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137,488 Literary Works • 672,036 Reviews
Hey there! Icy here to review!
I'm not quite sure this constitutes as a chapter but I suppose that some are like this and providing that your others are longer (which I will hopefully go back to read soon) this isn't really a problem.
I would rearrange this, the wording just sounds a little off. Try 'When the house was quiet once again' I think it just flows a little better.
Other than that you just need to focus a little more on your sentence structure as I found most of these were constructed in a similar way. Try for some variation.
No real grammer or spelling issues here so well done on that front!
This is an amazing story the punchline in great and your characters are so well described and detailed i would love to see more of your work please keep writing i love this story you should send it to an editor i would would totally buy it. You are truley gifted with writing please keep making more chapters i would be much abliged if you did so XD! Please check out my stories if you have time thank you and i love the title it fits so well with the story the puncation could use some work but other than that you are good XD!