Make Up The Worst Possible Opening Line Ever

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This is Spot.
This is George.
This is Jane.
This is Jack.

...get the picture?
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"I think I'd miss you even if we'd never met." -The Wedding Date




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I’m not Paula, I’m her husband. She’s dead. I still can’t believe it as I type this.

I actually used this once, but it was just because I was bored, not seriously writing.
"One voice can be stronger than a thousand voices, " Captain Kathryn Janeway




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"Look out!" he screamed.
She turned and screamed, too-- but it was only a bug. "Silly me!" she said.
"Yeah," he said. "I guess there was no danger."

(I hate books that seem to be starting off well, and then you realize that the opening was a completely useless bit of "danger" to draw you in.)
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bob and jane liked to eat. so they started eating together... etc....
if you were to die today, would you be able to tell yourself that you did everything you wanted and everything you could?
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life is a puzzle. want to put it together with me?




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If you're reading this, that means what happened actually happened.

...

What?
My high school senior mascot is a dragon. Take that, monkey!

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You know that the day's gonna suck when the
@# *&@#)%*&@# English muffin won't come out of the #@*&%)(#@**%$(#@ FREAKIN' TOASTER!

__________
XD
ohmeohmy




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Hi, my name is *insert boring name here* and this book is all about me!
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"In the end she dies."

I really read this next one once:
"As I sat there, squinting against the bright light shining down on me and the tall silhouetted figure bent menacingly over me, all I could think was, Well, it coulda worked."
The beautiful part of writing is that you don't have to get it right the first time, unlike, say, a brain surgeon.
~ Robert Cormier




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I'm bored.
Be yourself; everybody else is already taken.

I came, I saw, I conquered.

When you're being nice to your character, you're being bad to your book.




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Because I have such a brillant mind I can twist an opening line from David Copperfeild and make it my own! (sorta)

I was born, I grew up, I died... Thats the jist of it, would you like the details?
I just lost the game.




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"Me oh my, I'm late for my date with Bob!" Aggie cried, her long blonde hair flowing behind her like the tail of the White Rabbit in Alice and Wonderland.

"It just won't do," Madison stated, licking her chops covered in Dorito cheese. "I just can't do my homework."
"I will have to tell you, you have bewitched me body and soul..." --Mr. Darcy, P & P, 2005 movie
"You pierce my soul." --Cpt. Frederick Wentworth

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After my seventh vasectomy things started to get bad...and I mean really bad, here I'll take you on a journey to show you just how bad things got.
But that is not the question. Why we are here, that is the question. And we are blessed in this, that we happen to know the answer. Yes, in this immense confusion one thing alone is clear. We are waiting for Godot to come. -Beckett




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Harry has been burdened with a dark, dangerous and seemingly impossible task: that of locating and destroying Voldemort's remaining Horcruxes.


rofl.




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Dear Terinalorachanibellitinalauramabellaedwinanancybetsybeckyalliceafinia...
Jennafina's Love Your Body Already Dammit Campaign

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(To find out what it really is, just click.)




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If you are reading this, stop! Close this book and put it back on the shelf right now! Why would you care about my story anyway?


That is so annoying, especially when it's drawing you into a boring book of nothingness.
i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart) <3

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