I need to yell at you.
*pause while I yell into my pillow*
I feel better now. Not. I want to see you! You have already shown me your (inherrentt) amazing qualities. I can take whatever it is you want to show me! I won’t judge you (hopefully).
Fine! I will write to you, but I have to confess this. I don’t have any idea what I’m doing. I have never had a “boyfriend” before and not that you are one, but I still just want you to know that I have never done anything like this before. So…yeah.
Anyway, how are you? What a stupid question. I am horrible at small talk. I talk about whatever comes to my mind, and everyone else can suffer the consequences. So, let’s talk about lions. They are very big. Did you know that the biggest lion weighed almost 700 lbs? I wish I could have seen that...They also have very good senses. They can see almost five times better than a human! They could track you from so far away! They can also can hear prey from over a mile away! ...What am I doing?...See, this is what happens when I don't know what to say; I just start rambling! Sorry. That was weird.
Why do you write with like perfect grammar and stuff? It seems beautifully formal. Not that I don’t like it, just wondering. It is (flatering) flattering that you care that much to write like that.