For sale, fifteen memories, dating, break-up not included.
For sale, one memory, victory.
For sale, four hundred and seventy-two memories, lifetime.
The list went on and on. Hundreds of memories for sale to the common public. But everyone knew that the real market was to the billionaires who had nothing better to do than experience another lifetime. If you choose to sell a memory, you forget it forever, and you get fifty percent of the sales earnings. No one quite knows for sure where the rest of the money goes.
The Memory Center has sliding glass doors that open into a large, extravagant room. The ceiling stretching upwards for what feels like miles. A long desk, spanning over a hundred feet, is set up opposite of the doors. Behind it dozens of sales clerks attend to the lines and lines of people, from poor to poorer, trying to get a few pennies for their memories. The happy ones sell better, but some of the sad ones do just as well.
“Welcome to the Memory Center, how can I help you?” A clerk with a soft face, blonde bob haircut, and vibrant red lipstick adressed the girl who’d just come to the front of the line.
The girl shifted uneasily from foot to foot, looking at the ground so her oily brown hair fell over her face. “I’d like to make a sale,” she said, her voice small.
“Who will it be paid out to?” the lady asked, tapping on her screen.
“The Kendricks, we- they- live downtown,” the girl replied, looking up and taking in a deep breath.
“Is this them?” the lady asked, showing the girl a picture of a small family on the screen.
The girl nodded.
“What memory will you be selling today dear?”
“Um, I don’t know-” the girl seemed unsure.
The lady sighed and smiled slightly. “A failure? A love? An argument?" she pressed. Noticing the girl shrinking at her urging, she relaxed her shoulders and took a deep breath. "What is the memory?”
“Erm, well, I don’t know if it’s that simple.” The girl tried to blink back tears. “Momma- Momma said all of them-”
The clerk's eyes softened as a wave of understanding flooded over her. “Are you sure? You should at least keep one."
The girl shook her head as she wrung her small, dirty hands. “No, every last one. I don’t want to remember-” she stopped herself and started shaking her head vigourously. “I don’t want to remember any of this.” She sobbed as her face wretched up and she started to cry.
"You know that a complete wipe causes brain collapse? We're required to make sure you know."
The girl nodded.
The lady bit her lip. “Listen, I hate to ask this but- how old are you? It’s important for the-” she took a deep breath and closed her eyes, composing herself. “It’s important for the sale.”
“I’m, I’m…” the girls voice started to rise in pitch as she began to weep. “I’m eleven, next week," she said.
The lady closed her eyes to calm herself, pursing her vibrant blood lips. “Ten years old," she whispered to herself, shaking her head. “Alright," she said. She opened a small door in the desk, allowing the girl to walk through. “Come... come along then. All you have to do is hold this, okay?” she soothed, handing the girl a small metal disk the size of a quarter. As the girl walked through the doorway the lady felt a pang of guilt. Because she couldn't stop the girl, only watch her last moments. She would be the last one this girl talked to, and it broke her heart.
The girl walked through the door, her trembling hands grasped the disk, and then she stared at the larger door behind the clerk's chair. Her breathing was eratic as she asked the lady one last question.
“Will it hurt?” she squeezed the words in between her gasps for air.
The trembling voice broke the clerk, and she got down from her chair, kneeling on the ground so as to meet the girls eyes. “No, no of course not love. It won’t hurt, you’ll be fine.” She brushed the hair from the girls face and smiled half-heartedly. On a whim, she gave the girl a bone crushing hug, and to her slight surprised, the girl hugged earnestly back.
“Thank you," the girl whispered in her ear.
“Don’t mention it," the lady said, patting the girls hair as she blinked back tears. She pulled back and held the girl at arms length. “Go on then," she said, pushing the girl towards the door. Once the girl was through, it was all the clerk could manage to lock her in.
The girl glanced around the room, it was pure white, with a single chair in the middle. She sat down and looked at the disk. Before she set it on her head, she squeezed her eyes shut and relived her best memory. And so the warmth of that clerks embrace flooding her senses till the moment it and everything before was forcfully ripped away.
The clerk let out a gasp as the girls scream of pain filled the air, barely audible through the soundproofed room. The lady bit her lip, for she knew the scream was one of pure agony, since normally you couldn’t hear them at all. She picked up the sister disk from the desk, the light had changed from red to blue, and, bracing herself for a moment, she squeezed it in her hand.
A rare visit to the local park, playing with the other children of the neighborhood as the sun went down, a smile on her mothers face.
A hard earned dinner, filling her stomach pleasently after days without.
A painful smack, causing the clerk to wince in pain, as the mother loses her temper.
Another night of crying.
Another time thinking of dying.
