Computer

I feel like nothing in this poem is working towards the whole. It's short enough to be cohesive, but thematically it doesn't compute with me. I suppose the title is close to being cold and calculative just because it is one word, although that word really does not have any bearing on the rest of the text. The text concerns itself mostly with trying to make clever allusions to a word processor than actual commentary on technology's effect upon human relationships. This is detrimental to both the title (it focuses on the word processor, not a computer), and to the theme. The root of the technological issue is not that John can't get off Facebook. Technological and human relationships have far vaster and more subliminal implications than that, and I think it would be far more interesting to explore those issues more than just the everyday suffering of a guy who cannot get off the internet.

Hahaha! This is brilliant, easy to miss but once you get it it's not just witty but brilliant. So many folk throw away their lives before a computer screen, and it is a real tragedy of life, because that's no way to live, like your poem states "The document titled “Life” already exists".

This was one of the most interesting ways I've seen this tragedy handled through literature. Smart, succinct and powerful.

"But I’ll never be good enough,"

That is frankly how many of these recluses feel, and think about life. A scary thing which they aren't ready for, and never will be ready for.

"(Installing update 1,247 of 2,683)"

This is smart, very smart. It captures all the hours wasted away by the fictional character in your poem before his computer. Although he whines and complains about how mundane his life is, he has contributed directly to its mundanity, and he doesn't even seem to realize he's to blame, when he finishes off with: "So I’ll just sit right here, and wonder forever."

Thankfully he'll get up and live a little now that his pastime is "Not Responding".

Wait, what is this? Did you write this exactly like this or did your computer do this? I know it somehow fits the title, computer, but this is like your entire computer did not work properly. This is weird...............

But funny though, if you actually intended to write it like this. But try avoiding it or people will think your computer did not work and this is a bug. So nobody will read it.

I think you should type it out properly or copy and paste. I never actually attach a file because the Young Writers Society Publishing Centre does not really support these type of files, although there is a button to it...

~~~Tay01.