Make Up The Worst Possible Opening Line Ever

Love is mush. And mush is love. And mush is very brown muck. Mushy love. Of muck. Very. Ummm...brown.

(That was fun!)

She looked up as a man walked out of the shadows - at a quick estimate, she reckoned that he was about as tall as a six foot three inch tree.

"Day one of my five moth experiment with mold. I put a tomato on the counter, and watched carfeully for any changes..."

"I smell, I smell, I smell...a dog."

"His name was Allen Dawkins. He was a very furry man."

HELLO AND THIS IS MY BOOK IT'S MY FIRST BOOK SO I HOPE YOU ENJOY IT UNFORTUNATELY THE COMPUTER I AM USING TO TYPE THIS ON IS BROKEN AND THE PUBLISHER COULDN'T FIX THE CAPS FOR SOME REASON OH YEAH THE COMMA AND PERIOD KEYS ARE BROKEN TOO SO TRY NOTTOBEANNOYEDOHCRAPNOWTHESPACEBARISBROKEN

My first attempt. Hope I made you laugh. X3

"What's that waaaay big blue thing that's like a gzillion miles above my head?" the preppy blonde asked, sounding as if it were a cheer.

"It's called the sky," her fellow dog-walker said.


RANDOM!!!!

LOL, Jetman!! That was good.

Jim ate the bread. It was yummy. But it gave him a stomachache. So he threw up. That was messy. His mom didn't like it. ...

Nice, Gambler, that was perfect.

"Once upon a time in a happy, nice, good, fun, joyful place the smurfs were dancing and smiling..."

It was a dark - yes, very dark, i suppose - and stormy night. I was, I was...I was...oh, okay - It was a dark and stormy - was it?

Once upon a time
There was a big old mime
Who could turn on a dime
From a good guy to slime
This whole book with be
Rhyming, as you see
And will drive you crazy
Hee hee hee!
...

DARN THIS CAPS LOCK IS BROKEN I DUN KNOW WHAT TO WRITE DDDDDDDDAMDDDDDDN ITDDDDDD THSI SSSDSSDSDS IS SO STUPID! I WANT TO CRASH ON THE KEYBOARDsfsadfjdsfasadrrewaoJ STopjkfdsjrewa fup reaopjgfuorvewazpiojfpdsaijsdijfasisfaifdsa.

A preface to Writer's Block.

Love ya, Shaf.

Love ya, too, Wiggy!

This isn't mine (I got it from school) but I still think that it's hilarious:

"Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field towards each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph."

and

"The thunder was ominous-sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play."