Watch Me
See Me
Damn Me
You Aren't Watching Close Enough
Look Again
Forget Again
Frown Again
I'm Screaming and You're Not Listening
Look At Me
Don't Understand Me
See Through Me
I'm Lying To You and Spilling My Secrets
Notice It
Catch It
Save It
You'll Regret This and Remember This
You Know Me
You Miss Me
You Lose Me
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140,364 Literary Works • 673,125 Reviews
Hey hey!
This poem is very unique, and I think that's one thing I love so much about it! I think that while this idea you have written about has been written about before, I've never seen it in this type of personal and original flare. I absolutely love it!
I think that poems should be organized and they should also be able to look as good as they sound. It's an odd concept, i';m not scared to admit that, but I do think that it is important for a poem to look appealing. It just adds to the reading experience. Anyway, this poem is very nicely organized. Everything was perfectly in place, and the meaning was the cherry on top of it all!
You have so much talent and this piece really reveals this! You need to keep writing, because this piece in all of its simplicity and yet an original spark really is something poems are missing nowadays! So, yeah! Thanks for sharing!!
Stay classy and write on.
-Annaclare
Annaclare, that was one of the nicest things I've ever read in a comment. Thanks
and I will stay classy!
LMJ
I enjoy the simplicity of the triplets, and the rhythm they provide to tie the four longer lines of the poem together. However, I think that the third triplet needs some work. The variation in the syllables within the triplet really threw me off. I felt the others had a sense of urgency which I liked, but "understand" is quite a cumbersome word, so it slowed the pace. If you can find a way of rephrasing "Don't understand me" I think it would help the poem to build all the way through. All in all though I enjoyed reading it.
I love the simplicity but depth in this poem, the words are so simple, but they mean so much. I love the way it's written with the lines. And the way they progress this, it's like stepping up stairs, but there's a big step every three small step in a relationship that will end. I just, can't explain how good this poem is, it's one of my favorites now. I like that so much passion and depth can be put in so little words.
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I love this poem, like for you! Have a good day