Apprehension

Hi, DarkPrizm! Lupa here for a shiny review! Let's start...

1) If you want to have a short poem, make its content worth it. This is simple and effective, but nothing really stands out. There are no metaphors to embellish it, and you tell everything to the reader. Although it's pretty nice as it is, make it even better.

2) The ending wasn't very smooth. I know you want it to be short, but adding on an extra line to finish it off won't change very much.

There isn't much to critique since it's so small, but try to improve some points of it. Keep writing!

XOX,
Lupa22

Hi DarkPrizm!

This poem is tiny! It reminds me of the phrase 'big things come in small packages', maybe because of the mention of 'littlest things' and 'package.'

It definitely leaves a lot to speculate on, I think even though it doesn't contain many words there is a lot written between the lines.

What I do wonder, though, is about the grammar construction, and whether low self esteem is the package, or whether it comes with it. In honesty I kind of like it being that vague. It's an interesting poem, and very tiny. I'd love to see how it would fit with a larger work like a series or an anthology.

As for something to improve... probably the title. For stories and novels the title is an indication of what it is, but in a three line poem a title is a quarter of its total volume, and you can do some amazing things with it. Try experimenting a bit.

I like this, keep up the good work =]

Well, this was very short and the very simple, yet with quite a punch. Jealousy can definitely stem from an overabundance of low self esteem and more often than not jealous feelings can be directed towards small things that have little to no significance. The fact that this is labeled under "Romantic" leaves me thinking that part of this jealousy is manifested through an unrequited love for someone whose heart is in the clutches of someone other than you. This low self-esteem probably comes from blaming yourself for the unrequited love. You feel it is a fault of yours somehow and you are left feeling that maybe you are not attractive enough or you waited until it was too late for that "right moment." I am guessing that the briefness was intended, but I can't say i am disinclined to suggest that more can be said. I'd like to read more of this "low self-esteem". Show how this low self-esteem plagues you with its thorny grasp. Show how this jealousy manifests itself and whether you try to bottle it up or try leave subtle hints of its presence. Just a few things to consider. Hope to read more.