symptoms of life

22 posts1, 2
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trashykawa
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Points 4055
Reviews 98
Sun Mar 15, 2020 7:00 pm
trashykawa says... · Sun Mar 15, 2020 7:00 pm
Image


Spoiler
i'll write maybe one ten poems



INDEX



1. In Between the Lines
2. Remains Of Faith
3. The Only Thing You'll learn is that Nostalgia can't be Described
4. My Mind is Blue (and Red)
5. It's All the Forevers who are at Fault
6. 'Rain' sounds like 'Love'
7.
Last edited by trashykawa on Thu Apr 16, 2020 4:07 pm, edited 13 times in total.
I was eleven years old
and I'd lost my mother,
and my soul.
And the crucible
gave me you.

mA
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trashykawa
Gender Female
Points 4055
Reviews 98
Wed Apr 01, 2020 9:43 pm
trashykawa says... · Wed Apr 01, 2020 9:43 pm
Spoiler
did i plan to have a theme? yes. did i follow through? no.
what d'ya expect, me to conform to the limitations i set two weeks prior, when i was undoubtedly more immature than my current self? hah.
here's my first poem for Napo 2020:


1.

In Between the Lines


Image
Image
Image
I was eleven years old
and I'd lost my mother,
and my soul.
And the crucible
gave me you.

mA
Quote




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alliyah
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Wed Apr 01, 2020 10:59 pm
alliyah says... · Wed Apr 01, 2020 10:59 pm
Love love love what you're doing with formatting in this first one @hiraeth - the concept of "between the lines" in poetry is neat. Looking forward to keeping up with your thread this month!
you should know i am a time traveler &
there is no season as achingly temporary as now
but i have promised to return
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Arcticus
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Thu Apr 02, 2020 5:57 am
Arcticus says... · Thu Apr 02, 2020 5:57 am
"Today I made you blush"

I love the feel of this idea, of stirring something in someone else, in this case - seeing someone blush because of you. Ah that's some really cute imagery.
You either worship something higher than yourself or end up worshiping yourself

Naturally Tipsy ©
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trashykawa
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Thu Apr 02, 2020 6:20 pm
trashykawa says... · Thu Apr 02, 2020 6:20 pm
@alliyah @Arcticus ahhh thanks guys!
I was eleven years old
and I'd lost my mother,
and my soul.
And the crucible
gave me you.

mA
Quote




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trashykawa
Gender Female
Points 4055
Reviews 98
Thu Apr 02, 2020 11:27 pm
trashykawa says... · Thu Apr 02, 2020 11:27 pm
Spoiler
poem number 2 has sub-parts. because i got carried away and i do not have the guts to delete shit anymore


2.

Remains Of Faith


| 2 point 1 |

Image
Image


| 2 point 2 |

Image
Image
I was eleven years old
and I'd lost my mother,
and my soul.
And the crucible
gave me you.

mA
Quote




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Lib
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Points 825
Reviews 453
Thu Apr 02, 2020 11:53 pm
Lib says... · Thu Apr 02, 2020 11:53 pm
Oh wow, hiraeth, your poems are awesome! The formatting is super cool and your word choices are super neat because they make the imagery so sharp! I'm eager to see more <3
*insert quirky signature here*
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trashykawa
Gender Female
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Reviews 98
Thu Apr 02, 2020 11:56 pm
trashykawa says... · Thu Apr 02, 2020 11:56 pm
thank you so much, @Liberty <3
I was eleven years old
and I'd lost my mother,
and my soul.
And the crucible
gave me you.

mA
Quote




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Que
Gender Female
Points 13897
Reviews 551
Fri Apr 03, 2020 12:13 am
Que says... · Fri Apr 03, 2020 12:13 am
Lovely second poem, hiraeth! I like how the first and last parts connect to each other. :)
This part,
Read my words
Goodbye
Means I love you,
See ya, someday
Means I’ll think of you again,
always.
(Everyday)
Your picture like a hologram before my eyes
you will not be there
but you will be there
a watermark, an overlay
over everything I see.

hit me sooooo hard and is really the best way to describe saying goodbye but meaning something more and thinking of them always. <3
Parlez-vous français?
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CqpM8012
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Points 283
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Fri Apr 03, 2020 8:41 am
CqpM8012 says... · Fri Apr 03, 2020 8:41 am
Formatting is so so good! Like it a lot!
Medicine, law, business, engineering,
these are noble pursuits, and necessary to sustain life
But poetry, beauty, romance, love
these are what we stay alive for
- Dead poets society
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trashykawa
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Reviews 98
Sat Apr 04, 2020 10:20 pm
trashykawa says... · Sat Apr 04, 2020 10:20 pm

3.

The Only Thing You'll learn is that Nostalgia can't be Described


Image
I was eleven years old
and I'd lost my mother,
and my soul.
And the crucible
gave me you.

mA
Quote




User avatar
Que
Gender Female
Points 13897
Reviews 551
Sun Apr 05, 2020 4:58 am
Que says... · Sun Apr 05, 2020 4:58 am
Ooh I love the formatting you did with this one @hiraeth! For some reason the flowers just fit really well with nostalgia. I particularly like your last four lines, especially your soul being less full. <33
Parlez-vous français?
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mckaylaam
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Points 3561
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Sun Apr 05, 2020 4:48 pm
mckaylaam says... · Sun Apr 05, 2020 4:48 pm
All of your poems so far are lovely, but my favorite would have to be your second one, remains of faith. I think the part that hit me the most was this:
But I sew my eyes shut
because there are tears now, pools of it
running down your skin
and you don't say anything
because some of it is yours too.

What an extremely bittersweet poem. Keep up the amazing work!

--
"And I love the thought of being with you,
or maybe it's the thought of not being so alone."
♡
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trashykawa
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Points 4055
Reviews 98
Sun Apr 05, 2020 5:13 pm
trashykawa says... · Sun Apr 05, 2020 5:13 pm
Spoiler
so. this one. i'm sorry. this one is kinda,,, not very happy. it's about, obviously, covid. and mental health.

4.

My Mind is Blue (and Red)

Image
I was eleven years old
and I'd lost my mother,
and my soul.
And the crucible
gave me you.

mA
Quote




User avatar
trashykawa
Gender Female
Points 4055
Reviews 98
Sun Apr 05, 2020 5:45 pm
trashykawa says... · Sun Apr 05, 2020 5:45 pm
@mckaylaam @Querencia thank you so much!
I was eleven years old
and I'd lost my mother,
and my soul.
And the crucible
gave me you.

mA
Quote

22 posts1, 2


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