Patient as a thoughtful monk
I seek your gentle smile
In between the loving conversation.
Soft and subtle like the sea,
You radiate with elegant beauty;
Angelic in your posture,
You stand resolute upon my heart.
Your footprints on my heart
Are footprints on the sand,
Only there for a short,
Indescribable twinkling...
But the allure of it all?
Everyone returns to the sea
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125,005 Literary Works • 672,808 Reviews
Hello! Just here for a review.
You're a natural! The way your words come together is amazing!
It is so simple and elegant at the same time. The writing is truly beautiful and you have a gift with similes. My favorite stanza would have to be;
"Your footprints on my heart
Are footprints on the sand,
Only there for a short,
Indescribable twinkling...
But the allure of it all?
Everyone returns to the sea"
This is truly amazing, keep up the good work! Try submitting this in a competition, I honestly think you might win!!
Bye love, have a good day!!
BabyRayne, Thank you once again for the review! This was the first poem I have written in a few months (I took a few months off after my last contest, and all of my other submissions on here were written in 2012), so I though I may be a little out of practice, but to hear such a positive review is very uplifting! I have been looking into entering some contests and potentially even some sort of publishing but I haven't really found much. I shall keep searching though and I will most definitely let you know how and contest submissions with this piece go! Thank you once again for the review, waking up to read this has set a wonderful mood for the day!!
Cheers!
Graham
Glad I could be of help!!
Amazing! Just Amazing! Such descriptive words! I really liked 'Everyone returns to the sea' So True! Like they say. There are plenty of fish in the sea. I liked this Poem a lot because its truthful. Truth a good thing to live by. Truth something you will always need in life no matter what. I loved this poem! Your a great poet! Hope you keep writing!
From,
Buddy886551
Thank you very much! I'm very glad that you liked it! If you really liked it as much as you say i would encourage you to read some of my other pieces.
Cheers!
Graham
This is a great poem! It is so simple and elegant at the same time. The writing is truly beautiful and you have a gift with similes. The poem did a great job a drawing a picture in my head, which added to the overall allure of the poem.
You did an amazing job when you chose the words to write with, because every single word that you used contributed to the message and the mood of the poem. Sometimes it is hard to find the right words to convey the right feeling in the poem, but you did a great job with it.
Well done.
Younganfclueless, Thank you very much for reading! I spend a lot of time on my word choice because diction can be a very powerful aspect of writing. I'm glad you enjoyed it!
Cheers!
Graham
wow. this is great. i love the descriptions you used. it is a beautiful poem. what inspiered it? i would just love to know the story behind it. the discriptions you used did wonder a little from the topic and it was a little confusing but it kinda worked. this poem has a heartbreaking feel to it but at the same time it is also happy. congrats on that. it is really hard to do. im looking forward to reading some more of you stuff. congrats on the amazing poem. now a question. do you like tmi or tid. if you dont know what that stands for it the mortal instruments and the infernal devices by cassandra clare. im a huge fan and im looking for more cassandra clare lovers.
sorry about the spelling by the way.
from alilovessandy
alilovessandy, my inspiration for this poem was someone whom I hold very dear. Unfortunately we just happened to meet at the wrong time, but the impact we had on each others lives is very strong. Time and distance really plays no part in our relationship because even when our distance from each other grows farther apart, our bond grows even stronger. As to the heartbreaking yet somehow still happy feel of the piece, that is a direct line into our relationship. It is bittersweet, but I have faith that our paths will rejoin further down in life. As to the tmi or tid question, I apologize but I am not familiar with the author or her works, perhaps I shall look her up though! Thank you very much for reading and for inquiring about my inspiration, I'm glad you enjoyed the poem!
Cheers!
Graham
Lovely poem, it's great. The first line seems to refer to your avatar though. ^V^
It's true we all the people we meet have a place in our heart, a stain on our lives. People like me with a faulty memory will only remember them vaguely though and rely on our hearts to determine friend or foe. I rely on fate though.
I like you thought on all the splendor returning to the sea and especially the title that drew me in with a mysterious allure. I will read your other poems and might comment if I can think of something or put it in words. Later hope to speak with you again. ;0
Thanks for reading and I'm glad you enjoyed it! Although I don't quite understand what you mean when you say the first line seems to refer to my avatar?
Oh never mind. I didn't look clearly.