Dear Me

by Authorian

Published July 16, 2015

16+ Language Violence

In Short Stories

Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language and violence.

Dear Me,

Why don't you just end it? You hate this. You hate everything. Just do it. Jump off that bridge. Put your finger to that trigger. Open that pill bottle. Pick one. Any one. WHY ARE YOU SO GOD DAMN AFRAID?

WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE? YOU USELESS, COWARDICE, FEARFUL BITCH! WHAT'S KEEPING YOU HERE?

Oh, that's right. Fear. Of the pain.

You're afraid it'll hurt. Hitting the water, smacking the pavement, pulling the trigger, tightening the knot, overdosing the pills.

You hurt anyway, so there's nothing to be afraid of, is there?

THERE'S NOTHING HERE FOR YOU BUT PAIN AND HATE. AT LEAST IF YOU DIED PEOPLE WOULD CARE FOR ONCE.

People only care when you're dead.

Goodbye.

Comments & reviews · 5
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Ghaylle22
Review
Ghaylle22 wrote a review Review · Jul 22, 2015

I had watched a lot of movies about this scene. I had read a lot of books about this same thing. But actually killing yourself when you're too depressed and feel that nobody cares about you anymore is not the best solution you will do. Let's say you already had a problem and then you're gonna make another problem by killing yourself, it's not best way to solve the problem. It will just make the situation even worst. Killing yourself does not mean being strong. You are too weak to face your problem that's why you try to commit suicide. That's reality. And everybody must admit it. In your line you said, "You are hurt anyway so there's nothing to be afraid of, is there?" Actually, there is. When you committed suicide, do you think everything will be okay? Remember there is HELL. Ask yourself first, where are you going when you die? That's the question you must know by this time. There are million ways to be happy and enjoy life. So, don't waste your life because of a certain problem. Make your problems problem your own problem. And remember God is bigger than our problems. So, why not talk to him and pray? Lay your burdens unto Him. We will find perfect peace in God's arms.

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ThatAndalite
Review
ThatAndalite wrote a review Review · Jul 19, 2015

Beautiful, but really sad. You really think people only care when you're dead, but really people care all the time. I'm sorry you feel/felt this way, and I've actually been through the same. I've overdosed once before, and it wasn't fun.. I've been through four hospitals and at least a dozen therapists. If you ever need to talk, let me know. I'll be here. But remember, it's the fear of the pain that keeps us alive. You don't know what it'll be like when you're dead.

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tabapugh52 Review
tabapugh52 wrote a review Review · Jul 16, 2015

Hello!
My name is Tabatha,

I just wanted to start by saying this piece is an incredible thing, I am 19 years old and I have been through what you are feeling. The numerous times I have gotten angry at myself over worrying about pain or loss over ending everything when I am already dealing with so much made me so angry.

The way you have written this is fantastic, The emotions and trauma you have weaved into your words really do come across. Emotion is one of the strongest things to be able to write about and most of all I love the way you have written it in a letter to yourself.

However I can give some words of comfort in saying as you get older it does become a little easier. I cant deny I don't still have those feelings or emotions but you learn to see past them and actually you CAN do anything you want to with your future so do not be afraid to jump into it all arms flailing as you go! :)

I have and now I am on my way to a life I love.

Keep writing and again the emotion you brought across was amazing!

xx

Thanks so much for the review! I wrote this about a month ago, and I can say that, I have gotten just a little better since then. My suicidal thoughts have dwindled down a lot and life seems less pointless. I can look forward to the future a lot more now. One way I thought I could do that was by sharing this letter. Glad you liked it!

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AnnaGrace24
Review
AnnaGrace24 wrote a review Review · Jul 16, 2015

Hi. My name is Anna-Grace and I am 14 too. I know the pain and the toll that depression can take on a person. My best friend struggled with it for a long time and she still struggles today. I know that you don't know me, but I am always here to listen if you just need to vent about anything or just someone to talk to. I may not know you, but I care. I know I might sound kinda creepy, it's just I am a really caring person and I have a heart for people who consider suicide and people who are depressed. So keep writing. This really gave an insight into depression and suicide awareness so thank you.
-AG

Thanks so very much for the offer. I might take you up on it in future.

You're welcome. And I'm here anytime

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MargoSeuss
Review
MargoSeuss wrote a review Review · Jul 16, 2015

Margo here for a review. Lots of emotion depicted in this letter. Writing is a good way to express yourself, especially when you've got negative thoughts you need to get out. I can feel the author's sense of hopelessness. Very intense. I hope this author gets help!

This letter shows the toll depression takes on a person. The delusion that there is no one who cares and no one to talk to. It's horribly sad. Your letter reminds us that people who are suicidal are ill.

This is a very serious topic to write about. The letter could have been longer, perhaps gone into detail about this person's life. You could add a mix of other emotions into the equation. Guilt is a common feeling associated with depressed/ suicidal people.

Overall, this increases suicide awareness as well as mental illness. Keep writing and loving yourself. I don't know about anyone else, but it gives me comfort knowing my emotions are just the result of brain chemicals.

A good work is never finished.

--MS

Thanks for the review!
This is actually written by me... and directed at me. I don't really want to go into the details here...
But I wrote this with no intention of ever sharing this or anything at a really low moment (about a month ago) and so I felt it best not to change it if I was going to share it. Thanks for the encouragment. I've been trying to heal <3
Good luck in your own struggles,
Authorian



Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna lay down and become a tomato for a while.
— RokitaVivi