Psychic chapter four

by AnimalQueen

Published March 15, 2018

12+ Violence

In Horror

Blood painted the grass red. I stood there, numb, as people ran to the little girl who had fallen. "STELLA!" Cried the girl's mom. That was when I snapped out of it. I grabbed my phone and dieled 911. 

"Hello?" I asked hesitantly. Quick as a flash, panic attacked me again.

"Yes?" Said the operator. "What's your emergency?"

"A little girl on the playground hurt her head!" I told her.

"Okay dear, try and stay calm. Where are you?" She asked me.

I told her.

"Alright." The operater told me. "We're sending someone now." 

I hung up then, and ran to the scene. By now, a crowd had gathered. Stella's mother was crying, and so were most of the kids. I didn't blame them at all. I'd seen the ghosts of dead people before, but now it seemed I was actually witnessing a death.

The ambulance arrived soon, which I was glad of. By then Stella was barely clinging to life. Police were taping off the area and making people leave. I picked hip Lucinda and went home as fast as I could.

When I got there, I told my mother what had happened. She made me hot chocolate and asked if I wanted to talk about it. She didn't seem surprised when I said no. We hadn't had any deep conversations for a long, long time. I went upstairs to my room and blessed myself with holy water. I didn't want any angry spirits coming after me. 

After everything that had happened, I just wanted to sleep. 

But sleep wouldn't come. 

Painful memories did.

When I was little, I talked about ghosts so often that my mother had me tested for mental diease. Twice. Of course, there was nothing wrong with my head. So, my psychiatrist came to a different conclusion. I was lieing. They decided that some of the ghosts I saw at night could be nightmares, but the rest of the time I was lieing.

 I just let them believe. 

I wondered if there was a God. Obviously, religious objects protected me, but what if there was another reason for that? And what kind of a God would lay this curse on me? Maybe there was a God, but for some reason, he just hated me.

Not that I would blame him for that. Everybody hates me.

I let myself cry then. Cry, and cry, and cry. I cried myself to sleep that night.

When I woke up, I saw Stella. She was dead. I knew that for sure now.

Stella had wildly curly red-orange hair. Now, blood was mixed with it. She was wearing a jeans and a pink tee-shirt. That had blood on it, too. There was even a little blood on her shoes.

"Please help me." She whispered.

I did what I usually did. I pretended not to see her. I took deep breaths. "Breath, Charlotte, breath." I told myself. I got up and dressed and went downstairs. 

Stella disappeared by the time I finished my pancakes. I was immensely grateful for that. 

My mom noticed I was pale. "Do you wanna stay home today, sweetie?" She asked me. "No." I replied, shaking my head. I really just needed to see my friends. They always made me feel better.

On my way to school, I stopped at a newspaper stand. It was just as I suspected. The news was all over the story.

GIRL CRACKS SKULL ON PLAYGROUND!

Stella Brent was playing in the park when a tragic accident occurred. Resources say she attempted to jump off the swings set and hit her head on a raised metal platform. 

I stopped reading then. I didn't want or need to know the details of Stella's death. 

It was then that I noticed she was there again. I got back on my bicycle as if I hadn't seen her and went to school.

Cassie and John were back in class. David was also there. I was so happy to see all of their faces again. 

Daniel Evans was there, too.

When he saw us all sitting together, he said: "Hey, look. The new kid's sitting with the weirdos!" 

I thought David would be upset, bout he appeared unfazed. "We embrace our weird sides!" He declared.

Daniel looked enraged that anybody would dare stand up to him like that. Then, a kid began to laugh. I recognized him. Noah. The kid who wrote an essay about pugerillas. He was laughing so hard he was crying. "You should have seen your face!" He choked out. And I guess laughter is contagious, because soon the whole class was laughing.

It looked like the day was off to a good start, after all.

Comments & reviews · 2
User avatar
Kanome
Review
Kanome wrote a review Review · Mar 19, 2018

Hello, AnimalQueen. Kanome here to provide you with another review.

Overall Opinion:
This chapter really hits the emotions. I like how you demonstrate Charlotte's feelings about the whole ordeal of her abilities being nothing but fake. Anyone would be upset if they were told that they were lying. The ending showed hope for Charlotte, seeing how her day started off good instead of just of her normal routine.

Nitpicks and Stuff:
Several things I would like to point out to you

I let myself cry then. Cry, and cry, and cry. I cried myself to sleep that night.


There is no need for repetitiveness. I think this sentence should be tweaked.

GIRL CRACKS SKULL ON PLAYGROUND!

Stella Brent was playing in the park when a tragic accident occurred. Resources say she attempted to jump off the swings set and hit her head on a raised metal platform.


Maybe the title of the headline sounds a bit... harsh? Especially when it involves a child. That's probably just me though. As for the details about the death, I think you should've been a little more descriptive, especially if Charlotte is going to see her as a ghost.

Conclusion:
Overall, this was also a good chapter. You've been getting better at describing your characters, setting, and improving the character development. I don't really have much to say about this chapter because it was written really well.
Keep up the great work! Keep writing and onto the next chapter!

- Kanome

User avatar
Danni88
Review
Danni88 wrote a review Review · Mar 16, 2018

Hey AnimalQueen! Danni here for another review!

You're definitely getting better at paragraphs! I only found a few minor errors. Props to you for that!


I picked hip Lucinda


Change 'hip' to 'up'. Simple typo, nothing major.

lieing


That should be spelt 'lying'.

Breath, Charlotte, breath.


Change 'breath' to 'breathe'.


Overall, I loved this! Typos aside, this was FANTASTIC. Really touching, the part about Stella dying. Will the fact Charlotte saw Stella die affect her psychic powers somehow? She'll have to face up to her powers sooner or later. I'm also glad Cassie and John are back!

Keep up the good work!

Danni x



Deal with the faults of others as gently as with your own.
— Chinese proverb