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I'd be a unicorn

by Dreamy

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11 Reviews

Points: 276
Reviews: 11

Thu May 27, 2021 10:48 pm
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TheRealEuphoria wrote a review...

Hello, Euph here to review this lovely, and unique poem! XD

Firstly, I wanted to bow at your ability to take any subject and somehow turn it into something so extraordinary. I was truly surprised when I opened the page and read an amazing poem with such a weird title. Great job for that!

Now, into the actual work itself:

I was slightly confused on who the woman is to the narrator. I re-read it a couple times and at the end just made up my own little story to make this poem make sense: which is what I absolutely love about poetry. There are so many different ways to interpret different works. In the end, my interpretation worked out just fine and I loved the poem even more!

The ending is what really got me, I love how you transitioned the last stanza into the last line,

And I think if I were a horse, I'd be an unicorn.
. It was one of those things that you wouldn't expect. In the beginning of the poem, I had actually thought the whole poem was going to just be about the unicorn, maybe from the unicorn's POV. But, you revealed that it was dream-- which was also mentioned in the seventh line:
The woman appears in my magical dreams,

Overall, wonderful job and I thoroughly enjoyed this! Keep up the great work!

~ Euph

Dreamy says...

Hello, Euph. Thanks for taking the time to read and review the work. The poem is about one woman and the woman who appears in her dream is herself. I'll try to edit to not make it so confusing.

But thanks again!

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7 Reviews

Points: 389
Reviews: 7

Thu May 27, 2021 7:13 pm
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EuphoriaFalls wrote a review...

I actually love this poem. It's very dreamlike and gives off a very mystical tone with its imagery and word choice which is definitely right up my alley. It was sort of confusing on the first read-through but I think having to read poems several times to somewhat understand them is par for the course so no issues there.

I can't help wonder about the relationship between the woman and the narrator. As in, why does this woman keep appearing in their dreams? What does she represent? And why does the unicorn come into play? Lots of questions and not many answers but I guess that's the point, haha.

One phrase I keep dwelling on is "stealing my stars and thunders". I'm guessing the meaning isn't supposed to be clear but I can't even figure out what that means to me personally. I keep getting the sense that there's this older woman basically trying to steal away the narrator's youth.

Another confusing part are the lines "begging me to save her" and "the woman in my dreams doesn't beg". So is she begging or not begging? I guess she isn't begging and the narrator's just though she was begging at first, but she does steal apparently.

One point of correction:

It should be "a unicorn" not "an unicorn", the type of indefinite article you use is dependent on whether the next word starts with a vowel sound not simply a vowel.

Something else I liked: I think the poem has good rhythm and you made good decisions on how to break down your lines and verses.

In conclusion, I think you're a really good poet. I'd honestly probably buy a book of your work. It puts me in a really whimsical and mysterious mood which I like. Keep up the great work!

Dreamy says...

Hey, there! Thank you for all the lovely comments. I really appreciate it. The title, yes. I made the same mistake when I was writing my paper and the red squiggly lines appeared under the word, asking me to make the change and that's how this random sentence occurred to me. And from that sentence I developed this idea. But still kept the mistake as a joke. Now, I see that it's only more damaging to the poem so I made the change.

This is about one woman and her dreams. The woman who appears in her dreams is herself but she couldn't recognise her. I thought I was making it clear by alluding to her "begging" and "asking". I should have extended on her "sand paper voice" which could have help understand that the woman in her dream is herself. I was planning to do the same but I don't know why I didn't follow through. It's not very nice to leave your readers completely confused. Not cool. haha.

Thanks again for the review! Have a good day!

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47 Reviews

Points: 651
Reviews: 47

Thu May 27, 2021 6:38 pm
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LilPWilly says...

I’m confused.
I like everything I understood, but still, I’m confused.

Dreamy says...

I don't understand it myself! Can you believe that? But thanks for taking the time to read it. I appreciate your comment, and sorry you're confused.

LilPWilly says...

No problem
I get it lol

I am deeply disturbed by your ability to meow.
— Carina