Face cradled in his palms,
He stood beside her.
***
She did not notice him at first,
For she was accustomed to a different boy.
***
The problematic, defensive and humourous boy.
Not this one, who's shoulders sank
***
As she felt him shed away every last drop of their youth,
For preservation into a well of their history.
***
Be it tears of angst, anger or amenity...she'd never know.
She stood, gaping at the revelation that unfolded before her eyes.
***
In an instant, he was gone.
No words of farewell or goodbye were spoken.
***
With that, they were parted by years,
Like splatters of an angry artist's paintbrush.
***
Now, she wanders the streets she'd once conquered.
Thinking of him.
***
Musing the mere idea of crossing his mind,
Like he so often did hers.
***
Every few years, she catches glimpses of the man he grew into.
But he never saw her.
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Hey! Peiji here for a review!
Honestly, this is heartbreaking. The idea of growing apart from someone you love is tragic, and you convey that feeling well.
That being said, I noticed some mistakes. First off, in the line "Not this one, who's shoulders sank" "who's" should be replaced with "whose."
Now these next two things are really just me being nit picky. I'm somewhat obsessed with the oxford comma, so the lines "The problematic, defensive and humourous boy" and "Be it tears of angst, anger or amenity...she'd never know." bothered me slightly, due to the lack of it. However, the use of the oxford comma is really up to the author, so leaving it out is perfectly fine. Pretty much just take these two comments as a suggestion, not a rule.
Anyway, I hope this helped!
Thanks for sharing this poem about a person who suddenly seems to change personality and then leaves forever. The person is identified as a boy who suddenly appears behind the speaker with face cradled in his hands and behsaving in a way he'd never behaved before. She noticed that he seemed depressed. He leaves and she catches glimpss of him as an adult. The reason for their separation ios not provided. But rthe effect it had on her was negative since she wanders the streets she had once conwquered, The nature of the conquest isn't explained. Neither why she wanders. I felt a great sadness and perplexity in the way that the speaker describes this which is intentional. A very dramatic depiction that kept me reading though I didn't understand certain parts.
suggestion
Fewer stanza breaks would make a smoother read as would not capitalizing the first letter of each new line. I realize that is the traditional way to do it. But tradition is not always the best way to go.