Twilight Parody(Gory Shocking Ending)Hunting Death

147 posts1 ... 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10
User avatar
Gender None specified
Points 790
Reviews 2
Everyone collapsed on their knees, trembling in uncontrollable spasms of fear. They knew who their enemy was, and it shocked them. How would they ever survive? What other monstrosity would be produced?

Emmet covered his eras as he heard Miley Cirus singing.

"That was just awful," he heard Simon from American Idol say.

POW! Boomed a gunshot.

"You're so mean to me you British nanny!" Miley shrieked.

"You killed Simon you teenage slut!" shouted Randy.

Emmet peeked out from his closed eyes. He found himself on a stage, along with everybody else, and.. Miley.

Randy ducked down behind his judge table just as Miley began to fire off shots randomly. One of them struck the wood inches in front of the guest judges chest.

Rand's large form popped out from behind the table carrying a rocket launcher. As Miley was reloading her gun he fired the rocket. It whistled through the air missing Miley.

"No!" Edward said dashing toward the streaking rocket. He grasped the rocket and threw it toward Miley like a baseball. The explosion was massive and Miley was no more.

"Bravo!" Randy and the other judge said. The American Idol music played in the background.


"Yes, good job Gothic boy!" the other judge said.

"Just for that you are the next America Idol!" both judges said at once.

Edward shrugged and walked toward the others who were open mouthed.

"Now that was some crazy s@#t," Ellis said.




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 37408
Reviews 182
A bleep censored his language. "Hey, what the f%#5!" Ellis said.

"Easy my country accented friend that kind of language isn't allowed on broadcast television," Randy said, putting his RPG away.

"So, are you going to sing the triumph song?" the female judge said.

Link stiffed a laugh as Edward began to sing in his dead voice.

"A moment like this, I can't believe it's happening to me..." Edward sang in his depressed sounding voice. "You know what? Forget it, you can be the next American Idol Randy."

Randy shrugged and gave Edward a round of applause. Suddenly one of the doors at the back of the stage burst open and a tall figure in a yellow ninja outfit stepped on the stage.

Mario put a hand to his mouth as the figure looked from him to the others, his eyes locked on Link.

"You!" the ninja said pointing a finger at Link.

"No Scorpion! I will not accept your offer to challenge you in Mortal Kombat!" Link spat at him.

Zoey and Ellis hid behind Edward and Emmet.

Jacob who was still dizzy for some reason was trying to make sense of the whole scene. He gave up after his borderline mentally retarded mind lost steam.

"Come here!" Scorpion said tossing a spear toward Link said.

"No! You come here!" Link said shooting his chain grapple gun. It knocked Scorpions roped spear aside and wrapped itself around Scorpions legs. He lost his a balance and hit the stage floor with a sickening thud.

Link grunted as he dragged Scorpion across the stage toward him.

Scorpion burst into flame and then he was gone.

"Where'd he-" Mario began to say before he was launched into the air by an unseen force.

Link had forgotten that Scorpion being a demon ninja could teleport at will. Link raised his sword as Scorpion materialized on the other side of the stage. Scorpion broke into a martial arts stance.

"Round one, FIGHT!" boomed a voice.

Jacob looked around confused.

"It's just Shau Kahn," Edward said. "Haven't you ever played any of the Mortal Kombat games?"

"Oh, that's who the narrator always is?" Jacob said.

"Yes,Taylor Lautner, I am the fight announcer of Mortal Kombat II and III!" Shau Kahn said. "By the way, I think I hate you!"

Jacob jumped off stage and ran away crying like a little girl.

An invisible audience laughed in the background.

"Shut up! You don't add any hilarity to sitcoms!" Edward roared.

"Ohhh!" the invisible audience said.

"I thought I said-" Edward began.

"No, you shut up my creation!" Stephanie Myer bellowed.

Edward ran to the others and said, "Let's get out of here."
"Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?”
-John 11:25-26




User avatar
Gender None specified
Points 790
Reviews 2
*We seem to be the only people who are contributing lately*




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 37408
Reviews 182
The moment that Jacob pushed open the door to the hall everybody was enveloped in a white light. The light quickly faded and they found themselves in a city road. Cars swerved madly around them. Tires squealed on the road as drivers slammed down on the brakes.

