Young Writers Society

Ok I feel a little confused. I thought that these were hand written. Maybe it was just me making assumptions. I liked how the crossing out was working for this one (not to hate on the earlier ones.) This can't be how it ends though. Who is he? Does he like tacos? Circle or no circle smiley face. And im just saying that Auto-correct is the greatest invention EVER!

Hi there Xregion,

So I've read a few others of these. It's an interesting concept: never meeting someone but still managing to fall for them. And I liked how Ariel was unsure whether to say it or not because she could be unsure how the other person would take it. Will the letters stop coming? Will they try to meet? It's an open thing, and I like it

What I wasn't so sure of was the list in the middle of this letter. Maybe you should make this whole letter more descriptive. If this is the only way of a couple communicating, they usually do try and make the most of it. I don't think Ariel should list all those questions. Obviously, if she loves him then she wants him to know things about her too. So instead of asking what his favourite colour is, maybe put it like this:

My favourite colour has always been orange. It's so bright and vibrant. Or it can be dark and mysterious, like the flames in the night. It kind of describes me, in a way. What's your favourite colour?

This way we get to know more about Ariel, and eventually if we get the response of the letter, more about Mr. Anonymous. As well as this it makes this whole piece more fun to read. I think this is something you could do with all the questions, adding twists and that a little bit everywhere. Make it your own! Or more so, make it Ariel's.

Keep up the good work!

Deanie x

Hi,
I really liked this, this made me read up your previous part too. I don't know whether you have given introduction to this story, if you didn't,give it a try it will help a lot to the readers as it simply starts with letters.
The introduction doesn't have to be about the girl or the boy. It can just be about the situation or of the places. And I suggest you to add some description, it doesn't always have to be letters (though the letters are narrative) the author point of view will make it more interesting.
I didn't find any grammatical mistakes of such and the words that you have written in brackets,is it the way how the girl writes in the letter? You should make that clear too.The story has got nice vibe and feel good vibration.I don't know whether I should say this,since you have written in this format I suggest you to read the novel "Where rainbows end" by Cecilia Ahern. That novel also carries out similar story line i.e the story is narrated in the form of letters and chats.This might help you to format your story.
Hope this was helpful.
Keep writing,Good luck!

Cheers!!!