Chemistry

by DivergentDemigod

Published March 27, 2016

12+

In humorous works (poems n others)

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Chemistry,

Whoever discovered it, was a total jerk-trust me.

All those stupid laws and formulae making,

According to me, it is just time wasting

And will anyone please tell me,

the difference between CO and Co

Cause for me, it is a big mystery.

*

Chemistry,

The word itself is enough, to give me a headache.

And learning the reactivity series,

just feels like, a cherry on top of the cake.

Helium comes first or was it hydrogen on the top?

Carbon reacts more or was it oxygen?

God, I really need to learn it all.

*

Chemistry,

My dad has a majors in it, while my mom has a PG.

But ironically, this is the only subject in which,

I constantly struggle between a ‘C’ and a ‘D’.

So yeah, here I defied the law of heredity

and probably I’m the first one to do so,

in my family history.

*

Chemistry,

No sooner I open the book of this subject,

my palms start getting sweaty,

my heart rate rises,

and my head starts spinning.

No matter how hard I try, it’s a gone case for me.

And I’m sure as hell, I’m gonna fail miserably in it.

*

Comments & reviews · 7
User avatar
felistia
Review
felistia wrote a review Review · Jul 20, 2016

Hi, Felistia here with a review for you on this wonderful day. :D

Nit-picks

Okay so the only real nit-pick that I have is that I can't figure out if you have rhyme scheme. In the first stanza there isn't one, but in the second and third you do seem to have one. Let me show you what I mean.

The word itself is enough, to give me a headache.

And learning the reactivity series,

just feels like, a cherry on top of the cake.


My dad has a majors in it, while my mom has a PG.

But ironically, this is the only subject in which,

I constantly struggle between a ‘C’ and a ‘D’.


So headache and cake sort of rhyme and PG and D sort of rhyme too. I just wanted to ask if this is intentional or if it was by mistake. :D

Grammar and Punctuation

No problems here. :D

Overall thoughts

Theme: Okay so this theme that you have is similar to on of my first poem I wrote called I Hate Math. The difference here is that you delivered it way better. (more on that further down). I could feel your hate for the subject and you described why you disliked it. Finally in the last stanza you get to the point (you're going to fail miserably at it) This gave me a good laugh. :D

Rhythm: Your rhythm was fairly good for the most part except for a few lines which where a bit long or a bit short. I ended up reading these at a different pace compered to the rest. I'm not sure if this was intentional though, because it gave for an interesting rhythm. If you where going for a more smooth rhythm though, then you need to lengthen and shorten some lines so they are round about the same size. :D

Description: There wasn't really much room for visual description here, but you made up for it with sore really strong words that conveyed what the narrator was feeling really well. :D

Title: Well I can't really say much about the title. It basically says what the poem is about, but it's not really that interesting. I'd maybe jazz it up a bit and draw people in with it. :D

Overall it was a great poem and I look forward to the next one. Never stop writing and I hope you have a great day\night. :D

Your friend, Felistia. :D

Yep the lines the rhyming scheme were intentional :)

User avatar
dogsrule5
Comment
dogsrule5 commented Comment · Jul 19, 2016

I really liked this poem, I felt it funny. Personally I like Science, but yes I agree, sometimes it can be confusing, especially chemistry, which I heard tons about. Never been in the class, but I will, and I've heard it's pretty hard.

Keep up the great writing,
Love,
Dogs

Anytime! :P

~Dogs

User avatar
Aley
Review
Aley wrote a review Review · Mar 29, 2016

Hey fangirldivergent46,

I have a lot of respect for the ability you've shown to write and actually say what you want to say. It's really nice to see that you don't have to dilly dally with how to write something "poetically" and you can just get down to the facts: Chemistry is hard. You dislike it. You've also incorporated a lot of use of subject matter which shows your familiarity with the need for specificity in poetry which again, major kudos. <3

Here's a guide to help you get the formatting on YWS down. How to Format Poetry
If you have issues with it, ask around. People will help and a lot of people know how to use it.

For this particular poem I feel like you need to do more metaphor to really get into the feeling of how much you hate chemistry and away from being bland because you're namedropping chemistry things. The poem should be more about your hate for chemistry than the chemistry you hate, so I'd suggest you frame it that way. Use the terms that you hate, but use them in metaphors that express that hate and feelings. You do it best in the last stanza, but it's not quite pushed enough throughout the rest of it so it feels like that stanza should stand alone. In reality, that stanza is what you need to emulate in the rest of your poem.

If you pick a metaphor or a simile for chemistry you're going to have a better time/easier time writing just about that single metaphor and that'll help improve this as well. Hopefully that'll boost you up the next step.

Aley

Thanx for the review. I'll make sure I do better in future poems.

User avatar
TheHatter Review
TheHatter wrote a review Review · Mar 27, 2016

This was a really enjoyable and funny read that made me chuckle once, or twice, or many more times...

You used the different rhymes in a very good way and thus managed to pull off some pretty hilarious ways (I think our humour is on the same page here). I can find any flaws in your grammar either and your typing was very fluent which made it easy to read and not physically painful for the eyes.

Keep up the good work and writing, I'm looking forward to seeing more of your work!

Thank you! Glad you liked my poem :)

User avatar
darkmindedemo
Review
darkmindedemo wrote a review Review · Mar 27, 2016

This was quite funny. I loved it. The struggles of someone being forced to learn something is very well shown here. You used very good descriptions, it was very easy for me to actually see it. And the irony of your character having parents that study chemistry while they struggle with it. Overall I really loved this. It was an enjoyable read. I cannot find something that I personally would change. Good job, keep writing.

Thanks a lot. Chemistry really is a big challenge! XD

User avatar
TZH
Review
TZH wrote a review Review · Mar 27, 2016

Well you are so much irritated of this subject . Actually you are having a phobia of it . May be No wonder as different people different thinking. But you know what I love this subject. I had this in school.and college and I loved experimenting in lab.
Well so now review time....
The nervousness and phobic stage of mind is very well described in your poem. So not to say more only want to say. I like your penning and yes now I can say you are meant to be a writer or poet but not meant to study chemistry. :-) blessings!
.

We'll I don't really have a phobia of this subject, I do struggle a bit in it. God only knows how I'm gonna pass in it this year ;)

TZH replied · Mar 28, 2016

You'll surely score good. Blessings!

TZH replied · Mar 28, 2016

Always :-)

User avatar
RadiantShadow
Comment
RadiantShadow commented Comment · Mar 27, 2016

Co = carbon monoxide
CO = carbon and oxygen

:D haha i loved this poem! I had chemistry for three years so I understand your struggles! don't worry you get a hang of it :D

Well thank you for the description! I always get stick with those! Lol ;)

Haha I was only joking when I wrote them because i used to mix them up to!



To be absolutely certain about something, one must know everything or nothing about it.
— Olin Miller