My Dear

by DivergentDemigod

Published July 16, 2016

E - Everyone

In humorous works (poems n others)

I think about her day and night.

The way her glasses frame her face.

I think about her all the time,

no matter the time or place.

"dude, you'r smitten" they say,

but that's just a mere way

to describe my feelings for you.

Yeah I know I'm in it for deep,

but then again after all its you.

You make my legs feel like jelly.

And mind you, 

I don't get nervous easily.

~

I like the way you work

the way you turn

walking without any jerks

out shining everyone.

"do I love you?" of course I do.

"isn't it obvious?"

my life would be next to hell, if it wasn't for you

you bring a smile on my face

every time I see you,

not to mention the way my heart race

just at the thought of you.

~

I've been in love with you

since the very moment I saw you.

Parked in front of my house, looking so confident.

Just looking at you I could say,

we were going to go a long way

you and me together.

Yes," I've been in love with you for what seems like forever"

I don't know what I would have done without you

you are the most beautiful being in my eyes

And always have been

I love you and only you my dear car.

~

Comments & reviews · 4
User avatar
felistia
Review
felistia wrote a review Review · Jul 20, 2016

Okay so I can't really find anything to change in this poem. It's really funny and I didn't see the end coming. The only mistake I found was this

The way her glasses frame's her face.
I'd say "frame" instead of "frame's"
Overall I really liked this. Keep up the good work and I hope you have a great day\night. :D

Your friend, Felistia. :D

User avatar
writerkitty
Comment
writerkitty commented Comment · Jul 16, 2016

This is so awesome, the ending was hilarious!! :D
Keep up the amazing writing!
kitty.

User avatar
Aravind
Review
Aravind wrote a review Review · Jul 16, 2016

Hey DivergentDemigod!


Great piece of poetry. I see elements of romance, relationships, and friendship/family coming into this too.

Content wise, I am able to quickly grasp how you describe your loved one. Every detail about this special person and how much that person means to you. It's good because we can assume this in the context of romance or even friendship and family.

Grammar and Spelling wise, you have a clean sheet record of keeping your tracks clear. Check over the second line of the poem, "glasses frame her face". This would be suitable.

Structure wise, you've organized the content into stanzas. This is good!

No doubts about coherency, because everything is intact.

I am able to spot similes, personification, imagery, and metaphors.


My personal rating for this work is 4.6/5


That's an extra "like" from me :)

User avatar
dogsrule5
Review
dogsrule5 wrote a review Review · Jul 16, 2016

Hey, Dogs here for a review!

First off, I really liked your poem, I loved the ending to me it was very funny!

I didn't see any nitpicks as I was reading, but that might just be me, because it's morning, and I'm half asleep still xD. :P

So anyway we will get into the good part of the review!

1) I loved the ending I just had a smile at the end of this poem. You were in love with a car. XD

2) The meaning: I liked how you most likely would've done so much for this... Car!

That's was what I liked the best about it!

Overall I loved the entire piece! I hope I see a ton more works from you in the future!

Keep up the great writing,
Love,
Dogs

No problem! :P

~Dogs



Mr. Scorpio says productivity is up 2%, and it's all because of my motivational techniques -- like donuts and the possibility of more donuts to come.
— Homer Simpson