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141,299 Literary Works • 674,334 Reviews
I've reviewed your picture first, of Joy and Tony , so now I cant wait to read and find out what happens between her and Tony !!! really good !!!!!!
I'm back! I don't know why I've decided to follow this novel. But apparently I have so here we are.
This was much longer than the othe bits I've read so kudos to you on that.
There were a few grammatical errors here, but I think you only need to read through it to find them. My main issue with what you've written is that it appears to be a big info-dump. Especially at the beginning, you feed us a lot of background information and whilst it's essential for us to know when reading the story, perhaps you could consider dealing it out in smaller doses? It would be much easier to cope with that way.
This is a good, strong chapter. If you read through it, you may notice a few grammatical errors, but I like it. Joy's parents carelessness concerns me; I can't believe her father would let her go out even though he knew she would be getting drunk. Then again, I do know some people with parents like that. It's sad, but it's the truth.
Anyway, good job and keep writing!
I liked
Keep writting it! I'm going into highschool in a year so im kind of scared about it, becuase I know some of my friends will get into bad things and I don't want to be like that. I like the story so far. Im going to keep reading if you keep writing!