Twilight Parody(Gory Shocking Ending)Hunting Death

Shiek slapped Edward. "No, you retarded looking child. I am Shiek."

Link ran to the figure in purple. They embraced.

Mario hunched over and vomited digital bile.

"Eww," Lara said pulling out a grenade.

"What the?" Link said. "You never had any grenades."

"Either stop that... that disgustingness, or get lost!" Lara said, her finger son the grenade pin.

"I've been alive for a long time Lara, and I assure you, disgustingness is not a word," Edward said.

Lara pulled the pin, lobbing the grenade at Edward. It exploded around his head.

"Ouch," Edward moaned, relatively unscathed by the explosive that would have obliterated a vehicle.

"So, you really are indestructible," Lara said, crossing her arms like an obnoxious teenage girl.

Mario sniffled a laugh.

"I am SHREK!! And I have no clue who Shiek is" Shrek screamed.

"Shrek shutup you'll bother the freaky donkey-dragon babies..how the hell did I ever get that stalker dragon preggos anyway?!?" Donkey yelled.

"I am SHIEK!! Who the hell am I?" Shiek yelled.

Then Lara threw a bomb at Mario to see if he was indestructible but it misse dand hit Shiek and he (she?) died.

Shiek vanished into this air and materialized thirty feet away.

"Darn it! I forgot you can teleport!" Lara said.

Skiek did a girly gesture and giggled.

Everybody laughed, even people walking by.

Man... I only discovered this today! I love you guys for making this!

Lector Hannibal walked up slowly to the laughing group. "What are you laughing at?"

The whole group was taken aback. "Hannibal the Cannibal!" Edward yelled.

"I don't want to hear that from a freaking vampire." Hannibal replied, "I am here to help, I psycho analysed myself and realised that, in order to get out of my err... bad habits, I need to eat the most pungent flesh known to man. That is the flesh of that cursed Stephanie Mayer."

"It's Myer, your moron," Edward said.

"Well you'd know, wouldn't you sparkling kid?" Hannibal said.

"You disgust me," Link said.

"Hey, you panty hoes wearing Peter Pan! Did you not hear me? I said I was changing!" Hannibal spat.

As a man walked by Hannibal grabbed them by the scruff of their neck and ripped their ear off, swallowing it whole.

"Agh!" the person said, clutching the hole where their ears was.

"Sorry," Hanibal replied as the man ran off.

Edward's eyes turned black with hunger. He eyed Hannibal, whose lips were oozing sweet smelling blood.

"What?" Hannibal said, licking his lips.

Hannibal looked over at Edward, 'Hey, Sparkling kid, if you don't stop looking at me like that, I will replay the latest Hannah Montana movie in my head so loud that you can't ignore it.'

Edward's face for a few moments after hearing this was the perfect earthly representation of the deepest pits of hell. 'You wouldn't!'

'No, but I can! And, if anyone else gets ideas, I will,' Hannibal whipped out a paper back book and shoves it out in front of him while adopting a dramatic pose, 'read this out loud...'

Link looked at the book, '"Hush! Hush!" What is that?'

'Can't you tell!' Hannibal screamed, 'The tacky picture on the cover, a title that is worse than my movie's name, a review from EdwardandBella.com! Even the sub-title will give you a clue!' Hannibal quoted "Hush! Hush! A fallen angel, a forbidden love!"

From a group of generic passersby, shrieks emerged, though it is impossible to tell if they are the yellings of a tortured soul, or of a fan-girl. 'See!' Hannibal continued, 'Even though no one knows of the book, it gets reactions like that! Imagine what it will do if many people read it, we will have another Twilight on our hands!'

Hannibal panted for breath after his rantings of how the world will end by a new predator, the 'reallybadatwritingromanceauthor' or 'RBAWRA' for short.

In one swift movement Edward thrust a hand out, decapitating Hannibal. Hannibal's head flew into the air and plopped on a car driving down the road.

The driver slammed on the brakes almost driving the road.
"Edward!" Lara said. "You killed a man!"

"So what? You killed Angelina Jolie," Edward said.

