silent heaven

by tigeraye

Published March 28, 2018

In 2018 Poetry

PreviousNext

Comments & reviews · 3
User avatar
AngelColline Review
AngelColline wrote a review Review · Mar 29, 2018

This poem is beautiful. It captures the pain and confusion of struggling to believe. The lack of capitalization is obvious, but if it's the poet's style I don't think there's any problem with it. The imagery towards the end is amazing and surreal and makes this piece even more meaningful. Actually, the overall use of words, descriptive adjectives and action verbs all come together to convey the emotions of the poem. The continuous theme of silence adds consistency and meaning as well. I really like this poem and appreciate the way you were able to portray the emotions behind it so well. Great job!

User avatar
Fabis101
Review
Fabis101 wrote a review Review · Mar 28, 2018

Great and powerful poem! The diction used here is strong and on point with your message. Struggling with finding faith and truth in one’s life is a rite of passage for most people and this poem captures that idea. Or at least that is how I read it. The only error I see is not capitalizing Jesus or God, but it seems ok having it lowercase because of the theme of the poem. I think you have some liberties with that one. I like the lowercase look of the poem, so it looks pretty good to me. Wonderful poem, keep writing!

thank you. i don't like capitalization,

User avatar
EverLight
Review
EverLight wrote a review Review · Mar 28, 2018

Powerful impacting great word usage. However you forgot to capitalize your I God and Jesus should also be capital. Also you should consider adding more capitals to the over all poem Also you could use a better more impactful words for that cry out and red my eyes line. Maybe use the world tears and describe what the pain feels like. Also when you talk about centeries of brittle lies maybe you could do a stronger word? I think that was really great otherwise. However . . .Not that I'm saying your wrong that you haven't had your doubts but I can't help but wonder is this about how God's not real? If so I disagree so I will have to talk to you about that . . .great poem though. I also loved the word usage. You have a way with them. If you feel like I hurt you you have my word for it I am sorry and didn't mean to. Also I haven't had alot of time working with poems stories are more my thing. Great work though keep on using words like that and I'm sure you'll be a star writer on here in no time.
Thanks for posting this. Keep on doing so.

thank you for your lovely comments. this isn't to say god doesn't exist, just capturing the briefest moments of doubt i've had over the years



"I love you as certain dark things are to be loved, in secret, between the shadow and the soul."
— Pablo Neruda