart. No why don’t you put the dagger down and make this easy for me.” The shifter continued to smile at me and I realized that the guys weren’t behind me. “Great.” I muttered quietly to myself. The shifter stepped into the light Grace had been right the dead girl had a striking resemblance to me. I couldn’t help but smile, I hadn’t been on a proper hunt in years. “How about I don’t put my dagger down but instead put it through your heart.” Just as I finished my sentence the shifter decided to make it s move lunging for me, fangs bared. Its eyes had now changed from gold to red. Is first attack was so fast I didn’t have enough time to brace myself and was tossed to the ground. Within a blink of eye it was on top of me pinning my hands above my head as I reached for my dagger which was only inches away from my hand.


That was really fast paced action that you have right there...think this would do better if you broke it up into a couple of smaller paragraphs. This is just a little bit too big.

“Careful! We do not want to lose any of her blood.” My blood I thought, what did they want with my blood. “Why me. I mean there are so many drunk college kids here that you could of snacked on so why me? What make my blood so special.” The two shifters looked at me like I was stupid. Then the one I had been trading banter with came and knelt beside me. “you really don’t know? Did your hunter companions not tell you the full truth?” Full truth? what did it mean by full truth? I made a mental note to ask the guys about it once I had killed the two shifters. Just as the thought passed my mind I heard the scream of a dying supernatural. I took it as my opportunity to plunge my dagger into the chest of the one kneeling beside me.


Wow this chapter definitely reveals some really juicy secrets all just BAM BAM BAM.

They both turned to me, Violet jumping to her feet. Ethan running out from behind a tree. I could feel tears forming in my eyes but it was only when one fell down my cheek did I turn bolting deeper into the darkness. I could hear Violets voice behind me. “Ethan.” She yelled. “Get her. Explain. Now!” I could tell that he didn’t need to be told twice as I heard his heavy footsteps in the near distance gaining on me.


Well that definitely is a very interesting scene for her to have happened upon. You're doing a pretty nice job of showing how a regular person would react in that sort of scenario.

“Me, Nick and Violet.” He took a breath. “The three of us are hunters.” Ethan looked at me with sympathetic eyes. “It is the job of a hunter to kill demon blooded half breeds. What you saw Violet kill tonight was no college kid it was Shifter.” I was shock. Hunters, shifters when was he going to start telling me the truth. “The shifter is what killed that girl the other day.” I could hear the urgency in his voice now. “No… Stop lying.” I chocked out. I hated being lied to. “Grace listen to me I am telling you the truth. You don’t have to believe me but I am. The three of us are hunter and we were just doing our job.” I lifted my head and met Ethan’s gaze it was strong but there was a hint of hurt deep within it. “Come on. Let me walk you to your car.” Ethan held out his hand to help me up but I shoved it aside. When we finally got to my car he gave me one final look before speaking. “Grace you can’t tell anyone. Not only would you be putting me, Nick and violet at risk but also yourself.” I reluctantly nodded before driving off.


Nice touch of realism that she doesn't believe it immediately.

When I pulled up outside of my dorm, I couldn’t help but feel like Ethan had been telling me the truth or at least part of it. After stepping into my room and locking the door behind me, I pulled off my shoes to reveal the 2-needle size scares on my ankle. The memory was so strong an over powering, it knocked me off my feet. In my mind, I could still see the gold in his eyes before the flash of red, his charming smile and soft voice before the fangs shot out and the snarling began. I had fought so hard to bury the memories of that night that I had almost forgotten, but after listening to Ethan, I couldn’t help but bring it back to light.

I curled up on my bed tears streaming down my face as I will for sleep to come and eventually it did.


And wow that is yet another really fun little teaser there to end things on. These chapters were really good at really building up the whole mystery behind everything. I hope all of these get paid of well.

Aaaaand that's it for this one.

Overall: Overall this was a pretty cool series of scenes that you've got here. It definitely does a really good job of making you read on wanting to find more. Grace also seems like a really interesting character for you to introduce at this point. I feel like this may be heading towards some pretty interesting stuff. Should be interesting to see how things turn out.

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry

EM8650 replied · Sep 15, 2020

Thank you.

Think you need to check your intro there Harry, when you're commenting on new work people will probably see it ;)

Shh....I totally do not have a template that I copy for every review...;)

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Overwatchful
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Overwatchful wrote a review Review · Sep 12, 2020

Hello, Stormblessed here!
Your writing is getting better! There definitely weren't as many spelling mistakes, so good job! I would still advise reading your writing out loud, as that will help you catch any other errors.

For this review I'm going to focus on storyline. The action is starting to pick up, both with relationships and hunting, and you definitely portray that well. What will really help is working on your use of commas, which I can help you with if you want! It makes the sentences less run on, and gives shape to them.

I can't wait for the next chapters! Hope they come out soon!

Hope this helped!
Stormblessed242
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EM8650 replied · Sep 12, 2020

Thank you for the review. I am going to release chapters nine and possible 10 later today.
I hope your enjoying the story.



The roots of education are bitter, but the fruit is sweet.
— Aristotle