"She was a person?" Lara said, scratching her head.

Link and Mario shrugged.

Hannibal's head gasped loudly, a body grew from it and he stood up, 'You won't kill me that easily! I have ate so many people that I have gained regenerative powers!'

'WTF!' Lara yelled, shooting him a few times. The bullets popped out of Hannibal's body and he healed. He cackled dramatically. 'So, what now?'he asked the group.

"He's like a bloody vampire!" Edward said.

The new Hanibal pointed a finger at Edward and said, "Now that's what I call irony."

Mario threw a fireball at Hannibal.

"No!" Link said running in it's path and deflecting it with his shield.

"What!?" Mario said.

"Do you want his ashes to become Hannibal's!" Link roared.

Hannibal snickered at the group. 'Yes, you cannot kill me! Thanks Link, Darling!'

Link's face shriveled in disgust, 'Of all the people that could have came, why Hannibal?'

Hannibal also looked confused but tried to hide it, 'There are somethings that a Nintendo character was never meant to learn.'

Edward cut in, 'In other words, you don't know ether.'

'Why would one of the most well known horror characters of all time want to hang out with a sparkily kid, a panty hoes wearing peter pan, a woman who has her breasts enlarged everytime a new game comes out and... and... Mario.?'

'You have a point there...' Link replied thoughtfully.

"What?" Mario said in his heavy accent. "Juyst because Iy'm Italian that makes me the weirdo of the group?"

"I'm Italian too," a man in a trench coat said walking by.

"Sylvester Stallone!" Lara said.

"Yo, what is stranger?" Sylvester said.

Before Lara could answer Edward cut in with, "Wow, you're a lot shorter than you look on camera."

"Yeah, well a lot of people don't know that I'm not particularly tall. But, I am as muscular as I look on camera," Sylvester said, pushing out his chest, demonstrating what he meant.

A giant leech-caterpillar came out from Sallone's chest.

"Muahaha! Now I can take over the world with my worm baby things!!" He shrieked.

LAra rolled her eyes, took out her gun and shot the thing to pieces. Everyone turned an stared.

"What? I saw these in Egypt ALL THE TIME. Wait none of my adventures, where I do things impossible to the normal person, have taken me to Egypt! I must be posessed by Nicolas Cage from the Mummy!!" She said.

"He wasn't in that movie stupid," Edward said. "That was Brendan Frazer."

"Oh yeah," Lara said, looking away.

"HEHEHE!" Hannibal gigged, jumping up and down.

"You really are crazy," Link said.

"Whayt dyd you expect from a man that eats peyple?" Mario said.

Everybody shrugged.

A car driving by bathed them in it's ghostly glow. Edwards skin sparkled.

Then a random Twilight fan ran up to Edward clad in Twilighters United clothing.

"AHHHHH! OMFG!!! Your like, Edward like, Cullen! I like love like you!! LIKE OMFG!! I so gotta tweet this and aim this and facebook this!! Do you show up in picyures? I could take one of you and me and tag it!!!!" The little brunette freak screamed.

Link grabbed a bomb from his invisible book bag and threw it at her, killing her.

"You said you didn't have your invisible bookbag! What else are you hiding from us?!" Lara yelled, pulling out her guns and pointing them at the cartoon character.

Link bowed his head in shame then yelled to the world,

"IM COMING OUT OF THE CLOSET!!! I'M-I'M REALLY PIKATCHU!!! WAHHHHHHH!!!!" He wailed.

*That put a smile on my sad face that I've been wearing all day*

"OK, so I'm not really a Pokemon, but, I do like to dress like a girl," Link shamelessly said.

There was an awkward silence as a cricket chirped.

Mario stomped his foot hard on the ground and the noise died out. "You go squish bug!" Mario said. The he sighed. "Ahh, there weren't any coyins inside you."

"Boys you are crazy," Lara said, waving a hand as she walked off.

Edward watched as group of drunk guys whistled at her. Upon reading their thoughts he vomited.

"EWW!" Link and Mario said.

"You vomit ash!" Mario said, pointing to a pile of black saw dust like material.