The bitter wind that is spoken word
Cuts through all protection;
Slicing away at the very nature of her being.
Stripped of her persona, she reveals that which she hides;
The beast inside, awaiting the day it is finally released.
But the monsters which she has encompassed
Are nothing more than myth,
Fables spit out into the world for what some would call
Fun.
Her body is a book –
One that tells a story full of anguish and malice.
Its words are scars left from a blade
Branded upon her skin by the tongue of others.
Each letter, each swift movement of steel reveals more and more
Of who she presumes she really is:
Someone exasperated,
Someone ghastly,
Someone worth…
Nothing.
Disappointment and negativity lie taut around her neck,
Lifting her – a demoralized ascension;
Dangling her from the clouds.
A universal heavenly transpiration
To the clouds is now at a stained, suffocated standstill;
Terminated by the antagonism that is life.
There she hangs, suspended in the air;
She is a symbol. A motif seen all around the world;
A pattern of sorrow, and hate.
Rumors disseminate; a plague of lies and deceit,
Vile in their manner, nefarious enough to make
Her want to die. Slander repeated so many times
Even she thought it true…
Too often we see these bodies, strung up in a tree,
Slumped upon the floor, tossed from roof-tops.
Too often we see people like her depart from our world.
Too often lies are thought to be honorable in their integrity.
But they are not…
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139,614 Literary Works • 672,625 Reviews
The poem befits the title and description very well. You've done a great job here of really, vividly painting these images of hate and despair in my mind. I can sense the dark place that one would have to be stuck in, in order to commit suicide, without actually going there myself.
"Disappointment and negativity lie taut around her neck,
Lifting her – a demoralized ascension;
Dangling her from the clouds.
A universal heavenly transpiration"
I thought this part was sadly interesting. When someone reaches the point where they feel the only way out is to take their own life, I think they actually reached that point in their minds and their spirits long before. That's what I gather from these four lines. The imagery of being hung from the clouds by the negative words of others is very, very controversial. Sad, to know that people find themselves in these places every day.
You've done a great job.
Thank you Gcracker051595!
Great job! Very compelling!
I can't say there's much wrong this poem. It's amazing.
I enjoyed the strong diction and the deep meaning behind the words. The poem did not sound choppy, and flowed with ease.
The words used were stunning and created a angry, hateful tone that resonated nicely. It reveals how much words can hurt, much like knives. The message behind this puts it in a new light, one that everyone should understand. It explains the way a depressed, victimized girl would think beautifully, and shows great emotion, especially sadness.
I truly loved this poem! I think so many people should read it, to understand the meaning, and see how people really feel while in this state of mind.
Cant wait to see more from you!
You have a great poem here! I like the metaphors and imagery that you use. My favorite is the first line " The bitter wind that is spoken word" It puts shivers down my back!
I only have one line you could work on: "Stripped of her persona," This breaks the shivery feel of the poem, Maybe you could choose a different word, like "soul". Just trying to help.
Over all, a great poem. Great wording, great imagery, great every thing! Your talent for writing really shows in this piece.
Pony123