Jacob, Ellis, and Zoey screamed right before a car overtook them. Zoey's head crunched under the cars tires. Ellis and Jacob were thrown back by the impact. Their heads bashed onto the ground. Ellis was knocked unconscious and bled to death. Jacob skidded on the ground and gave one last breath and died.

Edward shrugged, "I guess we should get off the road, there's no need to hold back traffic."

"Here we go!" Mario said leading the way toward the curb.
"Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?”
-John 11:25-26




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 805
Reviews 336
Suddenly, a vortex opened up and Elizbeth was spit out onto the stage.

"WTF? This is not my storybook?" she said with a bored look upon her face. She walked over to Jacob and tapped his arm.

"Hey, do you know how I could get back into my storybook? I seemed to have gotten lost. Oh and I just killed my old boyfriend from the 60's" she said in a bored tone.

"Oh, yeah. Just go through the vortex, take a right then go foreword like a mile then you'll hit it right away" he said.

"Thanks" she replied before stepping into the consuming sucking vortex. Just as the vortex was closing Randy and Miley's dead body was also sucked into the vortex. The three were never to be seen again...or would they?
I am nothing
but a mouthful of 'sorry's, half-hearted
apologies that roll of my tongue, smoothquick, like 'r's
or maybe like pocket candy
that's just a bit too sweet.

~*~




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 37408
Reviews 182
That happened a few seconds ago in an alternate reality moments before Jacob, Ellis, and Zoey died a hilariously tragic death.

"OK, narrator we get it," Emmet said.

NO you don't!
"Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?”
-John 11:25-26




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 805
Reviews 336
"I'm confused. Narrator dude confused me! Can the narrator explain please...OR MY MONKEY WARRIORS WILL ATTACK!!" a small child who appeared out of nowhere shrieked. The small child them held out a machine gun and pointed it at Emmett who unluckily was next to psycho-spaz demon child.
I am nothing
but a mouthful of 'sorry's, half-hearted
apologies that roll of my tongue, smoothquick, like 'r's
or maybe like pocket candy
that's just a bit too sweet.

~*~




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 37408
Reviews 182
The kid opened fire. His rams jerked back as the recoil of the gun pushed them back.

Emmet shrugged as the bullets bounced off him.

One of the bullets ricocheted off his chest and hit the boy in the face.

The boy fell backwards onto the floor.

"Where are we?" Link said pulling his bow out and pointing it at random people. He shrieked as a car honked at him.

"Hey, you Peter Pan!" a man inside called out. "Why are you wearing panty hoes?"

Link pulled out his boomerang and tossed it at the car. The boomerang bounced off and spun back to Link, hitting him in the eye. "OHCH!"

"HAHA!" the guy said before the driver zoomed off.
"Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?”
-John 11:25-26




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 37408
Reviews 182
Link and the others walked the gritty city streets and alleys. They flinched at every sound.

"Mama mia!" Mario exclaimed as a stray dog knocked over a trash bin.

"Getting a little paranoid are we my friend?" Edward said.

"Oh shi-" Emmet said as a man in a red trench-coat slammed another against a dumpster.

"Give me your wallet or I blow your brains out!" Trenchcoat snarled pressing a gun against the other man's temple.

There was a loud popping boom and a splatter of red erupted from the side of the Trenchcoat's head. Pink raw beef like matter spread on the rain moistened ground.

A man wearing a khaki coat and hat was holding a smoking silver gun. Link stared mesmerized as the man wearing a white eyeless mask with black stains walked forward as if he could see perfectly fine.

"Rorschach?" Edward said.

Rorschach ignored him and walked past without even glancing at him.

The man that was getting mugged ran off. The muggers dead body continued to leak blood. Sirens blared in the distance.
"Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?”
-John 11:25-26




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 805
Reviews 336
Elizebeth jumped out of the vortex and into her storybook. She stared for ten minutes looking at Raptor save the boring humans before deeming the other storybook more fun and returning. She popped out and Miley Cyrus magically came back to life along with Randy.

"Nobody's PERFECT! You live and you learn IT! Again and Aga-" she started to shriek off key before Rorschach blew her brains out.

