Make Up The Worst Possible Opening Line Ever

Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess...


(Talk about cliche I am braindead and I should assume braindeadness should come up with better bad first lines then that)

There once was a cuddly bear named Cuddles who had the cutest red bow on his fluffy neck...

Talk about cuddly!

By the way it ends with me dying.

Sorry i couldn't help myself writing that.
I did it in my english lesson when i was ill.

They say a journey of a thousand miles begins with one step- I say it begins with two toddlers crying, a leaky diaper, a car overloaded with suitcases and a whiny teenager. Don't forget the innumerable toilet stops. "

"So, you see, there was this thread on one internet forum I visit, and it was about making up the worst possible opening line ever, so I wrote one and then thought it might actually lead into an awesome story, so here goes..."

If you are reading thsi novel you are a brain dead idiot who should bugger off and write one of your own. STOP TRYING TO STEAL MY WORK.

There it stood-a ripe, glowing mass that just radiated light and a seductive citrusy smell.

"What a beautiful orange," I murmured in awe, glorying in the breathtaking sight. "I think I just might eat that."

"Let me tell you a story."

So, I have to share this with story with you.




...there is soooo much wrong with that line it's ridiculous.

Once upon a time in a land far far away...



SO OVER USED!!!!

The teacher opened her book and began writing sums on the board, while the students bent their heads over their books and began doing them.

Okay, so, well, this story is really, really long, so I might as well tell you how it ends now: XY dies first, YX dies last, ZY is the murderer.

Oh, do author's notes count?

'Cause if so:

A/N: [standard disclaimer] but [Mary Sue] is MINE!!1 Don't right about her w/o my permish, OR ELSE!!!1 lol.

Once upon a time, there was a guy called Steve who loved to ski.


My other one was better.
EDIT: Or...uh...worse? Lol

The End.