z

Young Writers Society


12+ Language Violence

You Pissed Me Off (A Roast Fest)

by AceOfPayds


Today, as always, you really pissed me off.
I prayed for your last breath every time I heard you cough.
You're so full of yourself you make Donald Trump look like a saint.
Don't think too hard on that because you'll cause yourself to faint.

I knew you were thinking the minute I smelled smoke.
Those gears were grinding and your cranium broke.
I cringed in agony at your ignorant remarks;
I talked about Albert Einstein and you said you "don't like art."

Your colonoscopy report came in. The doctor said he found your head.

I'd love to smash your skull into your desk until your brains come out your nose.
But all that pain
Would have no gain.
It would end in vain,
For you have no brain.

I went out of my way
To think of you today.
That's when I remembered I had to take out the trash.

Okay, okay. I'll quit with the "roast fest".
I understand people make mistakes.
For example: your parents.


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12 Reviews


Points: 9
Reviews: 12

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Fri Feb 26, 2016 4:21 pm
EmmaEaton wrote a review...



I LOOVE this poem!!! It's so funny. I was going to point out the word "ignorant". Being Ignorant is not necessarily a horrible thing to be. We are ALL ignorants in many ways. For example, I am ignorant to Soccer players. It's not always bad to be ignorant. I really liked the end. I also enjoyed the Trump part.




AceOfPayds says...


Thanks. But it really depends on the perspective of the person reading it. For instance, you look at that word as a neutral and bland word. Whereas, I see it to be more of an insult than a category. So it all depends on the reader's perspective versus the writer's perspective.



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Points: 393
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Sat Feb 20, 2016 2:50 pm
Hikarufire says...



Wow this was pretty awesome




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Points: 393
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Sat Feb 20, 2016 2:49 pm
Hikarufire says...



Wow this was pretty awesome




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Points: 392
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Fri Feb 05, 2016 12:16 pm
monotonix wrote a review...



The speech was freaking hilarious. I made a roast in English class but my work is nothing like this. I'm a person who's always serious and I laughed at this like an idiot. I like the way that this roast was written in poem style with a rhyme. It actually helped to make this funnier.

You know, I can feel your anger on every line and that's funny. It's obvious you hate that person from the title and the whole poem about her stupidity. The best part of this probably was the end.

"Okay, okay. I'll quit with the "roast fest".
I understand people make mistakes.
For example: your parents."

I laughed at this so hard and that earned you big points.

Btw, I'll try to roast you even though I didn't know you lol

ace of pyds is her name.
I know It's really lame
& She was pissed with a bird brain
Though she herself got no brain

lol




AceOfPayds says...


Bro, nice roast. But I should probably inform you, that I am a dude. Thanks for the feedback, though! Maybe you can master the art of trashing someone with literary weapons such as my poem!



monotonix says...


Yeah I know you're a dude. It's part of the roast rofl



AceOfPayds says...


Oh haha!



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Points: 128
Reviews: 14

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Sat Jan 16, 2016 11:02 pm
mkultra98 wrote a review...



This is pretty funny and witty. I wouldn't show this to the person you wrote it about, though! I especially like the line
"Your colonoscopy report came in. The doctor said he found your head." because that line is not only hilarious, but has a nice, memorable ring to it.

I can totally feel the anger the narrator has, because we all have people like that. This poem is relatable because of that- but there's also this degree of personal roast that's awesome and seems very well thought out and witty.
I can't think of anything I would change about this poem. My personal favorite part is the rhyme and rhythm of the piece. Also an awesome way to vent! Productively!




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Fri Jan 15, 2016 10:15 pm
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RSTorres wrote a review...



I can feel every single thing the ranting narrator is feeling. At the end, I felt as if I wanted to hit something. I had to come out of myself and calm down before I actually hurt something. I felt like someone should have dropped a mic and walk off stage - that "your parents" part is the reason I said this.

I would NOT want to be that girl.

The tone and rhyme scheme is great! I loved every part of it. I also found this funny and really entertaining, from the Donald Trump looking like a saint to her parents mistake! Overall, awesome job and I sincerely hope to see more!




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47 Reviews


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Fri Jan 15, 2016 2:54 am
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RebelWriter wrote a review...



Haha way to vent. It was interesting, I liked the rhyme scheme and the hunor. She must be rather annoying if she makes Donald look like a saint. I found your line your colonscopy came in. the doctor said he found your head. I'm too sure what a colonscopy is, but I have a good idea of what it might be ;) and all i can say is, wow. She must be something else. I've met people like this and have felt this way,, never thought to write how I felt about them though. Very creative




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Thu Jan 14, 2016 5:34 pm
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DarkWhispers69 says...



I love this as I have met people like this or have heard others who met people like this! I know a few people who wouldn't get this at all and I would love to their face when they ask me what it means. But again, thanks for sharing such a lovely poem with us!




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77 Reviews


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Reviews: 77

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Thu Jan 14, 2016 3:41 pm
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RadiantShadow says...



Hi :) ok so I'm going to give a little review :P

First off I have to say I loved this poem! I personally know a person that pisses me off as well and tomorrow when I see her I will definitely start saying this right in front of her and she wont even know I'm talking about her.

But anyways here is the actual review : the use of diction you used really made me laugh because the fact you chose technical words such as 'colonoscopy' and such other was brilliant! It perfectly showed how this person won't understand you simply because she is an idiot.

I really love the fact that many of the lines ended with rhymes and it really made the poem flow and it gave it that underlying sense of irony which was great. The ending I did not see coming, it really shocked me and it was the perfect punch line to this poem.

Great work!
~RS




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77 Reviews


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Thu Jan 14, 2016 3:41 pm
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RadiantShadow wrote a review...



Great poem!




AceOfPayds says...


Thanks. Glad to know someone understands colonoscopy. Some are too inferior to understand





:D np




a little humanity makes all the difference
— Rosendorn