Trust.

Like posters' before me said capitalize your "I's".
This was a really great poem, very straight forward. If you really read it and let it sink in, I think this poem could relate to alot of people.

Good Work! Keep it up

I mean it i to the point but I agree that there needs to be a bit more imagery. Not a lot cause if I a correct you are going for down to earth abstract. And please capatilize your I's. Especially because it s dramatic fiction.

Hey Creative!

Decent start. As some of the other reviewers mentioned, I think this could use a good deal of building on. Right now, you're giving us a few pieces of this, when I feel we should have a story to fill this up.

This whole broken-trust thing-- tell us, what led to this? What caused this, and what came after? Don't tell us in narrative lines, dear, write these out poetically. Poetry isn't just short lines and fragments of the story-- it's the whole story, and you have the freedom to write it all creatively.

Like Elle said, capitalize the I's. I is a proper pronoun, so it must always be capitalized, dear. Don't end your lines with periods-- stanza this, group related lines together and use commas and semicolons, at some points.

And like Bob says, paint the picture. Don't give us one side of the argument. Give us both in a general sense so that we can relate to the person in point.

June

Okay then. SSo helpful! x)

You need more images, less abstraction. Try thinking of a way to paint the picture without describing what the picture is about. Perhaps add some narrative elements, if that helps: character, scene. Think of a poem as a portrait of a moment or a scene.

First Impressions

The first thing I felt after reading this was that it was lacking in actual feeling. Each line feels so emotionless and dry. With all of the "I Statements" the reader is left without reason to care. "I did this, I did that" it's all very dull.

Suggestions

Create a scenario where the reader gets to see what mistakes you've made, tell us the story of what you did wrong, simply telling us is not enough. Effective imagry will be the greatest asset to your writing, I promise. Rather than telling us "I was bad" show us with an actual story.

Punctuation

To put it very kindly, yours needs work. Punctuation can make or break your work, and right now it's certainly not doing it a favor. I suggest reading Suzanne's article and picking up a few pointers.

Hope this helps

OverEasy

As said already, capitalize your I's, and you'll be all set.

I really like how you are very straight foward in your poem, with one certain message that you want getting across to your readers.

I also like the fact that it's short, and didn't bore me to death. There wasn't any really long stanza's with descriptive words that didn't flow.. it was just right.

I think it's perfect.

You need to capitalize your i's. Sorry, that's my pet peeve talking.
But I like it. It's simple and straight forward.
Sorry this is so short.