Young Writers Society

Hey!

I was checking out your poem 'The unsaid Things' and this caught my eye.

I really liked it! I basically just finished googling all the words, wow! You know a lot of words.

In some ways I agree with what Aley said, you should try stretching the poem out more and help the reader add meaning to the words used, you could create a really weird and odd little narrative.
But, I also like how it is now. The way the words sound alone are enough for me. It is fun and exciting to read and when I say it out loud it makes me giggle.

You have used words well, and I like the way they flow and bounce of each other almost.

Good job and keep it up!

Nargles xx

This poem has some advantages to it. It is a poem that has the opportunity to really explore word use and sounds of words versus their meanings, but it can go further than just what you've done. Instead of just pairing things up like this, Sparkle, how about you go through and expand upon the actual definitions of what you're creating. Perhaps make a sentence of it, tie more than just two words together and go through like you've done more in the second line, keep that up. Get more adjectives, more verbs, and use them in a way that really makes a vivid picture for the reader to hold onto, like liquescent lollipops dribbling down omnipresent elephants upon their something or another, you get the picture? Draw things together like that to really help our imaginations bring these words out. Also adding natural words will help us identify what they mean better, so work on explaining the word with the new additions.

Oh, right critiquing. I really like the objective of this poem. It's a really cool way to get into the poem, the first line is very well executed, along with the last sentence, but I want more.

Haha, I loved this poem! It made for a refreshing read! Hey Sparkle, your poem sparkles! It felt like a bit of Roald Dahl for er... bigger people. But you might want to correct the typo in the title. You wrote "Experimantation." It's "Experimentation."
Now excuse me while I open up a new tab and wiki all the words you've used.
By the way, did you know "Hippopotomonstrosequippeddaliophobia" is a word that means : a fear of long words? The irony!
Your poem is short and snappy, and I'm definitely looking forward to reading more of your work!
Digital cookies,
Pompadour

This poem sparkles! It sparkles vivaciously. Absolutely scintillating, I should say.

Haha, you just made having a large vocabulary look like loads of fun If I was an English teacher, I'd show my class this poem to get people pumped to learn some new words.

I thought that this was fun, as you intended it to be.

I've written a lot of reviews today, and while normally I come across maybe one or two words that I need to look up, this takes the cake. I'm going to have to Google practically the meaning of your whole poem, Sparkle! I love that. I love how you guys continue to challenge me, and give me free English lessons.

The rhythm of this was amazing. You found words wacky enough to be in this poem, but short enough that they didn't damage the flow. You get brownie points for that.

This definitely made me laugh, and I hope that you write more like it soon.

There's a lot of big and fancy words in this poem, and it reminds me a little bit of Jabberwocky, where the reader determines what each word meant and turn it into a coherent poem... But of course, because I'm curious, I looked them up on the dictionary. (Which is an embarrass amount)

I really like it! The phrases are little bit weird, but hey, since it's just-for-fun, that's acceptable, right? The "omnipresent elephant" part really cracked me up though. Good job!