"Now that Miley's dead I have no one to critique!" Randy sobbed.

"I'll Sing for you!!" screamed Brock the second he came out of the vortex.

"Gotta catch'em all! Your my best friend! Pokemon!" he started to sing before Link interupted.

"Dude, why don't your eyes open?" he asked.

"Same reason your wearing panty hose" Brock replied before going back to singing.
I am nothing
but a mouthful of 'sorry's, half-hearted
apologies that roll of my tongue, smoothquick, like 'r's
or maybe like pocket candy
that's just a bit too sweet.

~*~




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 37408
Reviews 182
Stephanie Myer interrupted them. "You fools! Do you not know I could kill you all right now?! I'm just letting you live for my amusement!" her voice echoed throughout the city.

Rorschach looked up at Stephanie Myer's head in the dark blanket of clouds that bloated out the moon and stars. "That is the most sickening sight I have ever seen," he said in what was almost a whisper.

"I heard that, you sociopath!" she called down to him.

"You sound like a retarded child," he called back to her.
"Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?”
-John 11:25-26




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 805
Reviews 336
Elizebeth magically grew wings and burst into the sky where Mormon-loving Stephanie Meyer was sitting on a cloud with Drake screaming into a giant microphone.

"WOAH! When did you get here?" Stephanie yelled.

"You the, you the best, best I ever had best I ever had best I ever had, I said you the you the be-" Drake started to sing to Elizebeth before she interrupted.

"Hey! OMG! Your.....Jimmy from Degrassi! How did you feel towards Spinner when he blamed you for what happened to Rick when it really was Spinner's and Alex's fault?!!?" Elizebeth began.

"What? Oh I felt rather horrified actually anyway best, Know you got a roommate, call me when it's no one there, Put the key under the mat, and you know I'll be over there
I'll be over there, shawty, I'll be over there, I'll be hitting all the spots that you ain't ev-" he started again.

"Dude shutup. Your a crappy rapper and should just go back to Degrassi! Ugh you all bore me" Elizebeth stated before dropping back down to where Brock was singing.

"Damn, two ugly black guys singing....I need a nap" Elizebeth said.

"IM FREAKING ASIAN MAN!!!" Brock screamed.
I am nothing
but a mouthful of 'sorry's, half-hearted
apologies that roll of my tongue, smoothquick, like 'r's
or maybe like pocket candy
that's just a bit too sweet.

~*~




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 37408
Reviews 182
"Stop with the racism!" Rorschach snarled.

Everybody grew silent.
"Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?”
-John 11:25-26




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 805
Reviews 336
Then the giant monkey queen jumped out of the forest that was conviently right next to them and began to scream obcenities. The cursing woke up Elizebeth and she broke the monkey queens neck to shut it up.

"Good night" Eliebeth said.

"Well this storybook has lost all of the tiny bit of a plot it had...wasn't this originally about twilight? Now it's about American Idol, Link, former Degrassi turned rappers, Brock from Pokemon and monkey queens....I'm out" Emmett said before jumping into the vortex.

"Great...WTF do we fo now?" Link asked.
I am nothing
but a mouthful of 'sorry's, half-hearted
apologies that roll of my tongue, smoothquick, like 'r's
or maybe like pocket candy
that's just a bit too sweet.

~*~




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 37408
Reviews 182
Rorschach ran up to them. "We arrest that woman up there," Rorschach said pointing up to Stephanie Myer.

Edward shivered.

"Don't worry I'm fully loaded, and I can survive massive head trauma," Rorschach said.

"I believe you," Links aid. "How else would you have survived all the times that Adrian brutally tossed you?"

"Well, you know Hollywood, always messing with the laws of physics. They don't seem to realize that I'm only a human."

"You know, the first time I watched Watchmen I thought you were a Vampire since you never came out in the sunlight," Edward said.

"By the way," Mario said. "How can you see with that mask?"

Rorschach grunted and waved for them to follow him.

"You didn't answer me quiestion," Mario said trotting beside Rorschach.

"How many Italians will I run into in this city?" Rorschach said.

Mario shrugged.
"Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?”
-John 11:25-26



"It matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be."
— Albus Dumbledore