To You,
I keep wondering who you could be, that has been around me all my life. Why do you lurk in the shadows? I am falling in love with you…there. I said it. I haven’t even met you, and I fell for you. I know you have reasons for what you’re doing, but I wish that I could see you so that I could slip my hand into yours and see that you love me too.
I feel like a stupid star struck girl from a movie.
But at the same time, it doesn’t feel stupid to me. It feels wonderful, like a tingly feeling…
Can’t you put a picture in one of the letters or something? But you have to send me these letters!! I hold on to them, read them over and over, and puzzle over the meaning behind them. If you stopped sending me these letters, I think that I would cry…
You mean so much to me…even if I don’t know you. I want to get to know you…
Can you at least give me a clue about your personality or the things you like?
With maybe love With liking-ness,
Ariel
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137,476 Literary Works • 672,034 Reviews
Ok I feel a little confused. I thought that these were hand written. Maybe it was just me making assumptions. I liked how the crossing out was working for this one (not to hate on the earlier ones.) This can't be how it ends though. Who is he? Does he like tacos? Circle or no circle smiley face. And im just saying that Auto-correct is the greatest invention EVER!
I didn't know how to the cross-outs til this letter, so that's why they're only in this one. And I have more, I just haven't posted them...I need to do that.
i wasn't hating just saying its nice
I didn't take it that way
Hi there Xregion,
So I've read a few others of these. It's an interesting concept: never meeting someone but still managing to fall for them. And I liked how Ariel was unsure whether to say it or not because she could be unsure how the other person would take it. Will the letters stop coming? Will they try to meet? It's an open thing, and I like it
What I wasn't so sure of was the list in the middle of this letter. Maybe you should make this whole letter more descriptive. If this is the only way of a couple communicating, they usually do try and make the most of it. I don't think Ariel should list all those questions. Obviously, if she loves him then she wants him to know things about her too. So instead of asking what his favourite colour is, maybe put it like this:
My favourite colour has always been orange. It's so bright and vibrant. Or it can be dark and mysterious, like the flames in the night. It kind of describes me, in a way. What's your favourite colour?
This way we get to know more about Ariel, and eventually if we get the response of the letter, more about Mr. Anonymous. As well as this it makes this whole piece more fun to read. I think this is something you could do with all the questions, adding twists and that a little bit everywhere. Make it your own! Or more so, make it Ariel's.
Keep up the good work!
Deanie x
That was a good suggestion. Thank you!
Hi,
I really liked this, this made me read up your previous part too. I don't know whether you have given introduction to this story, if you didn't,give it a try it will help a lot to the readers as it simply starts with letters.
The introduction doesn't have to be about the girl or the boy. It can just be about the situation or of the places. And I suggest you to add some description, it doesn't always have to be letters (though the letters are narrative) the author point of view will make it more interesting.
I didn't find any grammatical mistakes of such and the words that you have written in brackets,is it the way how the girl writes in the letter? You should make that clear too.The story has got nice vibe and feel good vibration.I don't know whether I should say this,since you have written in this format I suggest you to read the novel "Where rainbows end" by Cecilia Ahern. That novel also carries out similar story line i.e the story is narrated in the form of letters and chats.This might help you to format your story.
Hope this was helpful.
Keep writing,Good luck!
Cheers!!!
The idea of the brackets is that I couldn't find the cross-out button in my earlier letters.
she actually is a bad speller and since on Microsoft Word I can make her font look like handwriting, it is supposed to imply that she is a bad speller. So, they are actually supposed to be cross-outs and yes, she does write like that.
Oh, and also, the idea is that I will establish their relationship through letters and let that introduce my characters and setting. It is like the reader get to know the admirer along with Ariel in the same way. At the very end, I will switch into either first or third person and tell their actually meeting that way; at least, that is the plan. Does that make more sense?
You are the author. It does sounds cool though. So go ahead and try it. And make it interesting!!!
Good luck!!!