running from satan

ELLO, Liz is here for whatever this turns out to be!!

Okay, lets start with Capitalization, I guess.
At the beginning of a new sentence, and/or stanza, it would be nice to capitalize the beginning to tell the reader that this is a different stanza, even though it it obvious that you did very well spacing them out.
And if you will, you should capitalize the title, because that is the most important part of the poem, the title. And please capitalize 'I', 'cause I cannot stand the uncapital I's.

But other than that, I loved it. I love how you talked about Satan's appearance, his teeth, and how you talk about accepting the pain, you did very well.

OVERALL: IT WAS SO AMAZING!!! IT IS ONE OF MY FAVORITES!!!
((Sorry this might sound rude))
Great Job!!!

Legacy here for a review.

I love the concept of this poem. The idea that pain doesn't actually hurt unless you think it hurts is interesting. I haven't seen many poems about this at all, and the way your wrote it is beautiful.

The only negative thing that I have to say is that it feels rushed with how you decided to break your lines. Also I don't personally understand how a tongue can be slothy? Maybe use a different word, I don't know if it confused anyone else as well.

You used imagery very well though; it was as if I could see what was going on. That's all I really have to say today. Keep writing, Legacy out.

is satan giving you trouble?

if so, i'll go talk to him and maybe slap him and make sure he doesn't do that again.

i told him that it's my job to mess with humans, and what does he do? mEsS wItH hUmAnS.

Hello! Manilla here for my twenty-fifth review. The symbolism game in here, especially for spirituals, is strong in this poem! I really enjoyed the irony in the end, the lesson that all of us can implement in life. The formatting in this poem was different, because there weren’t “lines”. You wrote it like a narrative story’s passage but in lowercase. Good stylistic choices!

”pain because
we accept that
it’s pain”

Radrook here a once again
to offer some suggestions.
Apologies if i offend.
It isn’t my intention.

Please feel full free to cast aside
all things you deem not helpful.
But if you do be sure it's true
by being extra careful.

That having been said:

Thanks for sharing this poem concerning someone who is terrified of Satan and is fleeing for his life through a forest on a grey horse and who finally realizes that Satan can’t hurt him unless he grants him that power.

The poem is certainly brimming with vivid imagery which draws the reader into the experience. The mention of Satan, provides the poem with a religious aspect and each reader will respond to it differently. For example, an atheists might laugh it all away as mere superstition and evidence of how such superstition can ruin lives by making people afraid of their own shadows. On the other hand, a Christian will likely take the description very seriously.

One way that a Christian might see the protagonist is as a person of little faith who doesn’t trust in God;s protection. Another might view it as a wayward Christian who has abandoned the faith and is now at the mercy of Satan and feels assailed by him.

In the conclusion the person realizes that Satan cannot hurt him unless he cooperates.

Suggestions:

....the wind hurling....
....serpentine tongue

The poem would read better if the punctuation were fixed.



horse[,]
failed[,]
[M]y chest....
[W]hen my legs....
[M]y chest [Second time the word “chest" ïs used.]
....staring at me[,] breathing[,]
[H]e dug....
[B]ut in doing so[,]....
[I]t was then....
[H]is teeth....
[H]is nails....
[H]is hiss....

pain[.]


BTW
Mention of the pale horse brought this scripture to my mind.

And I looked, and behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death, and Hell followed with him. And power was given unto them over the fourth part of the earth, to kill with sword, and with hunger, and with death, and with the beasts of the earth.
Revelation 6:8 - King James