that Gooey feeling
that
Icky
Yummy
Warm
Gooey feeling
Sticky Honey
Spilt Tea
Dark Red Blood
Lipstick on a Bathroom Mirror
Melted Chocolate
Gooey feelings
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141,249 Literary Works • 674,330 Reviews
Hallo! Retro here!
I'll do nitpicks then talk about what I like, okay?
Now there isn't much to go on...You've made a list, and some imagery but there is nothing to back it up. You say that they're gooey feelings but that really doesn't tell us much as a reader. I get it's simple and what not but I personally feel as though we need more as a reader. because there really isn't an identitfier or a voice at the moment.
But that's it for nitpicks as, like I said, there isn't much. But what you do have is good. I love the imagery, and I love the sort of idea you have with it. Especially Dark red blood, i think it is beautiful and i'm not entirely sure why!
I think you backed up imagery with a bit more emotion this would be absolutely fantastic. I'm sorry I don't have more to say!
But here if you need me!
Keep it up!
~Retro
Thanks for the review!
And, I too, feel the same way about blood. It's weird isn't it?
I'll try to add in some emotion as well.
Hello! KatyaElefant here for another review! Let's see what we have right here.
There is just one thing that is piercing my brain, when I read this. You don't have to do what I say but I wish that you would have organized it a bit better. Some of the lines should be combined and maybe you could split it into two stanzas. That's all I have to say is wrong.
I love the imagery that you show right here. The adjectives and details that you have in here, just amazing. I love it! Your spelling is great. The grammar is good for poetry but I don't really prefer for it to be like this. The capitalization just bothers me and distracts me from the purpose of your text. I think that punctuation, would help make your poem flow better. I think that you did a great job with this. I don't understand how lipstick on a bathroom mirror is gooey but that's just my opinion. XD Someone these things I don't find warm and gooey and happy, for example the split tea. I feel gross when I spill my tea because the mess that it makes. XD I wish you would have used the warm gooey feeling when you drink tea.(I loved that feeling). Also, I wish you used the warm gooey feeling from a movie or when you see your favorite family members after a long time. Overall, great job. I really loved this. Keep calm and keep writing!
I probably will split it into stanzas, thanks for the idea!
But about the spilt tea and lipstick, I didn't mean that those examples were gooey feelings. Spilt tea is literally gooey. So is lipstick on a mirror.
(Puts lipstick on mirror) not that gooey...XD
My lipstick usually is.
Well technically it's lip butter
ohhhh. XD I was imaging this.
I hope this works XD
That's what I mean. But my lipstick is physically gooey
ohhhhhh! XD *now thinks of chapstick when you mush it a bit* XD
SUCCESS!
I don't know why but I ended up liking this short poem of yours. It's some how cute, and it might might you laugh. Sorry it that wasn't the point of your poem, but it's what I think. ^.^
I wanted people to feel warm and happy while reading it, and Im glad you liked it and laughed! Thanks!!