Hey :3
Great poem, you've described it the feelings of the lovesick perfectly, and it's something most people can relate to.
Another great thing is that you've put the feelings into very clear sentences and used words very well, which makes it easy for a reader to go with the flow of the poem.
I like the fact that there are no unnecessary embellishments. Also, there are no rough edges which make the poem sound awkward.
To improve, you could add to the poem and put some other feelings and even try to think of emotions that people don't normally talk about it poems. For instance, something very un-cliché, that people would read and realise for the first time.
Also, you could change the word 'emptiness' in the last stanza because it doesn't sound that right.
Can't wait to read your next one!
Points: 927
Reviews: 5
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