This is a test,
A what?
A test.
A what?
A test.
Oh, it's a test.
You have to pass.
To what?
To pass.
To what?
To pass.
Oh, I have to pass.
Here is the test.
The what?
The test.
The what?
The test.
Oh, the test.
This is a pen.
A what?
A pen.
A what?
A pen.
Oh, it's a pen.
Answer the questions.
The what?
The questions.
The what?
The questions.
Oh, the questions.
You failed the test.
I what?
You failed.
I what?
You failed.
Oh... I failed.
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137,435 Literary Works • 672,020 Reviews
I hope you know that the origin of this comes from a play by Stephen Gregg. I know this because I had to do the annoying chorus part that did this.
It's actually kind of funny because I'm wearing my show shirt from this right now.
No I didn't, actually. I just kinda came up with this... :/
Oh well, now that I read it, it's not exactly the same. Look it up though and you'll see what I mean. It's an interesting play. Unfortunately my dear, someone already stole your idea. I'm sorry.
Hey! ajruby12 here for a quick review!
Ok, I'm usually one who doesn't like repetition in stories or poetry. I liked the idea but it was just.. Boring, in my opinion. There wasn't much said and I don't think enough to keep the reader engaged or interested. Yes, I realize the point of this but I think a little more creativity could make this very clever.
-Lady Ariana, The Silver Knight
(Sorry, forgot to mark it as a review..)
Hi! Friendly tip: next time you forget to mark a review, PM a mod and they'll help change it and get your points for you.
Thanks! I'll try to remember that next time!
Hey! ajruby12 here for a quick review!
Ok, I'm usually one who doesn't like repetition in stories or poetry. I liked the idea but it was just.. Boring, in my opinion. There wasn't much said and I don't think enough to keep the reader engaged or interested. Yes, I realize the point of this but I think a little more creativity could make this very clever.
-Lady Ariana, The Silver Knight
Hi defyingravity01,have a good day!So here is Dark to give review on your poem.
First of all,I like the concept here,the theme and the messages to want to convey to the reader.It capable to give the emotional impact on the reader. How we simply pursuant to the instructions when someone directed us to do so.But the element of repetition here ruined this wonderful poem a bit;
Through the first stanza and the third stanza.I don't know what the reason is,but I hope that you can explain that to me
Overall,I like it.Keep it up.
Kudos,cheers
~Dark
So first, it's "This is a test." Saying basically "you're going to take a test now" and then "here is the test" meaning, the test is on your desk, you may start. That stanza wasn't originally in there, but I revised it because of a request. So, I'm sorry if you don't like it. It was an add in :/
Owh my..No need to say sorry here.Now I know the reason so I think it does make sense to me now
Sweet
Hey there, Cailey here with a review for you.
I like the idea of writing poetry about testing. I mean, it's that whole thing of taking a boring (awful) every day (well, thankfully not every day) thing and turning it into poetry. There's something beautiful about writing about something that would normally not be considered writing material.
That being said, I wish you would make this more poetic. At this point, this is more of a repetitive song, and not so much of a poem. I think if you can take that everyday object and turn it into something more than just the thing itself, this can become a much deeper poem.
For example, give us more emotion. Talk about how you feel during the test and what the failure feels like. Give us detail, what class is this test in, what is the teacher like? How smart is the test take?
Little details and extra imagery can really help a poem become more than just a repetitive way of saying something. Make this deeper. What are you saying about the test? Something positive or negative? Why does it matter that someone failed a test? More meaning, you know?
However, I don't want to sound like I am just criticizing your poem. This wasn't bad, and you do cover the points you are making and you make a full circle, from receiving the test at the beginning to receiving the graded test at the end. Your ending was really strong and I loved the hesitation in the last line. That moment of "oh crap, I failed."
I think most of us have been there at some point. Even if it was just a quiz or something.
So, good job, but I would love to see you work on this more and add some more detail and more meaning. Let me know if you ever need anything or have any questions or comments.
And of course, keep writing!
The reason for the repetativeness was this; it really represents the slowness of someone who has woken up an hour ago, did not study and has to take a test. It's really not supposed to be poetic, it's more of a metaphor I guess you could say. So... sorry that's just the style of the poem. Not all poems have to be dramatic.
The waking up part does make this style make more sense. Maybe you could add a stanza at the beginning, something like "wake up, you have to go to school." with the repetition of the rest of the poem. I think showing that there's some sluggishness would have helped me understand your choice of style too.
And you're right, not all poems need to be dramatic. I think the truth is I'm more of a novelist and stories, so I tend to always want more detail, which doesn't always necessarily fit with whatever I'm reviewing, so sorry!
Haha, so had that feeling when I found out I had a quiz to do over a chapter I never read because I didn't know to, fifteen minutes before class. Needless to say I can majorly identify with the final stanza.
Actual review: okay, I liked the poem's rhythm and repetition, so I'll go for the content. Most of us aren't that braindead when it comes to a test (This is a pen. A what? A pen.). But then again that's probably how you felt. And I was expecting after "This is a test" a stanza saying "Here is the test. The what? The test..."
Suggestion: the title would be a lot more fun as "This is a test" than just "a test". Doesn't that just create laughter already? It draws the mind towards the "Testing, testing, one, two, three" phrase, and then drags it back to reality with the actual poem. And the suggested title embodies both the first line and the heart of the poem. But of course, that is just a suggestion.
Hope this helps!
And as a Knight of the Green Room, I cordially invite you to submit this poem here: Knights of the Green Room -- Quest for a Library [Sept. 28]
Go forth and do great things!
I made revisions. hope you like it
Haha, I love it! Good job!