Corrupt a Wish [3]

Granted. Now we're all dead because of a few cults decided to kill us.
I wish I knew more languages.

Granted, but now you speak in a jumbled spree of nonsense nobody can understand!

I wish I owned a Krispy Kreme's Doughnut shop so I could eat them whenever I wanted...

Granted, but they are completely disgusting.

I wish I was a member of the 4400.

Granted, but that makes it 4401, and it is no longer 4400. :O

I wish I could win the contest I'm trying to enter.

Granted, but the prize is that you have to give away all your points to the other contestants.

I wish I could run faster.

Granted, but you run so fast that By the time you realize that you've gotten where you are going, you've already overshot.

I wish I was promicin positive.

Granted but your superhuman abilities include having the ability to write really bad novels in one day and being able to sharpen a pencil with your nostrils.
I wish I didn't make this wish.

Granted, but then I can't corrupt this wish.

I wish that the next person was promicin positive.

Granted, but after spending five minutes looking it up becasue I didn't know what it meant you would be my first victim from it.

I wish I know every word in the english dictionary.

Granted. You now know all the words in the English dictionary but do not know what any of them mean.

I wish I my novel would write itself.

Granted, but your novel likes making horrible jokes, has a hard time remembering what it is supposed to be about, and loves explicit sex scenes.

I wish more people knew what promicin was

Granted, but now the world is disappoint because promicin isn't actually real.

I wish my left eye would stop twitching

Granted, you have only one eye now, though.

I wish I had a witty wish to wish.

Granted, but your wish was for nothing and the next person decided not to corrupt it thus you recieved nothing.

I wish my two nickels became a dime.

Granted, but it's a toy dime and you can't get your money back.

I wish it would rain for a couple hours.