Another curse from her spiteful mother.
Another caring, hugging brother.
Another empty stomach, one only worth remembering because it was the last.
Walking to the Memory Center, talking to the clerk, the hug that meant everything to the girl. The memories cut off right before the girl entered the room.
All of this in barely a moment, the clerk blinked back tears, feeling the pain of the dead girl who gave up everything because she dared not defy her mother.
And, somewhere downtown, the Kendricks sat in silence over one of many meals their sister had brought them, none of them voicing the truth of the price as the mother ate happily, as if a weight had been lifted from her back. The others shot glances of masked hatred and fear at her, wandering who would be next.
For sale, one lifetime, poor condition. The clerk stopped typing, and blinking back another tear, fixed the listing.
For sale, a life half lived, as innocent as the sun itself.
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125,008 Literary Works • 672,820 Reviews
Wow. It took me some time to take everything I just read in before I could start this review. But that was amazing. At the end of the story I got shivers down my back. You did a very good job writing this story, kudos to you. It was short, even for a short story, but the length is perfect here, and the story is great.
First of all, I love the idea behind this. To think that we could live in a world where we sell our memories to others who can only pay to get those emotions is a very powerful thought. I especially like how you start the story, listing the different kinds of memories you could find in the Memory Center. Also, your character is well done and we understand how she feels. Most important of all, we believe it.
Also, the end is impressive. I agree with McMourning, the loop you make with the beginning of the story makes it so much better, and the fact that the clerk let her feelings take over to fix the listing makes the reader feel the story even more.
The only thing that you should change is this, near the end of the story:
Apart from that, the story is perfect. Once again, congratulations on this, and I'm looking forward to reading more things by you. Keep on writing!
One of the best short stories I have read. The characters so beautifully described in so few words, the plot organized, the whole story, amazing.
The concept is Intriguing enough, but the ease and fluidity of your writing seals the deal.
I judge a story by how it makes you feel different at the end of it. You, have succeeded at making me feel the pain of 7 people in less than 7000. Words.. Amazing.
Please keep writing!
Thanks for the kind review! This is by far my favorite short story that I've written, and I really appreciate all the support its gotten %uD83D%uDE0A%uD83D%uDE0A
This was short and simple but satisfactory.
I didn't know where it was going in the beginning, which is good. It wasn't predictable.
I also like that we get to see the memories and that these memories caused a reaction in the clerk. The clerk at first seemed kind of cold, unconcerned about the 10 year old, but near the end she is blinking back tears and it makes her seem more human.
I didn't like that the girl is 10 years old but the clerk just lets her go ahead with suicide basically. If this were to happen today, the clerk would need a permission slip signed by the parent. Perhaps, even the mother should be there...
It's confusing to me whether the girl is making the decision or whether the mom is forcing her into it. The girl says she doesn't want to remember and seems to have come to the memory center alone. This would take a strong, courageous ten-year-old. But the ending makes it seem more like the mother had forced the daughter to die so she could make money. I think that, if this is the case, we might see the mother dragging the daughter to the memory center and interacting with the clerk, telling the clerk she wants to sell her daughter's memories, and that she knows her daughter will die.
Additionally, I am confused by how much money can be made from selling one's memories. In the beginning, you say, "get a few pennies for their memories. But the family seems to have made a lot more than a few pennies because they're eating "one of many meals their sister had brought them." If each memory only earns a few pennies, a ten-year-old shouldn't be worth dozens of dollars.
"Wandering" in the third to last paragraph should be "wondering."
I also like how the ending parallels the wording of the beginning. It brings it to a nice close.
Thank you for the review!
I like your interest in the story. As far as the deal with the girl going alone, the mother is making her, but she isn't going to try and turn back. The reason a permission slip was unneeded is because while it does cause brain collapse, they do not die. They go into a temporary state of incoherentness and then slowly begin to piece together the worlds functionings with the information they are given. They're trained and then put to work. They slowly become more human as they remember how to be human (like in the case of the clerk). Once this happens they're brains are re-wiped. No one really knows this who cares to do anything about it. I was going to include the clerk being taken away because she needs a new brain wipe (in the eyes of the higher ups). I hope that makes sense. I plan on converting this idea into a novel in the future, this was just me experimenting with it and I wanted some opinions.
Also, about the whole 'pennies' thing. A single memory (which are measured by the amount of electrical charges the brain sets off too remember or view them) earns an average of 20 cents a week for five weeks before being lost in the system. However, a complete lifetime sells for more, and for longer, and more people buy them (especially the rich) so that girl probably earned enough from her memories to feed her family for about two months, if not longer if it became a popular buy.
I hope this answered your questions!
Authorian