Dumb poetry.
You say you can be anything.
You say anything can be you.
But you're just dumb.
Because people accept this as poetry:
"Reeling and waxing with tongs and rays,
Toucans and spoons in a watch gear."
And they try to find a deeper meaning.
Because there's always supposed to be one.
But what about when there's not a deeper meaning?
What if there's no substance.
And it was just word vomit,
with pretty spaces,
and pretty words,
and free punctuation.
When the average man stumbles onto poetry,
he takes a look around and says,
"Hey. I can do this!"
and he writes empty words
and people praise it as genius.
Even though it was crap.
And he's so proud and mighty.
And it's modern art.
And everyone ends up hating poetry.
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137,476 Literary Works • 672,034 Reviews
I really like this. I had this attitude about poetry for a very long time! Ha, honestly I think a lot of poetry is just terrible, but this is actually pretty good.
This is very well put together, mostly because it's true. I liked it a lot, although I felt like the rhythm was off in some places. Your word choice is a little interesting, and not one that I particularly care for. It goes fine with the poem, but better words could be used. All of your grammar is correct and I don't really see a problem with anything. It's such a brilliant idea.
Thank you for your review, and the spirit of the poem would not allow for rhythm, and it also called for that language. Thanks!
Haha, fortis. So does this secretly belong in essays?
I'm not going to critique the construction of the poem, then, 'cause that would be counter intuitive, but I am going to talk with you a little bit about your main idea, 'cause it's interesting:
You mentioned that people try to read a deeper meaning into this. Now, I'm totally with you if these people are claiming that it's cut and dried like so many academics, or especially teachers do when teaching poetry (from any time and in any form really). The best teachers make SURE the students know that this is just the TEACHER's interpretation based on the evidence the teacher has gathered and if the students find other evidence they are totally welcome to disagree. Because usually the "evidence" can be turned in so many different directions depending on the logic, yeah?
So while there's not a concrete meaning behind these words and I know they seem like absolute total garbage because they're all kind of randomly thrown together by you, BUT! There is always still power between these words. Recently some of my very favorite kind of poetry is the kind that seems like rubbish if you look at it with a logical mind, but that can really be eye-opening and emotional if you let down that logical thinking and go into it open and abstract. What does a toucan and spoons in a watch gear make you think of? I think awkward, stuttering. If this were paired with a description of meeting someone for the last time, that could be actually pretty emotional and subtly deep, if you know what I mean.
Just food for thought. Somethin' ta chew on.
Lemme know if you have any questions.
Good luck and keep writing, Knight Fortis!
What I'm really complaining about here are the people (I've done this, so I know there are others) who just write a poem to put pretty words together, and they don't really HAVE a deeper message in mind. But then other people come in and MAKE it have a deeper message, and I feel like this is cheating in some way. I know it's not, and again I am guilty of this myself. Thanks for your review!
Knight Malachi here to review for KotGR.
So this is actually very true sometimes. I always feel like I'm looking for something deeper, and sometimes there is, but sometimes there isn't and I think I'm over thinking it.
And he's so proud and mighty.
And it's modern art.
And everyone ends up hating poetry.
The part about modern art made me laugh, because whenever I see a painting, (for the most part) I'm like, "Oh, I could draw that. It's a bunch of punch flung against a wall."
Anyway, I think when you have the line: "Hey. I can do this.", that you should chant the first period to an exclamation point. It just seems like that would flow and fit better. But pretty good otherwise, with no problems I saw.
Keep it up!
Thanks for your review!
and Modern Art = "I could do that!" "Yeah, but you didn't."
I'll think about that exclamation point.