The Hesitant Spider

This makes me think about spiders. Gosh, I hate spiders. *shudders* anyway, this is a great poem! It's creepy and I like that quality. The way you choose to break your lines works well with this! You build up the creepiness, then you reach the end and the speaker "stop[s] and wonder[s] :What have I become?" This is such an excellent way to end this poem. It makes the reader ponder. You can really compare this poem to what happens in the world around us and apply it to various instance/events.
For just writing this poem on a whim you did a good job! Better than the dumb haiku I wrote on a whim haha

Hi!
This poem is absolutely chilling! I can imagine the thoughts of a spider catching prey. But to me, it seems more like human interaction, which only lends to the dark feel of the piece. I loved the lines and the kind of halting feel you create when you have the I and the You separated from the rest of the poem. I can also feel like if this was about a human murderer, how they would think. I especially liked the line , "What have I become?" because I feel like some people don't know why they became the way they are and question themselves. The only advice I have is to think about the lines, " But when I stop and see you writhing in agony,
I stop and wonder" You already stopped in the previous line, so I thought it a bit strange to stop again. I know they are different kinds of stopping, but it was a bit off. Anyway, that's just my opinion. Overall, this piece was wonderful! Thank you for sharing, and keep writing!
-Storygirl95

This is a rather fantastic piece. I love how this can be used in many situations other than the for lack of a better term, murdering process of the arachnid. First and foremost I love the detail in description to the predatory like killing of the victim. I feel it describes it rather well. But when you say "sugar spun words" it makes me feel like this can be related to a human murder as well. Studies have shown that some of the best murders have happened because they are smooth talkers and know how to lure people to an area of uncertainty. When it goes into "the trap laid in front of you" same thing the spider or human is the trap himself ready to inflict the pain and suffering upon the poor victim. Then finally the ending i love the "I stop and wonder; what have i become?" I love this line i have used it before it makes the murder connect with the reader because it makes you feel like the small ounce of human morality in it/him/her is still there because they ask themselves the question but then gets quickly dissolved as they continue what they have to do anyway. The only thing i would have changed was the "Beating you, breaking you," line. Personally i would have put "Beating and breaking you" so that it flows a bit nicer but thats just me. Nonetheless a fantastic and beautifully written piece. Keep writing

Someone's been reading a lot of Poe.

This poem was really good. You were able to effectively freak me out. But other than the first few lines, it wasn't really… poetic.

You used very simple words and simple sentences. Try using some more figurative language. The beginning is a perfect example of what the rest should be like.

Other than that, this poem was great. I would write a longer review, but there's hardly anything to critique, it was so good!