The debugger is on.
I set breakpoints every line.
Scanning and scanning
and scanning I go,
checking moments of my life.
*
My life crashes like that stupid code.
It never compiles at my will.
The semi-colons that I missed
haunt me every minute.
*
The schmuck that I am,
I never returned what I took from her.
She didn't expect much.
Just a pointer that appreciates her value.
*
The buggy code was like my wardrobe.
My unused junk of variables like my unused expensive clothes.
The space I allocated for them stings me till date.
*
The test like my parents tried correcting me every time.
*
I, like my mundane assignment,
headless and clueless
about my own memory.
*
The code ultimately crashed,
like my life in general.
And I laughed it off,
because the debugger took over the code from me.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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140,479 Literary Works • 673,245 Reviews
Ha this is actually quite an interesting topic to address in a poem, I don't think I've actually read a piece about coding before! I like that you made this topic easy to relate to and somewhat humorous even for people who have no idea about this sort of thing. One area of improvement, is that many of the lines seemed pretty inconsistent in length. I liked the pieces of imagery you put throughout and also the characterization of the speaker. I'd love to see more actual coding references and maybe more consistency in the lines though.
Nice work!
alliyah
This is amazing! I definitely get the metaphor. I don't know much about coding, but I've done a few courses for school over the years, and the way you compared the frustration of having a bug in your code to the difficulties of life is wonderfully accurate.
The poem is really unique as well. I've actually never seen this kind of comparison in any literature I've read. I think that using just a little more real-life description of sadness, rather than only explaining it through code, would make the poem more meaningful and relatable. But overall, your writing is fascinating, and your organization was pretty much flawless. Keep writing.
I love this!
I'll start with the things I loved. I really enjoy the humour and satire element to the poem, I like how you've used the emotionally frustrating feeling of errors in the code, and you've linked it subjectively to yourself. I can totally relate (right now I'm working on an algorithm in Python to automatically sync photos from an iPad to put it on a floppy disk, old school I know, but oh my goodness is it frustrating!! haha)
Some improvements. Try to make it a bit more emotional, use more adverbs and try to make it less mockingly sad, yes I know that the rationale of a satire is to be mockingly funny but to act incredulously upset would have been even funnier.
I also think it would have been really funny to include syntax errors in an analogy.
Keep it up, nice job, you don't see many of these poems around and I love the originality. - Tiana