My Friend

I really liked this subject matter. It was very unique and was unlike anything I had seen before. I felt that it was very powerful but lacked a good amount of emotion which was a shame as this would have benefited a lot more with it. Having said that, the poem it still just as amazing without it.

My favourite lines would have to be:

you can't tell by her skin,
because she has no race.

Aouther2b here to review!

What I liked:

1. The mystery. As a way of showing rather than telling what you want to say this poem reaches top bar, far none. I loved the fact that you have made the "friend your shadow" but didn't say it straight out.

2. The flow. There aren't any heavy or awkward breaks in this poem so its easy and pleasureable to read. Great work.

What I didn't like:

1. For as much as you describe this "friend" without giving image, It lacks the feelings you want to potray as a poet. Its like, ya I have a shadow? why is that important. Try and work out what the shadow means to you. It will help take this poem even deeper.

Overall:
A solid piece. Great structure and flow. Keep writing!

The Shauzer here reviewing, I thought this was a very good poem. I won't waste time with grammar mistakes because I want to concentrate on other things.
I don't usually read poetry, fiction novels for me But I know that this is one of the better ones, so I saw it through to the end. The way the words managed to flow was lovely, almost co-operating with each other to form a piece of art.
It was very clever, the ways you referred to your 'friend', like Pompadour, I too thought it was a person at the start. But once I figured out it was your shadow the poem went up a whole level in my book. I hope you keep writing, I might not be a professional author or anything, but I think you have good potential.
Your different phrases seem to be your own bread and butter, and you use them better than most. "She comes to me,
when the sun shines bright,
but disappears when it goes down.
And turns to night."
This is by far my favourite part, and I think you should use this creative style as often as you can. Good luck with your future poetry.
The Shauzer.

Hey Morticiansdaughter19! I've popped over for a quick review!
OK, so at first, I thought you were talking about a real person, but as I read on I realized you were talking about your shadow and it gave me a tingly, yet pleasant, surprise! There are a couple of nitpicks here and there, but there's nothing that can't be corrected.
Over here for example:
"She's quite, too quite."
I think you meant "quiet" instead of "quite" here. You might want to correct that.
And then, over here:
"She mimics my movements,
but yet her footsteps,
make no sound."
"but" and "yet" are two words with the same meaning. So you can't use them together. Try using "and" here instead.
Overall, your poem is good, but I felt it ended a bit abruptly. It's as if you wanted to say more but decided not to. Maybe you could twitch the words around a bit in the last sentence so it doesn't have that unfinished feeling. Maybe if it was : "and she stands as tall as the trees," we'd know that you've concluded the poem. It's up to you how you choose to change the sentence!
I hope this helped! Keep writing!
Digital cookies,
Pompadour.

Hi Morticiansdaughter19, you caught me with your poem!So I come to give review.

I thinking about my shadow, and this poem is definitely about your own shadow? The concept is good and attractive. You make it so enthralling and impressed within me. Although the beginning seem quite static and I do not feel anything, but you have made it great in the end of your poem.

And turns to night.
She's quite, too quite.
And never responds to my words.
She mimics my movements,
but yet her footsteps,
make no sound.

she walks beside me.
a part of the street,
standing as tall as trees.