Happy Unhappy Ending: Prologue *the old one*

Hey guys, thanks for all the sweet reviews!

- I just found out that I posted this in the SHORT STORIES section, so as quickly as I can I will have it moved to the NOVEL section. I will keep this though, because of those sweet comments

The idea of the prologue is good, you just want to be careful what you include in it. You've done well in keeping the mystery but you also need to take care because you are in danger of repeating yourself. Whilst the tortured soul of a character introducing his story is a good hook, it can begin to seem a little cliché.
Think to yourself; do you really need a prologue? Will it add something to the story that cannot be told throughout your chapters?

That aside, the front cover looks really well done. Good job!

I love the cover you did and the mirror in the background, I think it works really well.
Even though the prologue was rather short I think it was well written and very mysterious. It also makes me want to read the stroy so good job.
I really like the name as well, its different!

Keep it up
Chels

Hi there!

First I wanted to comment on the cover art you did. It's great! After reading this prolouge and the little synopsis you gave us, it seems perfect. The darkness gives it that mysterious feel and gives you the idea that something bad is going on. The mirror in the background also gives off that mystery feel. It blends into the background, so you can barely tell it's there (this is a good thing!). But when you find it, you find yourself thinking about it. Why is it there? Who's looking in it?

I really don't have much to say about the prolouge because it's so short. This isn't necessarily a bad thing if you can cram all your information into a couple paragraphs, which you did. It may be short, but it was really good! You took everything you needed to tell us and condensed it. You've kept me guessing, wondering what's going to happen next.

Great job with this! Keep writing!

I liked the prologue, it was mysterious, and made me wan to read the story! The cover was great, I don't think the 'py' in happy in faded, it might be Princessofdarkness's configuration, but I saw it very well, without being faded.

Prologue


Tony Centered, maybe?



Leaving town was not the mistake, leaving her there was. All alone with nothing but the memories haunting her.

But I couldn’t stay. Couldn’t live in that place where so much bad had happened, where life had been started only to witness other lives ending.

And I couldn’t take her with me. That was the only thing that was worse than leaving her, the only thing that would hurt her even more. Because I didn’t know how to take care of her, didn’t know how to be the person she had seen in me the whole time.

I was not her hero - I was no one's hero - so leaving her was the only choice I had.