that Gooey feeling
Dark Red Blood
Lipstick on a Bathroom Mirror
Hallo! Retro here!I'll do nitpicks then talk about what I like, okay? Now there isn't much to go on...You've made a list, and some imagery but there is nothing to back it up. You say that they're gooey feelings but that really doesn't tell us much as a reader. I get it's simple and what not but I personally feel as though we need more as a reader. because there really isn't an identitfier or a voice at the moment.But that's it for nitpicks as, like I said, there isn't much. But what you do have is good. I love the imagery, and I love the sort of idea you have with it. Especially Dark red blood, i think it is beautiful and i'm not entirely sure why! I think you backed up imagery with a bit more emotion this would be absolutely fantastic. I'm sorry I don't have more to say!But here if you need me!Keep it up!~Retro
Hello! KatyaElefant here for another review! Let's see what we have right here.There is just one thing that is piercing my brain, when I read this. You don't have to do what I say but I wish that you would have organized it a bit better. Some of the lines should be combined and maybe you could split it into two stanzas. That's all I have to say is wrong.I love the imagery that you show right here. The adjectives and details that you have in here, just amazing. I love it! Your spelling is great. The grammar is good for poetry but I don't really prefer for it to be like this. The capitalization just bothers me and distracts me from the purpose of your text. I think that punctuation, would help make your poem flow better. I think that you did a great job with this. I don't understand how lipstick on a bathroom mirror is gooey but that's just my opinion. XD Someone these things I don't find warm and gooey and happy, for example the split tea. I feel gross when I spill my tea because the mess that it makes. XD I wish you would have used the warm gooey feeling when you drink tea.(I loved that feeling). Also, I wish you used the warm gooey feeling from a movie or when you see your favorite family members after a long time. Overall, great job. I really loved this. Keep calm and keep writing!
I don't know why but I ended up liking this short poem of yours. It's some how cute, and it might might you laugh. Sorry it that wasn't the point of your poem, but it's what I think. ^.^
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