For You

That was very lovely. It had a lot of squishy mushiness to it and it was very cute (I don't know what you think about me calling your poem cute but think of it as a good thing). I see that you've mentioned that you are new to writing poems. I am also new to reviewing poems (well, pretty much anything really), so good for you!

I don't know if it's been mentioned before but the rhythm of this poem is very awkward. In the beginning of some lines, I can feel a bit of solidarity coming on, but when I get to the end of a line, a certain word makes it become a little funky. For instance, in the very beginning you wrote this:

"A glowing diamond at heart the rarest,

but doesn't shine red, when it gets embarrassed,--"

I believe this part of the poem would have flowed better if you omitted the word 'gets', making it turn into this:

"A glowing diamond at heart the rarest,
but does not shine when it's embarrassed"

Another thing I wanted to point out was that maybe you should avoid using contractions (I know I used one in my example but sometimes it's necessary to use them). I don't know if this is a rule in writing poetry but personally I think that some contractions-- any words really-- are to be used for certain poems. For example (this is going to be a terrible example but bear with me), if I were to write about the dress style of the Puritans as a person from that time, I wouldn't use the word... "swagger" or... nevermind.

I think poems about love are usually filled with big, profound words that are usually spread out to express the feelings a little more. You did that though, so cool!

Overall, I like your poem! It's really sweet, and I agree with ArcticMonkey (who's a great reviewer by the way) that there's loads of good imagery in there. Nice poem!

Hi LMJ!

I'll start off by saying that I don't really review poetry that often, or it's more that I don't feel that they're particularly strong but nevertheless I'll try and share my thoughts with you as best as I can! What I liked about this poem was the imagery was really unique and original, that's quite hard to do with love poetry (and songs) but you've done a great job here! There's loads of sorts of colour imagery here too which I like because it really builds a beautiful picture in te readers mind.

This has already been mentioned but I think it's an important thing to say which is that don't feel forced to rhyme! Most poetry doesn't rhyme, and it's mostly because it doesn't really need it. I think the rhymes are actually okay here, however the problem is it sometimes messes up with the flow a bit so next time try leaving the rhymes and see how it works out. With each line I read I kinda felt like the same message was being repeated, and although you worded it really nicely and whatnot it kinda felt a bit repetitive. The problem with that is your reader might lose interest a bit, so you could try changing the subject whilst sticking to the same sort of theme or something like that so that it doesn't all become the same.

Overall, I did enjoy reading this and I think you've done really well at having some unique imagery in this. Next time though, don't feel forced to rhyme! I hope this review helped, feel free to PM me with any questions you have or if you'd like another review on anything.

Keep writing!
~ArcticMonkey x

Awwww that was such a romantic poem. Whether it was real or just a writing idea, you expressed your love for another very well.

But.....there is always a but.

I don't know if this part made sense: "a red rose so simply vibrant, a love token with renown,"

I mean, I don't think renown was used in the right context. That being considered, I also get the feeling that you based what you wrote in your poem largely around what word might rhyme the most next. You catch my meaning?

Look, to be fair, you are lucky it's a great poem. But in the future, if you did do what I am wondering, then be careful. But anyway, rhyming isn't always too important. Poems don't need to rhyme. Mine never do!

But then again, you are your own person. So write the way you like.

Another thing, fix the punctuation in this sentence: "A glowing diamond at heart the rarest,"

Add a comma in there somewhere? Perhaps after "diamond" or "heart"?

Anyway, nice job

Legy,