Muscle Memory,
I constrict and reel back,
A knife plunges through and I feel its sharp tip,
I stop and pause in agony,
It's happened again.
My body remembers,
This time it pulses and vomits like last time,
This feeling is universal,
But personal.
Memory in tissue,
It should make you faster and stronger,
Learning like the mind,
Not like this.
I shouldn't have to learn this feeling,
If it's not broken then don't fix it,
But I am broken,
Every single time.
I implode,
My body sinks into this void,
The only light being temptation,
Bright eyes and false smiles.
I recover,
Drum Drum Drum,
I have learnt now,
My body has learned.
It should be easier,
But it never is,
The blade is just as sharp,
And just as scornful.
And wherever you place it,
My chest or in my back,
My Muscle will remember,
Even though I don't want it to.
Next time will be different,
Lies we all tell ourselves,
But lies that must be told,
The Heart remembers,
But I wish it didn't.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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125,021 Literary Works • 672,740 Reviews
Hey hey!
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. I really hope you keep writing! I love your poems, and if you were to ever right in any other genres, I'm sure I would like them too haha. So... yeah 
.
Okay, so I have reviewed your poem "Watch Me", and I remember that I loved it. So, it;s no surprised that when I read this I was just as, or even more so, impressed with this poem. I think that not only the idea was unique but also your approach was near perfection. I really want to review this and give it the credit it deserves... so I'll try lol!
So, what made me gravitate toward this piece was the title "Muscle Memory". Not only was it a clever title, but also very fitting. I have to admit the first thing I thought of when I saw your title was a free throw. I'm an avid basketball player, and when I was younger I was told that muscle memory was the key to free throws. Once my muscles knew the motion and I made it, my muscles would remember the motion so that I would make my free throws constantly. And they were right. So, I'm familiar with muscle memory, both the way I was taught, and what you have taught me, and I will say that the way you described it was perfect!
Anyway, I think that you get my vibe when I say that you have an amazing idea and have carried this idea out with both organization and detail. You have managed to paint a picture of a horrible back stabbing experience through words, and that takes a lot of major talent! So, great job!!!
The only problem I found was a punctuational error. I have to agree with DrakDewDrops with the commas. While poetry is pretty open minded about punctuation, and I like to think I am as well, I would suggest putting in periods in some places. Now, obviously this is just a suggestion. I think that your poem is already mere perfection and this change would just be a way to make it better in my perspective. If you don't want to change it, I don't blame you. It's your piece
Overall, amazing job! I think its time that I subscribe to you! I have read some of your work and I am amazed as to the talent you have! So, yeah you have another follower now
Stay classy and write on.
-Annaclare
Thanks Annaclare, you're always really nice
The commas thing was probably because I wrote this in one straight session and going back through to edit felt like killing the vibe haha. I've gone through and sorted some of the commas. Adding some structure with periods. Hope it works better now but who knows.
This is extremely captivating from the start. However, over time, you lose me due to the constant commas. A lot of the time, periods can help extend the dramatic tone that you seem to crave through the use of new lines with each phrase. Also, if you minimize the use of "I"s or "my"s, it can help make the whole piece even more brought to life. I don't understand your use of "Drum Drum Drum", but as you say, it is a personal feeling, so whatever it means I'm sure you understand and have left the reader to interpret. I also really love the way you end it; it leaves the reader still very attached to the piece and left in the moment.
Great work!