Started with a smile
They both were fragile
Then a wave
Lead by more waves
Peeping plus eye contacts
They were not perfect
Her face so flawless
Just like a goddess
Got him tripping
Falling like a droplet
She struggled with words
When he strummed the chords
Her heart ran fast
Wishing time would last
Neither could express their love
Nor could they ask above
Words were priceless
So was their shyness
Hiding their senses
Time flew by
Chances were striking
And still no tie
And so he’s gone
Leaving one mark
His name written in art
On her broken heart
She’d always wait
With so much faith
That he’ll come back
So there’ll be luck
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140,310 Literary Works • 673,081 Reviews
Hi, Becky2421! RagingLive here! I'm working on reviewing a few of the folks from Team Tardis, so let's get started!
The way that you formatted your title seemed a bit odd to me. I want to suggest that you either use no capitalization at all or use proper capitalization throughout. Here is what each option will look like:
First of all, your formatting was very unique. Not often do I see someone place all of their phrases in bold so this caught my attention right off. I do have a few things I want to address, however, so bear with me!
Formatting is very key in poetry - even above rhyming and rhythm. I'm sure that I will mention it a lot, just a forewarning.
1) "a chance not taken"
2) "A Chance Not Taken"
The opening is a bit confusing because I have no subject in the beginning. What started with a smile? 'It' did. So let's say, "It started with a smile" If you are concerned about rhythm here as much as rhyming, then we need to even off the next sentence. Maybe we could say, "They both were so fragile" or "They both were very fragile"
'Then a wave' is a bit short going with the preceded format. I would say "And then a wave".
'Eye contacts' would be like vision correcting lenses. Contact lenses. We need poem correcting contacts for this phrase so knock off the plural of 'contacts' like so:
"Peeping plus eye contact"
The last phrase is repetitive and while repetition is good for some poems, it isn't fitting in here. Maybe if you stick with the 'tripping' theme, we could say, "Falling like a droplet"
What do you say that we just go for it and put a 'but' at the beginning of the last quoted phrase here? This is what it would look like:
"Words were priceless / But so was their shyness"
The good thing about this is that it doesn't throw off the rhythm while making this easier to read! Yay!
The ending was just a little bit - off. 'Back' and 'luck' don't rhyme, and you also started messing with your formatting by not issuing line breaks anymore. I really did love this poem, though, and I hope you will continue writing so that I will get to see more of your work.
As always, keep writing and keep on smiling!!
~RagingLive
First of all RagingLive, You keep on smiling cause i have no reason to smile (a lot that is). Haha jokes..
Okay thanks for your lengthy review. Obviously your here to gain points (everyone is). Some of your suggestions were unnecessary though, i don't want to point out which (not to be rude, just the the truth).
But...have to admit that the repetition knocking off is helpful.
And the formatting too! Thanks i forgot to group the last few stanzas. (guilty!)
Will do that
Thanks for filling up my review though,
Have a review-filled day!
Glad I could help!
Sometimes the advice reviewers might give doesn't always align with what the author is thinking, but I think it is a courtesy if the reader points out what doesn't make sense to them. 
Happy Review Day and best of luck in all of your writing journeys!
~RagingLive
Hello!
I really liked your poem. I think the choice of words is great and the usage of rhymes is amazing.
I think rhyme patterns are really important for a poem to be catchy and to have a natural flow so I can say you did an amazing job there! Congratulations!
I loved the beginning, but I also loved the ending!
Another great thing I noticed is the usage of simple and short lines, and the run-on lines.
That is like on top of everything!
Great job!
I loved it!
All the best.
Andrijana.
Cheers girl! <3
The poem is beautifully writtwn. Simple language and the alluring rhyming scheme compelled me to read it aloud like a song. The meaning which it imparts is heart touching. One can easily relate it with his or her story. Especially the last lines, which were amazing!
Chances were striking
And still no tie
And so he’s gone
Leaving one mark
His name written in art
On her broken heart
She’d always wait
With so much faith
That he’ll come back
So there’ll be luck..
Well done in writing
I see you've got your skin under my compelling poem...haha okay thanks for your comment. And also thats my fav part too
cheers
Hahaha..! Much obliged.
Hey there!
This is something extra ordinary... I can read it so many times.. the rhythm of the poem is divine. I can feel it because this is what my case is.. Shyness occupies a big part of me!1 thing i would correct is-
"Chances were striking
And still no tie"
You should try rewriting it, to increase its impact.
that's all..
And now,
"Her face so flawless
Just like a goddess
Got him tripping
Dropping like a droplet"
Oh my! I am in love with these lines.. You nailed it.. Well done.. Keep writing.
Thanks will consider your recommendation! I see what you mean by increasing the impact which you were referring to the rhythm and flow of words.
Wow! Great poem! I liked how it rhymed, but it had a good flow too. The meaning really sticks after you read it. There were just a few things that I would change.
First, maybe you could separate the rhyming couplets into stanzas to make it clear that they're supposed to be rhyming. That's really all I have to say about the rhymes, because I thought that they were all very descriptive, and they weren't rhymes that you see everyday.
The second thing is that I didn't really see the connection between the first stanza and the second one. In the first, it said that they were not perfect, but in the second, it described her as a goddess. Did it mean that they were not perfect together?
Other than that, I think the poem was perfect. It showed very clearly what was happening between them, and the comparisons were very good. Great work!
@acm about the first stanza and second stanza thingy, the line 'they were not perfect' meant not by appearance but their relationship between each other. But thanks anyways!Cheers!
I understand now. Thanks for the explanation!