Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
129,704 Literary Works • 671,510 Reviews
Hey kimmybee!
Great topic! I love it! Maybe we move through time facing backwards, because we can see the past behind us, but not the future in front of us. Anyway...
The lineation is great, and I like the capitalisation. It adds a bit of solidity to your poem. In this case, expressing thoughts in a dreamy kind of way, the free verse style you've opted for is great, adding to the atmosphere. Not rhyming is also good here.
I would experiment with punctuation a bit and look what it does to the mood. Try perhaps:
Who knows?
No one?
Surely someone—
Or Someone...
And similar combinations. I showed you that one specifically because of the exclamation mark. Using an exclamation mark is seen by some as "laughing at your own joke". I think it adds an element of fun and mockery to the question and answer in this poem. It sounds almost like a teacher persuading her class to participate in discussion. So look at what you want to communicate through the poem and experiment with small changes making a big impact on the overall message.
Keep writing!
That has got to be one of- if not- the most thought provoking advice here. I must try it out
*goes off to experiment*
Oh and before I do, I must thank you for an advice I will be making the most of in the future. I re-read it using your suggestion and I am very pleased. It makes me almost look forward to reviewing my other pieces. You sound like a great philosopher; I liked your idea,''Maybe we move through time facing backwards, because we can see the past behind us, but not the future in front of us.'' I am now having conspiracy theories
That has got to be one of- if not- the most thought provoking advice here. I must try it out
*goes off to experiment*
Oh and before I do, I must thank you for an advice I will be making the most of in the future. I re-read it using your suggestion and I am very pleased. It makes me almost look forward to reviewing my other pieces. You sound like a great philosopher; I liked your idea,''Maybe we move through time facing backwards, because we can see the past behind us, but not the future in front of us.'' I am now having conspiracy theories