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Give Me Your Musings

by kimmybee

It never bothers me what others think,
Or it had never bothered me.
Not until now.
It bothers me too much.
I know it’s me.
My fault really.
It always is-
Probably always will be.
Still though, it kills me.
It kills me to not know.
To be hinted at-
But never confided in.
For a second, just forget.
I’m not me, I’m just another.
Now tell me all, all there is to tell.
Tell me what you think of me.
I promise to take it
As I always do.
That is, a subtle pause
Then resume to default mode
It will be like your mental musing
Not input from me, unless you ask.
I can take it, really.
Just tell me, please.
What I can’t take is silence. 

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541 Reviews

Points: 370
Reviews: 541

Fri Feb 08, 2013 3:16 am
Lauren2010 wrote a review...

Hey again, Kimmybee!

I just reviewed another piece of yours, when I noticed this one woefully unreviewed as well! And thus, I am here to offer my insight yet again (and hopefully be somewhat helpful in the process).

I quite like the concept you're working with here. I definitely know how it feels to think people are talking about you when you're not around/needing to know how people think of you when you're not around. It's something very human, I think, and I really identified with it. I particularly like the fourth stanza, how the speaker is pleading with whoever it is they're speaking to, asking to be let in on these secrets that everyone else has and they're not allowed in on.

However, that was almost the only stanza that really worked for me. Structurally, there's not much I have issue with in this poem. But it's the way the things said in this poem are said, and the ways these feelings are presented that doesn't quite sit right with me.

I'd really like to see, I think, less repetition on the speaker's part. We get this "tell me" "tell me" "tell me" "I promise I won't care" thing over and over and over and it detracts from what this poem could be. In truth, this speaker probably will care what other people think (whatever we say or think, we can't escape that desire to be approved of by our peers; no matter what the speaker says they will be changed and impacted by knowing this information). I'd like to see more of the speaker's other thoughts on the matter; why do they suspect people think things about her they don't say to her face? What will she gain from knowing this information? Why does she think people keep these things from her, if it's what they truly think?

All in all, great concept! Just work on the execution and you'll have something great on your hands.

Keep writing!


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28 Reviews

Points: 1389
Reviews: 28

Sat May 05, 2012 3:35 pm
xhellysmx says...

hey there. this is really a good poem. i'm going through the same situation and yes,what i can't take is silence. good job and keep writing. :)

Adventure is worthwhile.
— Aesop