I really like this. I had this attitude about poetry for a very long time! Ha, honestly I think a lot of poetry is just terrible, but this is actually pretty good.
Dumb poetry.
You say you can be anything.
You say anything can be you.
But you're just dumb.
Because people accept this as poetry:
"Reeling and waxing with tongs and rays,
Toucans and spoons in a watch gear."
And they try to find a deeper meaning.
Because there's always supposed to be one.
But what about when there's not a deeper meaning?
What if there's no substance.
And it was just word vomit,
with pretty spaces,
and pretty words,
and free punctuation.
When the average man stumbles onto poetry,
he takes a look around and says,
"Hey. I can do this!"
and he writes empty words
and people praise it as genius.
Even though it was crap.
And he's so proud and mighty.
And it's modern art.
And everyone ends up hating poetry.
I really like this. I had this attitude about poetry for a very long time! Ha, honestly I think a lot of poetry is just terrible, but this is actually pretty good.
This is very well put together, mostly because it's true. I liked it a lot, although I felt like the rhythm was off in some places. Your word choice is a little interesting, and not one that I particularly care for. It goes fine with the poem, but better words could be used. All of your grammar is correct and I don't really see a problem with anything. It's such a brilliant idea.
Haha, fortis. So does this secretly belong in essays?
I'm not going to critique the construction of the poem, then, 'cause that would be counter intuitive, but I am going to talk with you a little bit about your main idea, 'cause it's interesting:
"Reeling and waxing with tongs and rays,
Toucans and spoons in a watch gear."
Knight Malachi here to review for KotGR.
So this is actually very true sometimes. I always feel like I'm looking for something deeper, and sometimes there is, but sometimes there isn't and I think I'm over thinking it.
And he's so proud and mighty.
And it's modern art.
And everyone ends up hating poetry.
The part about modern art made me laugh, because whenever I see a painting, (for the most part) I'm like, "Oh, I could draw that. It's a bunch of punch flung against a wall."
Anyway, I think when you have the line: "Hey. I can do this.", that you should chant the first period to an exclamation point. It just seems like that would flow and fit better. But pretty good otherwise, with no problems I saw.
Keep it up!
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