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Dear Josh (Letter 1)

by Xreigon


Dear Josh,

I wish so many things. I wish my mom was still around. I wish you hadn't left. I wish I knew I would send this letter to you. I wish I knew where to send this letter to you. In the end, it might take up a permanent home under my bed...the place where all of your old letters are.

Remember when we were younger and you would write to me about what we would do once we were old enough to get married? Remember your first letter to me? It was so awkward. Remember when you told me you loved me?

Remember when you promised to stay?

I remember some of my letters to you. I had times where I just poured out a constant stream of feeling, showing my love for you. I remember when I told you my life story and the next time I saw you, you just pulled me into your arms and told me you cared.

Why didn't you reply to my last letter? You have confused me. What did I do to deserve the sudden scorn you give me? I don't understand. And then, you packed up. You left.

You left, Josh! You left! You didn't even come to say goodbye or explain... My heart is breaking!!!! I don't know what I did! How could you just leave after all the times you told me you loved me?!

Did you never mean it?

The least you could have done was give me a reason. A reason for why I am not important anymore. Did I say something bad? After all the things we went through together, you could have at least given me a reason for leaving.

Can you at least give me your address so I can send you this letter? No...nevermind. I have decided this letter will stay under my bed with the others. A reminder of the folly of being attached to someone.

Goodbye forever,

Lacy Dane


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Sat Jul 13, 2013 5:40 pm
Xreigon says...



To everyone who thinks the line about the mom is out of place:

That line was intended to start a letter that Lacy just began writing. The letter later honed in on her relationship with Josh, but it might not have been what she intended the letter to be about when she started it. I can use this line as a lead in to a future letter that touches more on this subject, so I am choosing to leave it in there, but thank you for your feedback!




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Sat Jul 13, 2013 1:41 pm
cgirl1118 wrote a review...



This is a very beautiful piece of work. It is very heartbreaking.

First off, "I wish my mom was still around". What does that have to do with everything else. YOu are talking about how Josh left not about your mom. Maybe you should take that out.

Second, I love the emotion in this. It makes us as readers feel angry and sad because Josh left without a notice. That's great in writing because it connects the reader to the writing piece.

Third, the last part when she said "Goodbye Forever" is just sad. But I see you have made more letters so now I feel happy that it is not a goodbye forever.


Excellent work! I am definitely reading more.




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Sat Jul 13, 2013 1:34 pm
racket wrote a review...



This is a beautiful piece of work. I can tell you really thought this through and put some love into this work. I will list the things I like and want you to do in future pieces and the things that need work, and then some questions I have.
Things I liked:

#1 . You can really feel Lacy's frustration, sadness, how mad she is, disappointment, and how she's hurt by what Josh did. This is often really hard to capture in literature and you did a remarkably good job at it. I am very impressed.
#2. I do like how Lacy keeps referring to how she keeps Josh's letters under her bed. It creates a feeling that you know Lacy because you can relate to her. I can relate to her, so......
#3.
"You left, Josh! You left!! You didn't even come to say goodbye or explain... My heart is breaking!!!! I don't know what I did! how could you just leave after all the times you told me you loved me?!"
This paragraph is my personal favorite. You can feel all her emotions mix and exactly how she feels by all the punctuation. It's very heart melting, the way she says these things. It makes me want to comfort her.

Things I didn't like.

#1 . I don't know what the sentence "I wish my mom was still around." It seems sort of pushed in, with no reason.
#2. I don't like that you do such a good proofreading job, I don't have to tell you anything else I don't like. :D

Questions I have.

#1 . What does the sentence stated in #1 . in things I didn't like mean?
#2. Is this the way you feel with someone else?
#3. Is this based on real people?

All in all, you have created some great literature and I can't wait to read more. Bravo!!

~Racket




Xreigon says...


To answer your questions: :)

#1. I intended to touch more on this subject and on the subject of her past in later letters, tying this in to how Josh helped her with this. It could be a lead into the next letter.

#2. It was sort of based on the way I felt about someone else. I wrote this late one night when I was missing one of my best friends; it was mostly just a pour out of emotion.

#3. Again, not really based on a set of actual people, but based on emotions I was feeling at the time when I wrote it.

I hope that answers your questions. Thank you for the review!



Xreigon says...


*intend



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Fri Sep 14, 2012 6:34 am
ShakespeareWallah wrote a review...



Hi there,

So, the letter's quite interesting. it's actually quite good. And at points you really stood out in portraying the emotions and the frustrations of Lacy.

A reason for why I was not important anymore

#tense Check #
Can you at least give me your address so I can send you this letter? No...nevermind. I have decided this letter will stay under my bed with the others


this is the part I liked most,also the part where I was confused most. Unitl this part, one just thought it was a letter. but you make it clear in here, that it's an unsent letter.

That she's keeping it to herself and that Josh won't ever get to know about this.

Keep writing,

Puck




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Fri Sep 14, 2012 1:34 am
ShadowVyper wrote a review...



Hey Xreigon!

I've never actually read anything like this letter before, so I'm not entirely sure how the best way to go about reviewing it would be.

You've definitely written an interesting letter, filled with emotion, presumably from the view of a teenage girl to an ex-boyfriend. I like the language you used in your letter, and the conversational way that you presented it- it really gave me a feel for the pain that the author of the letter was no doubt feeling at the time.

The only thing I saw that I'd change is:

My heart is breaking!!!!
~ I don't like a lot of punctuation at the end of a sentence. I tend to recomend one sign per end of a sentence- therefore, one exclaimation point, not four.

Anyway, over all a good letter, and I intend on going to "Dear Lucy" next.

~Shady





I lingered round them, under that benign sky: watched the moths fluttering among the heath and harebells, listened to the soft wind breathing through the grass, and wondered how any one could ever imagine unquiet slumbers for the sleepers in that quiet earth.
— Emily Bronte, Wuthering Heights