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symptoms of life



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Sun Mar 15, 2020 7:00 pm
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ShapeOfVoid says...



Image


Spoiler! :
i'll write maybe one ten poems



INDEX



1. In Between the Lines
2. Remains Of Faith
3. The Only Thing You'll learn is that Nostalgia can't be Described
4. My Mind is Blue (and Red)
5. It's All the Forevers who are at Fault
6. 'Rain' sounds like 'Love'
7.
Last edited by ShapeOfVoid on Thu Apr 16, 2020 4:07 pm, edited 13 times in total.
I was eleven years old
and I'd lost my mother,
and my soul.
And the crucible
gave me you.

mA
  





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87 Reviews



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Points: 3551
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Wed Apr 01, 2020 9:43 pm
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ShapeOfVoid says...



Spoiler! :
did i plan to have a theme? yes. did i follow through? no.
what d'ya expect, me to conform to the limitations i set two weeks prior, when i was undoubtedly more immature than my current self? hah.
here's my first poem for Napo 2020:


1.

In Between the Lines


Image
Image
Image
I was eleven years old
and I'd lost my mother,
and my soul.
And the crucible
gave me you.

mA
  





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Wed Apr 01, 2020 10:59 pm
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alliyah says...



Love love love what you're doing with formatting in this first one @hiraeth - the concept of "between the lines" in poetry is neat. Looking forward to keeping up with your thread this month!
but i still don't think i can ever love someone
who doesn't understand that teal
is a different color than dark cyan.

my capitalization choices
are intentional


  





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Thu Apr 02, 2020 5:57 am
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Arcticus says...



"Today I made you blush"

I love the feel of this idea, of stirring something in someone else, in this case - seeing someone blush because of you. Ah that's some really cute imagery.
You either worship something higher than yourself or end up worshiping yourself

Naturally Tipsy ©
  





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Thu Apr 02, 2020 6:20 pm
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ShapeOfVoid says...



@alliyah @Arcticus ahhh thanks guys!
I was eleven years old
and I'd lost my mother,
and my soul.
And the crucible
gave me you.

mA
  





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87 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 3551
Reviews: 87
Thu Apr 02, 2020 11:27 pm
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ShapeOfVoid says...



Spoiler! :
poem number 2 has sub-parts. because i got carried away and i do not have the guts to delete shit anymore


2.

Remains Of Faith


| 2 point 1 |

Image
Image


| 2 point 2 |

Image
Image
I was eleven years old
and I'd lost my mother,
and my soul.
And the crucible
gave me you.

mA
  





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Thu Apr 02, 2020 11:53 pm
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Liberty says...



Oh wow, hiraeth, your poems are awesome! The formatting is super cool and your word choices are super neat because they make the imagery so sharp! I'm eager to see more <3
teen·a·ger
noun
/tee·nei·jr/
when you're too young for half the things you want to do and too old to do the other half.
  





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Thu Apr 02, 2020 11:56 pm
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ShapeOfVoid says...



thank you so much, @Liberty <3
I was eleven years old
and I'd lost my mother,
and my soul.
And the crucible
gave me you.

mA
  





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Fri Apr 03, 2020 12:13 am
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Querencia says...



Lovely second poem, hiraeth! I like how the first and last parts connect to each other. :)
This part,
Read my words
Goodbye
Means I love you,
See ya, someday
Means I’ll think of you again,
always.
(Everyday)

Your picture like a hologram before my eyes
you will not be there
but you will be there
a watermark, an overlay
over everything I see.

hit me sooooo hard and is really the best way to describe saying goodbye but meaning something more and thinking of them always. <3
>Previously Falconer<

All I want is to write and be happy. c:
  





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Fri Apr 03, 2020 8:41 am
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CqpM8012 says...



Formatting is so so good! Like it a lot!
Medicine, law, business, engineering,
these are noble pursuits, and necessary to sustain life
But poetry, beauty, romance, love
these are what we stay alive for
- Dead poets society
  





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87 Reviews



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Sat Apr 04, 2020 10:20 pm
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ShapeOfVoid says...



3.

The Only Thing You'll learn is that Nostalgia can't be Described


Image
I was eleven years old
and I'd lost my mother,
and my soul.
And the crucible
gave me you.

mA
  





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461 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 3266
Reviews: 461
Sun Apr 05, 2020 4:58 am
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Querencia says...



Ooh I love the formatting you did with this one @hiraeth! For some reason the flowers just fit really well with nostalgia. I particularly like your last four lines, especially your soul being less full. <33
>Previously Falconer<

All I want is to write and be happy. c:
  





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Sun Apr 05, 2020 4:48 pm
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mckaylaam says...



All of your poems so far are lovely, but my favorite would have to be your second one, remains of faith. I think the part that hit me the most was this:
But I sew my eyes shut
because there are tears now, pools of it
running down your skin
and you don't say anything
because some of it is yours too.

What an extremely bittersweet poem. Keep up the amazing work!
And I love the thought of being with you,
or maybe it's the thought of not being so alone.


  





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87 Reviews



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Sun Apr 05, 2020 5:13 pm
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ShapeOfVoid says...



Spoiler! :
so. this one. i'm sorry. this one is kinda,,, not very happy. it's about, obviously, covid. and mental health.

4.

My Mind is Blue (and Red)

Image
I was eleven years old
and I'd lost my mother,
and my soul.
And the crucible
gave me you.

mA
  





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87 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 3551
Reviews: 87
Sun Apr 05, 2020 5:45 pm
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ShapeOfVoid says...



@mckaylaam @Querencia thank you so much!
I was eleven years old
and I'd lost my mother,
and my soul.
And the crucible
gave me you.

mA
  








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