Jelly stuff! Careful, it bites! (3)

Hey there. Decided to leave you a review! c:

So, firstly, I found this quite amusing! In a weird way, the pacing and short worded lines just added to this humor.

Okay, onto some suggestions...

I will start by saying, I was a bit confused for the overall meaning behind this. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I assume that jelly is considering itself superior to humans? >~>

The random nature of this poem, worked for it, overall. However, at times it made it just a wee bit confusing. I would reccomend working on adding vital details that make a poem's overall meaning, obvious and/or able to be interpreted by the end. I wouldn't change anything about this poem, just keep this in mind for future poems. Even if a poem is supposed to be random, it should have some sort of meaning.

And that's all I had to suggest. I'd lastly, like to add that your ending was my favorite part! It made me giggle oddly enough (because I'm seriously not the laughing type >~>). So excellent job, and I look forward to seeing more of your work! c:

Wow. This is amazing. The pacing, the rhythm, the repetition...To tell the truth, I really enjoyed it.

I wouldn't say it's very deep, sure, nor hilarious necessarily, but it certainly was fascinating to me. Don't pay too much attention to Dropout. His brain just doesn't work in the right way for him to be interested by this. It's certainly not for everyone, I guess, and certainly not what I'm used to.

Actually, I kinda felt like a blob of jelly was talking to me...laughing at me, criticizing me...
It's that "weird dream" effect that you're so good at creating.

I'd like to see someone try to put some kind of odd music to this.

What.

Once again, this was random in a pretty bad way. I request that you understand that random does not equal funny. Random equals something uninteresting and quite embarrassing. Probably offer something deep and witty, then you would get a lot more fans digging this work. If not, then you would get more reviews from me saying this.

thanks.

DoubleOJell0,

I expect to read more jelly poems from you, might I suggest a haiku?

This piece was pretty jelly, I must admit. And funny in a smelly kind of way.
Your voice comes across loud as day, probably as a result of repeated "mortals"
as though endearments, that gave me a chortle. I agree with the reviewer below, stop using "life and love", and show us - don't withhold! I get that jellies are sarcastic, their jokes can bite, but I'm sure they can be tragic too, I'm sure they can be dramatic. Give us more of the inner jello, how does it go, how does it taste, and feel, and sound? Maybe then after all of this, we'll stick around for thirds and fourths.

Keep writing more words!

~ as always, Audy

Hi,
Oh yeah, I did cried a lot and I won't pay the band and this surely bites.
Technically speaking, this is beautiful as jellies.

You made a interesting "philosophy" between jellies and humans. All the personifications are beautiful and well made. These breaking verses are quite appropriate because it marks this as non-human art or in a simple term, an extended personifications.

But you got a big mistake over here, Jelly Man!
No, I mean you have an interesting point but the words are quite non-vivid.

Love and Life go well together, but I just got a feeling that they are confusing and make this painting dirty. I beg you, PLEASE USE OTHER WORDS OTHER THAN THEM >;<

Don't open this...

Spoiler

NITPICKING TIME!

~~~But before that, I think nitpicking isn't the best thing ever and I think jellies wouldn't want to read because they are jellies...know what I mean...?

And live is you ,

You meant life instead or live, right? And the spacing there! Be careful! but spacing isn't so important.

And after that, I think the parts you mostly got wrong are the punctuation. Remember, punctuation is alive as a jelly is alive. (Punctuation is important...)