I saw a woman drown in an ocean of insecurity.
I saw a kitten curl herself in a bed of roses.
I saw a man grip onto the golden key.
I saw a glass shatter beneath his feet.
I saw a book gather dust on a shelf of ivory.
I saw a child stare through the bars of protection, security and innocence.
I saw him stab the sword of betrayal into my heart.
I saw myself bow down and accept it.
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139,496 Literary Works • 672,584 Reviews
Hey!
I really do love this poem. I get a big sense of something good never lasts. I'm not sure if that is exactly what you intended on doing, but as the reader that's what I take from this. I do like the poem title but some other suggestions are, "Eye Sore" or you could be fancy and do "Rien n'est éternel" (which means nothing lasts forever). These are just suggestions, don't feel like you have to take them into consideration. Either way enjoyed reading the poem and could relate to it in many ways. The poem has a sad and powerless tone to it, this intrigues me even more because you are able to use this to your advantage and create a story that accurately can show emotions like crushed or devastated. Keep writing! I would love to read more! Also great job with the imagery, I have a brain that likes to imagine the words I'm reading as a movie, and your poem did just that!