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125,021 Literary Works • 672,740 Reviews
Hi there, Brigadier
Lehmanf here with a short review. I hope it finds you well.
First Impressions
This is a very intriguing piece of poetry. I see it strongly resembles your poem "empty pages".
Interpration
This is quite a strong sentence. It contains emotions like desire, hope, sorrow, anger and a feeling of being a failure. Of trying and never winning, always staying in the same spot as if in jail when playing monopoly. Always playing the dice, and giving bail but always shut down as soon as it started and sometimes just sent backwards.
This line is quite intriguing because in actuality there is no such thing as a beginning and end in subjective reality which is the way we percept the world. If I were to disagree that the last word of this poem is not the last word then it could not be part of the objective reality or concrete reality. Because humans disagree this means that nothing could possibly be in objective reality...
Therefore the concrete reality is just an empty space because I can not guarantee everyone around is actually real. This means that people, plants, nothing can be found in objective reality, not even yourself. This means that reality isn't real because it is an interwoven mess of subjective realities. Meaning everything, including you are subjective and only live as a figment of perception that is not actually rooted in reality. This means there can not possibly to an end in reality because there is no concrete reality which means reality isn't real so we need to root ourselves in a different idea of what life is. This is known as Viewer Subjectivity and you're poem strongly resembles it for me.
Overall
This is a very thought-provoking poem and I thoroughly enjoyed mulling it over.
Have a fantastic day
Lehmanf
This is quite interesting to me, the point that this chapter is so short but then again you can make so much emotion out of it and so much Cliffhangers out of this and so much feeling out of this and so much amazement and achievement out of this is so beautiful. This is well and beautifully written, which that is one of the things a poem needs to live oh, so great job by the way. I'm looking forward to seeing the next chapter of this.
This is quite interesting!
It’s a bit short,so I don’t have much criticism. The only criticism I have is that you were quite vague about what is ‘it’. Is ‘it’ an animal, an object, an idea? I need more details on that.
Anyways, I’m looking forward to see the next chapter of this!
Hi @Ladybird I am here to do a review on your really really short poem.
okay so first of you said at the top before you really said any think there was this at the top of some words.
Okay so you said that this is chapter one that sounds weird, for it is not even a chapter, its like four lines.
4
well this is to true because nor do I, I don't go any were.
okay I am getting what you mean but then on the other end I am a bit confused, I think if you mad this a bit longer then it would be grate,
Suggestions
it never went anywhere.
it has no beginning and
therefore, it will have no
end.
So therefore I was never born.
you never sore me,
walking on the face of this earth
you never so a single smile
coming from me
you never sore me,
slam there door,
right in your face.
So this is all that I can say, if I came across as being to harsh I am really sorry pleas will you for give me, So keep up the good poem writing your doing grate.
@EagleFly out to seek and kill
Dear LadyBird,
This is quite simple. Though, as my nine year old cousin says, "It's the devil, because it never had a life with a woman and it never had children and it's not real." She also had to add "demons are poop heads. Dey are mean."
ANyWaYs, it's definitely neat. I'd love to hear what inspired you to make this.
- B